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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to NOT buy this boy a Christmas present (again!!!)

44 replies

ginmakesitallok · 21/12/2012 16:34

So - know there have been a few threads like this but... All chirstmas shopping done - was looking forward to not having to leave the house to brave the shops. DMIL has just called to say DPs cousin has bought presents for our 2 DC, so we will have to get something for her son. We never see this cousin, and haven't seen wee boy in years. Why should we have to go out to get him something? DP says we should. I say we shouldn't - if we do then this will just happen every Christmas.

I agree to abide by the MN jury...

OP posts:
Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 21/12/2012 19:08

MIL wouldn't manufacture the situation - kids don't get gifts at her home, she'll give it to her sister who will pass it on, and her sister will pass on gifts from cousin.

OP posts:
PiccadillyCervix · 21/12/2012 20:30

Don't do it.

sparkle12mar08 · 21/12/2012 20:57

Can you get a book or something from the pound shop? I sure as hell wouldn't get a child I'd not seen in years and didn't even know how old it was a tenner in a card!

SweetMingePie · 21/12/2012 21:04

Stick a tenner in a card.

MIL buys her deceased friends grandchildren a present every year and their mum gives my three a tenner each. I've never met this woman, she has maybe met my DC a handful of times when they've been at MILs for whatever reason. It's Christmas! Stop being such a humbug!

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 21:11

I wouldnt it annoys me - my mother hates that I wont buy back for virtual strangers and I have a feeling she does it on my behalf.

I buy for my DCs and also my sisters, my mother and thats it - no-one else - we dont even buy for each other, everyone knows this, so I object to people trying to expand our present lists.

openerofjars · 21/12/2012 21:11

Don't do it. I've put my foot down this year about buying for DH's cousins' kids as there are so many of them that we haven't met, they have no idea who we are and it is just the mothers (the dads dont give a crap who gets what) keeping the insane cycle going. It is much easier in the long run if we all just stop it, but I am waiting for the muttering when it becomes apparent that I haven't done a trolley dash in the toy bit of Tesco this year. But it has to stop: we are buying for 15 children or so if it doesn't and we just can't sustain that.

breatheslowly · 21/12/2012 21:14

Get one this year, but then contact the cousin and suggest that you stop next year as you are finding the expense of buying for so many too much and your DC are getting more presents than they can reasonably play with.

everlong · 21/12/2012 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 21/12/2012 21:22

Another vote for don't do it. Why send a gift to a child you don't know?

3b1g · 21/12/2012 21:29

The child himself won't notice or care if you don't get him anything. My children have never once commented or asked about presents that they didn't receive.

His parents might notice, but if it bothers them that much then they won't get your DCs anything next year, so you have successfully broken the cycle.

Your MIL might be annoyed, but that's her problem.

We try to actively resist letting the whole gift thing get out of control. We don't buy any presents for adults and only buy for ten children: our own DCs, our godchildren and nephew. Apart from the grandparents and godparents, we discourage people from buying stuff for our children. No regrets at all.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 21/12/2012 21:30

What happened to not giving to receive? I don't see why you have to give just because they have.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding · 21/12/2012 21:32

Don't do it, it paves the way for having to buy one every year because he will expect one.
You start with cousins, where will it end, cousins children, cousins siblings, cousins of cousins yswim?

Pinner35 · 21/12/2012 21:34

I agree with all the others who say don't do it.

RyleDup · 21/12/2012 21:37

Amazon voucher.

NamingOfParts · 21/12/2012 21:38

YANBU

  • The people who get gifts because that is what they like doing wont be offended and will happily carry on buying for your DCs.

  • The people who are doing it to make a point (not necessarily to you) will eventually get the message and stop.

  • If your DMiL is using the gifts as a way of maintaining Happy Families then she will be the one left having to sort out the mess.

boobybum · 21/12/2012 21:59

Don't do it. Christmas is not about spending loads of money buying tat for people you don't really know. I do like Christmas for the food/carols/fairy lights etc but can't stand the mindless consumerist aspect. It is up to people like us to drag the true meaning of Christmas back! After Christmas send the cousins a nice thank you card.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 21/12/2012 22:36

Don't do it. Christmas is, in part, about giving thoughtful gifts to those you love. Not about giving random gifts to all and sundry to avoid some perceived slight.

BiscuitCrumbsInBed · 21/12/2012 22:46

Don't do it - you'll just end up having to do it again next year, and the kid won't notice or care. I love Christmas but am quite anti excessive present buying.

Pendipidy · 21/12/2012 22:52

do not do it. (what's the score now?) forward kid you don't even know , family you don't spend time with, its silly.

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