aibu to not live in Los Angeles?

[pocketfullofquarters]

I worked in Los Angeles for three months this year. Met a man there and fell crazy in love with him. The feeling was very mutual.

However coming back home to the UK, our relationship exploded. Lack of communication, huge time difference, both had issues going on in our life. It ended. I tried to call him recently and his number doesn't even exist anymore.

I have been offered the opportunity to move back to LA for at least 12 months. Its a fantastic opportunity but a small part of me is worried that am I just doing it just so I can see my ex.

For all I know, I could move there and he'll be very happy with someone else. And if thats the case then I'm going to be devastated.

aibu to give up this opportunity?

Honestly, how crazy in love were you if it all fell apart when you weren't there any more?

I met my husband when he lived in Belfast and I lived in San Francisco. We made it work for 2 years before I moved to Belfast.

On the other hand, I hate LA, so that's reason enough for me to not move there.

I'll go!

How would you feel about the offer if you hasn't met the man?

Hadn't!

If you don't go are you going to regret it more than if you go?

I don't think I'd want to live in America

I agree that LA isn't as fantastic as some people may believe it to be.

I do still love it and hated SF.

Maybe I need to realise he wasn't as committed as I was and get over it.

I think you need to take the ex put of the equation and make your decision based on that. I.e is the job/location worth it?

I would work on the assumption that this relationship is over and take it out of the equation entirely, when deciding. If it's of benefit to you career wise and/or you love the place then go. If not then don't.

I think LA is a shithole. WHY CAN'T I WALK ANYWHERE? However, you like it so go for it. Screw the ex metaphorically, not literally.

Leave him out of it. Is the job worth it? If so, then go. You never know, you might meet someone else better!

I love the States and have worked there but can never get out of LA quick enough. Horrible, soul-less place.

Go for the job, the opportunity and the money by all means - not the bloke who may well have someone else by now

It's warm and rarely rains... GO FOR IT

You said yourself 'it's a fantastic opportunity.'

So go!

So what if he is there? If you previously worked in London and had an ex in London would you turn down a job in London? No.

The ex may or may not come back on the scene, but it's still a fantastic opportunity. That's the main thing.

If you are moving because you want to see him again I'd forget it. If his number doesn't exist anymore and he hasn't bothered to contact you it's over.
If you are moving because you want to spend a year in LA for you, then do it.
We are moving back from CA and can't wait to get home to our family, we've been here way too long we are getting soft. The US isn't the land of milk and honey and eternal sunshine.
Living long term isn't better than anywhere else, shame shit different area. Sunshine is over rated (I think many who move back from US and OZ can attest to that) LA is expensive and plastic. We avoid it like the plague.
San Francisco however is the best!

Personally LA leaves me stone cold.(i've been there a fair few time (not by choice but work) Its not the sort of place I'd live in (and I live in Dubai FFS) but TBH I wouldn't let a former boyfriend influence where I live .. It's a big (ish) city so I'm/sure there's room for you both to not knock heads if you really wanted to move there .. But it sounds from your OP that you have ishoos so perhaps not.

LA is massively over-rated. Unless you are super rich its actually a pain in the arse to live in. But it's an opportunity to do something different... How much do you want the job?

Forget the Ex. But life is for living and this is a short (12 mth) experience. Whether it is brilliant experience or not it is worth exploring. Home can wait and won't have changed much when you return but you will have grown much more for going than not going. I lived there for 2 years and loved it initially then felt it was time to 'get real' as it is an introverted place but is also surrounded by beautiful places to visit and things to do, and 25 years on, I am SO pleased I went and am still friends with people I met there which is priceless.

If exactly the same job was in New York, would you take it?