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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

by feeding the cat?

21 replies

Moominlandmidwinter · 21/12/2012 21:05

It's not my cat. It belongs to somebody on our street. It started hanging around outside our house a couple of months ago. It looks thin and unkempt, with scabs on its face. It's very friendly, and my DDs make a fuss of it everytime they see it, which is practically everytime they go outside the front door, or arrive home from school.

A few weeks ago, we noticed our next door neighbour had left some food outside for it. They told us that they knew that the cat's owner goes away on business for periods of time, but leaves the poor cat to fend for itself.

Three times today, the cat has ran through the front door and in to the house. I've shooed it out, but on the third time, it wouldn't budge. I picked it up, and it purred. When it realised it was being put outside, it tried to cling to the wall with it's claws. I felt so sorry for the poor thing that I've given it some chicken.

We can't take it in, it does have an owner (although I'm not sure which house it belongs to). Should I take or report it to the RSPCA? I'm not sure what to do!

OP posts:
MoonlightMerrimentandMistletoe · 21/12/2012 21:09

Normally I'd say, don't feed, but given the circumstances you describe then:

Would your next door neighbour know who 'owns' it? If so, then maybe pop a note in saying if they're looking for it, it may be in your house and to call you. That way you can hand the beastie back if they do come to find it and if they don't then at least he isn't left to fend for himself.

boomting · 21/12/2012 22:11

It's underweight, he's clearly ill, it's sodding cold outside, and it's not being looked after properly. YANBU.

I used to cat sit for a cat that lived not far away. It had moved in with its owners after his original owners didn't look after him properly. Eventually he collapsed in their house and refused to move. They took him to the vets, and if they hadn't done that then, he wouldn't have survived. I'm normally a dog person, but he was one of the few cats I've ever me that I've genuinely liked.

As it's cold outside and the cat doesn't have the insulating layer of fat that it needs, are you sure that it couldn't be allowed inside until the cold weather passes? So long as you don't stop it from leaving again, then you're not doing anything wrong, and you're not taking it in as much as you're providing it some level of respite care.

oldpeculiar · 21/12/2012 22:28

I would ask your neighbour where the cat lives and take it round and have a chat with the owner. I am very suspicious that if you and your neighbour are giving it chicken, it is not wanting to go home.

Original poster
Moominlandmidwinter · 21/12/2012 22:41

I think I'll speak to my next door neighbour tomorrow and find out which house it's from, and perhaps put a note through the door. I'm pretty sure the owner is away at the moment, as the cat seems to be always outside.

I'm not sure I could take it in, as DH doesn't really like cats, and we have a 12 week old baby. Downstairs is pretty much open plan, so it's not as if I could keep it in one room away from the baby. I'm going to speak to DH tomorrow about it though, to see what he thinks.

OP posts:
lovelyladuree · 21/12/2012 23:02

Shoot to kill.

PiccadillyCervix · 22/12/2012 00:47

YABU to not take have already taken it to the RSCPA

Selks · 22/12/2012 00:52

Take it to the RSPCA? What a stupid suggestion!
a) it belongs to someone
b) you do know that the RSPCA destroys unwanted pets that it can't rehome??

OP please take the cat in, this is no weather for it to be out, the poor thing Sad Angry

madbengal · 22/12/2012 02:39

I have 3 cats and would have probably keep it, put a note through the owners door and when they come round give them a piece of my mind and still keep the cat

Cats arent actually a danger to babies mine protected DD by attacking legs from the pram basket rofl

monsterchild · 22/12/2012 02:57

I agree with madbengal, I have cats and they just won't be left alone with a baby. Mostly they are afraid of small children. Keep the cat until you can speak with the owner. I would probably keep it too, but I'm a bit mad for cats!

Original poster
Moominlandmidwinter · 22/12/2012 08:02

The only problem I have is DH. He was out overnight, but I'm going to suggest that we let the cat stay, find out who the owner is, and tell them that if they want their cat, they know where to find it (and politely suggest that they look after it properly!).

What should I buy? I don't know if it's got fleas and/or worms- so should I get worming tablets and anti-flea stuff? What sort? Dry or wet food? A bed? We had cats when I was a child, but my parents took care of the practicalities!

OP posts:
fosterdream · 22/12/2012 08:46

De-flea, worm and the rest after a week so you don't poison it if it's been done already.

I'd be keeping it but only because the best pets we've ever had are the ones that have found us! Pop a note through the door saying the cat kept insisting on coming in and you've given up getting rid of it.

We got our cat when DD1 was 1 and I was pregnant and DH didn't like him at the time even though he'd been on about getting one for years! The cat attacked a friend that went over to DD2 without me going with him.

We got our cat when I'd got lost on a walk and finding my way home via a village miles away from home and saw the add in a persons window, I played with with the kittens and they went back to their bed under the stairs and our cat fell asleep on DD1's knee! So I bought him and picked him up a few weeks later. He follows DD1 to school and sometimes meets me at the school at pick up time, his come on walks with us and jumped in the storage area under the pram.

His also been run over and broke his leg and the bill was £350, so you also need to think about vets bills and our cat eats more than my dog!

Please ignore mistakes on my tablet and a toddler jumping next to me whilst DD1 is still in bed thank god for the lay inns and lazy mornings for two weeks

Kytti · 22/12/2012 08:56

I'd keep it too. If it likes its owner, it will go home. If it doesn't, it won't. You don't own cats, they own you.

They're usually very good with children.

MissPants · 22/12/2012 09:49

I would speak to the owner first, clarify whether the cat is being treated by a vet for it's problems before you act.

Someone "took my cat in" as she looked thin and unkempt and it absolutely devastated me. I had had her since I was 5, she was 20 years old and struggled to gain weight even on high calorie food, she had skin cancer despite having had sunscreen religiously applied on her white bits so she looked scabby and she had a liver disorder. All of which she was being treated for by our vet.

Elderly lady down the road decided that she wasn't being fed or looked after properly and kept feeding her and taking her in the house. We did keep going along to explain that although she looked neglected she really wasn't and had a very loving home but to no avail. Eventually it was just kinder to leave her there as repeatedly taking her back and forth was unfair at her age.

I never saw her again despite pleading with the lady to please let us stay in touch as I wanted to be there with her when she died Sad

Could be that the cat is neglected and needs help but it's best to check or at least contact the RSPCA so they can check if it is being cared for despite apearances.

PiccadillyCervix · 22/12/2012 22:08

Selks
Take it to the RSPCA? What a stupid suggestion!
a) it belongs to someone
b) you do know that the RSPCA destroys unwanted pets that it can't rehome??

a) it belongs to someone..yes exactly. It belongs to someone who is leaving a domesticated animal alone with no food or shelter. This is called neglect. If they were parents they would go to jail. Losing their cat seems a small price to pay.

b) yes, of course I know that. I am a grown up who understands that the RSPCA do this because they know it is more cruel to leave an animal in a cage for years than to put them down. They are not some evil animal killing factory.

c) I say this as a vegetarian.

happierwithgin · 23/12/2012 07:28

I would phone the Cats Protection League. The poor little bugger is being neglected, its not your cat but the kindest thing you could do would be to contact the CPL....not the RSPCA.

Allergictoironing · 23/12/2012 08:26

Do the CPL have the same powers as the RSPCA to get people to do the right thing by mistreated or neglected pets though?

Advantage of calling the RSPCA is that they can get things done, working with the police, to ensure the animal is cared for properly.

HermioneE · 23/12/2012 08:34

Definitely talk to the owners. There's one down our road that's suffering from cancer and consequently looks very thin and a bit of a mess at the moment, and the owners put a note through everyone's door to let them know that it's being very well cared for even if it doesn't look it! With lots of fuss from your DDs plus chicken (way better than cat food to most cats) the fact that it keeps trying to get in is not surprising ;)

Don't rely on hearsay, talk to the owners if you can before you decide what to do.

sixlostmonkeys · 23/12/2012 09:51

Talk to the owners before you do anything. And... talk to them nicely.

I had a cat who lived to be 20. During his last months he looked dreadful. Regular visits to the vets assured me he wasn't suffering and he was on medication. He lost weight and his fur became matted. The vet would clip the matted bits to make him more comfortable.
One day I had a woman knock on my door, holding my cat and screaming and shouting at me for neglecting my cat. She told me her husband would be round to beat me up. I told her the situation, showed her the medication and she became sheepish and walked away.
One day my cat arrived home with a RSPCA collar on. I phoned the RSPCA inspector who told me a neighbour had called him and was insistent that he put the cat to sleep. he told me what he told her - the cat was obviously well looked after and was just old. He was a lovely chap who assured me everything was ok, that I was doing the right thing and that he hoped we were left alone so that the family cat could spend his last days with his family.
My NDN told me of another neighbour who had been telling everyone she had called the RSPCA. I went to see this particular neighbour who ranted and raved at me, telling me she knew more than me. She screamed about his hair falling out; I told her that as she was so knowledgeable she could surely tell the difference between hair loss and shaved, etc etc. I noticed a saucer of milk on her doorstep ans asked her about it. She told me she had been giving him milk. Well, that would account for him coming home and being sick then.

The day came when I knew it was his time. He spent the day on my knee, then we went to the vet. My young DS insisted he was in his arms as he was put to sleep.

I have 20 years worth of memories of my cat cat, but sadly the memories are tarnished by those last few weeks.
So, after this long ramble, I'll go back to my opening line - talk to the owner....nicely.

boomting · 26/12/2012 18:44

Moomin - how's the cat?

Original poster
Moominlandmidwinter · 26/12/2012 23:07

Hi, we didn't take the cat in, as DH said absolutely no way. However, although I have seen it, I think it's owner must be back for Christmas as it's not been around as much. If it appears to have been left to fend for itself without any shelter and possibly food, I will call the RSPCA.

OP posts:
boomting · 30/12/2012 23:43

Cat's Protection might be better - they don't put healthy cats down, which the RSPCA do.

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