To be annoyed with all the childhood testing - even before they start school?!

[Fabuloo]

I took DS 3 (2 years) for his 2 year check with the health visitor today. She had a questionnaire for us to complete about what DS can/can't do yet... He could do it all and can speak well... she said how intelligent he is as his speech and 'skills' are so advanced....

This bother me because DS 2 (now 4) didn't speak until he was 3 and is quite uncoordinated but also intelligent.

I told her that being a mother of three I have come to realise it doesn't matter how soon they can 'perform' tasks, and that by catergorising them and giving them 'targets' they are only making parents anxious and setting children up to 'pass' or 'fail'.

I remember tearing my hair out as the HV told me that DS 2 was underweight and had him on a special diet and food chart, he was fine and still is...

Arghhhh rant over!

YABU. My DD1 was also advanced at her 2 year check whilst DS (3rd child) didn't speak until he was over 3.

However DS, we now know, has moderate to severe autism and the fact he was picked up as behind at his 2 year check most certainly contributed to him getting support and a diagnosis very early.

It's nothing to do with passing or failing, it is simply to do with picking up on issues which could potentially be significant, as early as possible.

It's to pick up children with developmental delay so appropriate help and therapy can be started as soon as possible.

you don't "pass or fail"
if you don't tick the milestones you get put under observation which is no big deal - they just check in every few months to see how it's progressing

Mine was under observation, which just meant another check in a few months time, by which time he was talking so was discharged - no big deal! he didn't get a "fail" on his record for the first check

I had physical development problems as a child that weren't picked up until much too late really so I think this is all good

Yabu.

It would be worse if they did nothing and left parents to make the first move if they are worried about their child's development. Children would be denied help they actually need.

Where i live in London,there are no developmental checks offered after the 6 week check.

My Ds7 has a diagnosis of ASD &ADHD. I have no doubt if he had, had a 2yr check,his poor social & emotional development would have been picked up.

Ds is my 4th child, no speech delays,very intelligent ( I.Q 126), actually easier to care for then most NT children.

It was when he went to nursery at 3&half,i realised something was wrong.

Ds attends a special school & he couldn't manage in mainstream.

YABU

As others have pointed out, it is not a case of passing or failing, it is a case of problems being highlighted.

Our hv came and did an assessment of ds when he was nearly 8 months old, and he was referred to the paeds, as he was delayed in all areas - she wasn't trying to pass or fail him. Thank god she was as on the ball as she was, as within a couple of months ds had a place at a sn nursery, physio, SALT, etc.

Your dcs are fine, which is great, but my ds wasn't. It s easy to think that it would be obvious if there were concerns, but really it is easy for things to be missed for all sorts of reasons. Ds is also my 3rd, but his problems had been masked by the fact he had such awful reflux.

In my opinion, checks like these are incredibly important.

YABU. My daughter is not a failure because she has 'failed' her 9-month hearing test! And won't be if she fails the retest, either.

But she will be able to benefit from hearing aids as soon as possible and probably have no other problems apart from wearing them, unlike me, as I didn't get hearing aids until much later and therefore never learnt to interpret sound well enough to make that much use of them (I can speak well and understand most people in quiet rooms, but I'm buggered phoning a call centre!)

YABU - it's not a 'test' to pass or fail, it's an opportunity to pick up any issues there may be, so parents can get support for their children

Hardly new either.

I told her that being a mother of three I have come to realise it doesn't matter how soon they can 'perform' tasks, and that by catergorising them and giving them 'targets' they are only making parents anxious and setting children up to 'pass' or 'fail'.

This, in particular is unreasonable, milestones aren't about 'performing' they are recognised windows of time, that demonstrate how the brain is developing. When ds wasn't able to sit at 8 months, and not babbling or playing with toys, it was nothing to do with him 'failing' at these things, but it was a huge red flag to the hv, who could then show us where to get support.

I understand how you feel in some ways. If you have a child with no problems, difficulties etc, it can feel that they are being tested and it's for no benefit. Your HV was misguided to say that your DS3 was intelligent because of his development, but give her a break - she was just being nice, not saying your other child was not intelligent because his speech came later.

There are lots of tests that seemingly have no benefit - until your child is the one whose test result indicates a problem, when it suddenly becomes absolutely vital.

I understand where you are coming from this is the new 2 year check from the EYFS. It will be carried out by nurseries/ child minders and, where children don't attend this sort of provision, by the HV.

Because they (HV) can only get info from that one check (unlike nurseries etc who can build a picture over a period of time) it becomes a tick list of cans and cannots rather that seeing where each individual is at and setting appropriate "next steps".

It won't necessarily pick up children having difficulty and could give a false sense of security to some as at that point the parents perceive their child is doing well.

My friends had the check for their DD the HV ( like yours) praised her intelligence at being able to count by rote to 10.

Actually the check should focus on the three prime areas of personal, physical and language development as these need to be securely in place for children to move forward.
So YANBU

I've just looked at the eyfs check online, and it looks as though it covers those 3 areas. I haven't had the 2 year check (somehow the dds missedd it, and it isn't relevant to ds) so don't know how those areas are assessed.

The comments about intelligence, may be a bit misguided, but were probably made in a conversational way.

The op seems to be annoyed about any sort of guidelines on developmental targets.

YABU, ds 3yrs 5mths, cannot speak coherently nor fluently, he also struggles with languages processing, and understanding, the school has referred him and is helping with his language development.

oh i agree with op so much, my poor son was referred all over the place for this and that, it really ruined my time with him at that age as i all did was fret and worry. looking back i am angry that i worried so much.

of course i understand how important and helpful they are to some children, but feel some are really scruitinised for no particular reason.

am glad i don't have small children as i don't think i could cope with interferring professionals anymore!