to think that 8.30 is not late to come home from drinks after work.

[SantasBitch]

DH is crashing round the kitchen, all shouty and sweary because he "didn't know what time I'd be home". There is no reason why he couldn't have fed himself and the DDs earlier, and I could have heated mine up. He didn't have to wait for me to come home and cook, or for me to come home so that he could start cooking. I finished work shortly after 6, went for drinks with work colleagues and got a lift home, so just about two hours from going to pub to getting home.

Did he think. Apologies, phone post.

diddl.

I must admit I don't understand this waiting to eat thing. I think loads of people do it.

Screw that. Dinner's at 6. If you're not home, find it in the microwave. I don't understand why anyone would wait, at home, with a kitchen full of food, sitting there cross and hungry, because another person wasn't home yet.

just bloody eat, for crying out loud

8.30 is early as long as the other partner knows you are going for drinks after work.

It's the difference between "going for a drink" and "having a night out". A communication issue. Which is why you should just say.

(of course he could also have asked)

DH and I would always clarify with each other what 'out' meant.

Because an hour in the pub and then home is a very different thing to late for dinner, to missing dinner altogether, to 'don't wait up'.

It is always best to be explicit, and then only polite to communicate if plans change.

I would go spare if DH said he was going out for an hour and then was still out 9 hours later with no communication - it is massively disrespectful.

"Which is why you should just say."

But equally he could have asked??!!

If he knew you were going out, even if he didn't know the details, like were you eating out, and what exact time you were coming home it is nasty and uneccessary to be crashing round shouting and sweary.

He knew you were going out, he should have got on and done tea for the kids at the noirmal time and expected you when he saw you.

Not sure why people are debating the finer points of the minutiae of the arrangements - crashing about shouting and sweary is totally over the top.

YANBU

YANBU, ime (as a publican) 8.30 is early. My pub is still jam packed with people out for drinks after work. He's trying make a point that he doesn't like you going out without him by not even making dinner for at least the kids.

YANBU.

You told him you were going out. Does he think he's your "keeper"

Brilliant x post

I'm going for end-of-term lunch straight from work tomorrow. DD has a party at afterschool. "I'll be making tea for just myself then?" asked DH.

See? That's communication. Not hard really.