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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we all need to chill out a bit about Christmas

21 replies

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:06

I love Christmas. Really love it. My house is festooned with tree, garlands, ornaments, lights, santa figurines, snowmen etc. All tasteful, of course. Love it.

This year we moved abroad, and Christmas in a tropical climate is different. I've only just realised how much work Christmas usually is, and how much more enjoyable it can be when we take a step back from the madness.

Things that are different this year:

All presents for people at home from internet, delivered direct, wrapped. Only for kids and a joint one for each family. No expectation from others.
Kids' and our presents (a friend is staying too) minimal.
No cooking! We are going out for xmas dinner (not extortionate!)
No mince pie making, or stuffing, or cake, or anything else that seems so important but in reality is a huge waste of time.
No endless visits to barely-known relatives
No guilt for missing those visits
No hassle trying to figure out who we can see, when, if they are getting enough allotted time etc.
Kids not bombarded with xmas madness since September
No cards sent, and no grief for this.
No hand-made, time-consuming 'cute' presents from the kids but made by me to all and sundry.
Kids get a reasonable amount of presents - not the usual mountain that we have no room for.
We have only received a handful of cards - all home made with a special note inside and thoughtful. Much prefer this to hundreds of generic ones.

It is such a relief! It's incredible when I realise how much work I usually put into Christmas, and the realisation that this year will be just as good, perhaps better as no hard work on xmas day. I will miss seeing people, and I'd love to go to a carol service, but the rest is fabulous!

And best of all? Celebrating NYE with friends on a tropical island! Xmas Smile Obviously you can't all move abroad, but I think it's worth each of us taking a step back and weighing up if the effort we put into Christmas is really worth it.

OP posts:
TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 09:07

Interesting. I enjoy all those things you call 'a waste of time'. And would miss them tremendously if I didn't do them. I don't find the holidays stressful at all.

squeakytoy · 21/12/2012 09:09

I am sure you didnt mean to come across as so smug Grin

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:09

Oh, I thought I did too, until I realised that I was doing them as some kind of endurance test! If I were to do one, given a gentle time span, I would love it, but those few days between end of work and xmas day are SO rushed and stressed that I find it impossible to enjoy them.

OP posts:
LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:11

No, happy I think squeaky. Is that the same as smug? I guess I just sat down and thought about it, and it made me happy to realise we aren't missing out, when in fact xmas (and our love for it) was one of the main factors against coming out here.

DH is missing the UK weather terribly. Hmm Can't agree with him on that. He likes 'the seasons'.

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HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 21/12/2012 09:12

Well, I think those things are nice. What I don't understand is why people get stressed doing them. It's fun. If it's not fun - don't do it.

It makes me sad when I see people getting themselves worked up about it all. Yes, it's a busy time, but it can be a busy fun time not a busy stressed time.

cory · 21/12/2012 09:12

afraid cooking is my way of relaxation, it's the only time of year I get to see my relatives and we've never been able to afford mountaints of presents anyway, so your post doesn't do a lot for me, but I'm sure I'm glad you're having a nice time

interesting that you think making presents from the children a waste of time but feel your own Christmas has been enhanced by other people's home-made cards...

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:15

No no, I get your point cory. I guess I have been so caught up in making lots of 'special' things 'from' the kids in previous years, and had to include so many people in that, that it became somewhat of a factory line, with time running out and needing to get them done, dried, sent etc...

Re mountains of toys - I found that having small children makes people who don't know you all that well feel obliged to spend money they don't have on them. So many toys, so unnecessary really. Appreciated of course, and lovely, but silly.

OP posts:
TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 09:17

Exactly, Hec. If I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't do it!

The only thing I'm stressed about this year is that my FIL is quite ill and so they won't be able to come down for Christmas as planned. It's not life threatening or anything, just a bit worrying. He may be spending New Year in the hospital.

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:20

Oh, sorry to hear that Tee. Xmas Sad

OP posts:
cinnamonnut · 21/12/2012 09:24

We're just having the three of us again Xmas Smile

Stockings, a nice breakfast, christmas dinner from M&S, and presents and then sitting around chatting Xmas Smile

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:26

That sounds perfect. :)

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TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 21/12/2012 09:28

It's nice that you have discovered that you do not miss those things.

Some people might find that they looked forward to a holiday without the things you call "a waste of time" and then discover that actually they quite missed it.

SuoceraBlues · 21/12/2012 09:31

I liked the laid back xmas when I first moved to Asia. By year three I was miserable about the lack of proper xmas.

It was so lovely that first xmas I came home for good, all the twiddly bits at home and when out and about felt like magic.

I think anybody who finds xmas a chore should of course feel free to wind it back to a point they are comfortable with, but it is by no means a solution for people who don't have a problem.

My tree is going up today (we have small kitten this year, thus waiting till last minute to reduce tree havoc to minimum). It's exciting.Grin

pictish · 21/12/2012 09:31

I think the OP makes a fair point. She's not really saying that everyone is foolish to indulge in the excesses of Christmas...she's saying that it's silly to exert ourselves to the point of feeling stressed. If it doesn't stress you out then her post is not aimed at you.

Fwiw - I only do what I can be arsed to at Christmas. I don't get stressed, I love it.

LoopsInHoops · 21/12/2012 09:32

Yes, true enough trills.

OP posts:
tempnameswap · 21/12/2012 09:41

People are being a bit harsh on the OP! She's just saying she thought she would miss all the mayhem, but actually she is enjoying the lack of stress. If you don't get stressed by the preparations then that's great but a lot of people do, and she does have a point - in many cases extra work is created with little enjoyment in return.

FWIW I like the run up to xmas but I do think sometimes the combined effort over all these households is a bit mad.

I suppose the true test of the (xmas) pudding is whether the low-key version creates as many memories for the children and is as enjoyable next year and the year after.....

TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 21/12/2012 13:03

No one's being harsh. Having a differing opinion does not equal harsh!

Thanks, Loops. The hardest part has been no diagnosis for what seems like months (it's been maybe weeks), but we finally know what it is and he's getting the proper treatment. We are hoping to see him next weekend instead and have a long long Christmas. I don't think my son will object. Xmas Grin

EuroShagmore · 21/12/2012 13:12

I don't quite get the fuss either. It's a roast dinner, some booze and some presents. I don't get why some people make it into some kind of endurance challenge.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 21/12/2012 13:16

Loops- do you think part of it is that as a teacher in the UK, you are sick of Christmas before it even begins due to all the stuff at school? Presumably in KL there is less build up, if any?

AnyaKnowIt · 21/12/2012 13:18

I just can't be arsed to get stressed over 1 day

SantaWearsGreen · 21/12/2012 13:21

I like doing those things/don't do some of them anyway..

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas to me if it were warm outside (hate warm weather anyway!) and I didn't bake.. I love baking! Its all part of the Christmas spirit! Nah I'll take my cold British Christmas thanks Xmas Grin

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