I know I am, just disappointed - knock some sense into me please!!!

[itsmineitsmine]

Dh has been working really, really hard recently, has barely seen the DC etc.

We've really been looking forward to him having 2 weeks off over christmas. I really couldn't wait for today. He asked me to get steak and chips (his favourite meal, I'm not that keen on it) for us to have tonight.

Today he's texted asking me to give him a lift back to work at lunchtime cos he's going out for drinks after work, and to eat without him.

I KNOW he's been working really hard and I don't at all begrudge him going out and am always happy to look after the dc so he can.

But I just feel disappointed that today he wants to push off early and go out with his work colleagues while I get to pack for our trip away tomorrow, put the kids to bed on my own again and eat by myself in front of the telly.

The stupid thing is that I wouldn't mind him going out at all if I'd know that that's how today was going to be.

I've asked if the DC and I can come and pick him up at about 6 and have a drink there and I'll drive us home but he doesn't want us there :( which I can kind of understand but lots of his colleagues have DC and take them along to these things.

I just feel a bit sad that he's out celebrating the start of the christmas holidays while I'm stuck at home. And I KNOW it's not a big deal!!!!

Itsiggining - that's a fine plan!!!

Just annoyed if I'd know earlier I could have arranged something with one of my friends and their DC probably where we could all have done something together.

tell him his guilt is not your problem, this is what happens when you change plans last minute, people get dissappointed and he has to deal with that, stop trying to lay his guilt trip on you

He has just pointed out to me that he mentioned there 'may' be works drinks today but he referred to them at the time as "something he wasn't really bothered about" so I guess I didn't realise he would find them more appealing than being at home.

Or I think I assumed he might go for an hour or so then come home for dinner but dropping his car at home and telling me to eat without him doesn't sound like that.

Right - pictures, bowling or pantomime, have a nice meal, put kids to bed and drink wine whilst packing - sorted.

Tomorrow morning is a classic caught-driving-over-the-limit day because of the work parties. I'd be worried mostly about that I think.

I totally understand the reaction of not wanting him to spend the night with you now after he's made it obvious it would just be out of a sense of duty. I hate that.

Options: tell him to just go to the drinks this evening, but you want him to do things differently in the future, and have a fun night of your own with the kids.

Or spend the evening with him, but have a frank conversation at start of evening about why you were upset and how now tbh you feel a bit shit being his second choice. Then agree to put it all behind you and try to have a nice evening with him. Hopefully your words will have had some effect and he'll do his part in making things fun too.

Thanks all.

Well he's just been home and dropped the car and I've dropped him back at work.

Went to Tesco on the way home and bought myself a trashy mag, some wine and ice cream. Haven't had lunch yet so going to stop at the local kiddie friendly pub on the way home from the school run and have something to eat with the DC then if he is home in time we can eat together, as I'll have eaten late.

Thanks for all advice, happy christmas everyone :)

And why doesn't he want you and the DC at the party? ?

I'm glad you've got yourself a nice evening planned.

I'm a single parent and always have been so I suppose I maybe just haven't learned about compromise but, tbh, not much would have made me miss my work Christmas drinks last Friday. After a tough term's work you need to drink with your colleagues and wind down not just go home. A lot were off on holiday the next day though so I don't know what their husbands/wives thought about it.

Can I just say - it's not his works night out. He's had that already the other week - I drove him there and looked after the DC and he rolled in at 4AM and lay in til the following afternoon (I had no problem with that!)

oh, that's different then!