To tell my neighbour that I won't let her in unannounced anymore

[SaBearOz]

My NDN is also our freeholder and we have been in the process of selling our 1st floor flat (we have a good buyer) and had hoped to move before Christmas. NDN was aware that we were selling and that we had accepted an offer. She was sent paperwork to complete as the freeholder along with her adult daughter who shares this responsibility. Her daughter thought her mum had completed the paperwork several weeks ago but last week we found out that NDN refuses to complete the paperwork until we fix a leak in our bathroom that she says is causing mould in her bathroom (her flat is underneath ours). Turns out she has had this problem for 6 months but hasn't told us. She hasn't had a plumber or any professional look at it. So I immediately arrange a plumber and tell her he will be here between 3-5pm. the plumber says no we don't have a leak but she has a case if severe rising damp (she has blocked off the ventilation from this room)- her daughter was there and said yes it is rising damp not our problem so I asked our NDN to complete the paperwork and explained that the delay could mean our buyer could pull out.
She said no she didn't believe the plumber I had so she would organise her own. Which she did but she didn't let me know when he was coming so I was accousted as i was coming in the house from grocery shopping. Ia explained i wasnt expecting them and i wanted to get my shopping in first, the plumber went through the process of looking for a leak and he too came to the conclusion that it is not a leak. Again I asked her to complete the paperwork but she has out on the paperwork that we refuse to fix the leak!
Tonight at 9:15 I hear a knock at the door and a strange man and NDN were at the door and he said he was here to look at the leak. I was home alone with my DS and was actually getting ready for bed so was unprepared for a strange man to come in the house but after demanding ID from the man I let them in- surprise surprise no leak and a case of rising damp for her.
AIBU to tell NDN tomorrow that I will not let in any more plumbers without her being polite and informing me that they will be coming. Obviously I also want to tell her to give me the paperwork needed for the house sale but I feel that would be wasted breath!

YWNBU at all to say that.

I would also ask my solicitor to write her a letter about it, as this is ridiculous, and ask if you could sue her for your financial losses if the buyer pulls out.

YANBU and I would ask the plumber to write a report as well which you can show your buyer. What does the estate agent say? They could maybe put some pressure on or give some suggestions.

I have shown her the report from the plumber and given her a photocopy but still no avail. Her daughter is very apologetic but it appears as though NDN is fixed on the idea of a leak and won't let anyone tell her otherwise.
I have spoken to our solicitors (who could be useless) who have said there is not much we can do legal wise but I have still told her that I would look into everyway possible to sue her if our buyers pull out.
We haven't told the agents as we worry our buyers would get told and would pull out (as who would want to buy a place with such a problem).
I am ringing our solicitors this morning as we have paid the NDN solicitor £250 to try and come to a resolution and I asked our solicitors to chase them yesterday.
Arghhh determined now to sell our place and move ASAP as we just want to get away from our NDN

sorry What does NDN mean ?

Next door neighbour.

Bloody hell, how old is this cow woman?

Moving house is stressful enough without this. Do you need the freeholders consent to sell? If so, isn't there a duty not to unreasonably withhold it? I'm not a solicitor but there is usually a requirement to act reasonably in these cases. On what basis does your solicitor not think that there is anything you can do? No relelvant law or difficult and costly to enforce? If the latter a strongly worded letter from them about the law, pointing out the three plumbers view all agree (2 were her plumbers) may help and your possible causes of action may help. Could you send a copy to the daughter also, she may have more ammo then to persuade her mother to sign.

As a buyer if the NDN was a pain it would be a red flag to me and I would seriously rethink the purchase. However you do need to disclose any issues with neighbours on selling. Be careful how you phrase things in letters / discussions with her.

The agents are acting for you, you pay them, they may have dealt with something similar in the past and have some advice. You could consider speaking to a senior agent with the express instruction that the exact nature of the delay isn't disclosed to the seller. You will need them on side to keep the sale going and if it is delayed it may be better that they know and can help you out.

Is she generally obstructive or is the mould thing an excuse and there is actually another reason why she is doing this? She isn't behaving logically at all. I would really try not to get her back up, however annoying she is (and she is being really unreasonable) if you do she is going to stick her feet in and you won't sell. Try to remember the bigger picture and that you want to get out of there. DH is a solicitor, commercial disputes etc and he finds the best way to get a deal is to not back someone into a corner, give them choices and find a solution where everyone 'wins'. He is normally dealing with reasonable people though. Is there anyway that you could do this, offer something for redecorating the bathroom on a goodwill basis just to get her on side. You may save more on the sale not falling through. (I know it isn't your fault it may sweeten her up). Good luck.

Honestly? I would get a plumber in, give them £50 to do a bit of banging and wrenching (or whatever it is plumbers do) at a time you know she'll be home, then pop down with plumber and paperwork, tell her it's fixed and get her to sign on the spot.

Not the most honest approach, but she's clearly got an idea fixed in her head that you won't be able to shift so I'd try another 'approach'.

Oh, that is a great idea. ^^

The alternative is to tell her that should this sale fall through due to her unreasonable behaviour, you will make her sorry she was ever fucking born. This is easily achievable for an upstairs neighbour with a freehold. I speak as someone who has long suffered under the upstairs party animals with stripped floorboards and a herd of stampeding baby elephants - NOT a situation your neighbour would want to experience.

I'd try WeWilson's suggestion first before bringing out the big guns though.

No, don't accept responsibility, or she will insist you also have her bathroom replastered as it was caused by your (none existent) leak.
Hope you get it sorted soon, it isn't a good thing for your purchasers to find out she can be a royal pain in the ass

Thanks for the sympathy- the thing is we have had a good relationship up until now with us inviting her into our house when she had a falling out with her daughter and wanted someone to cry with. She is in her mid 60's but is old beyond her years if you see what I mean. She even cooked us a meal as a thank you for us being so kind to her in the summer.
When we completed the paperwork from our end regarding the sale we wrote that we had no problems with the neighbours or freeholders cause at that point we didn't. This has all happened in the las week. Our solicitor seems to be telling us that as the above is only conversations we have had with the NDN and no 'action' from either side has taken place that we aren't yet obliged to tell our buyer but I am conscious I don't want them having a problem either.
DH tells me not to do anything to aggravate the situation and the rational side of me agrees but I do feel furious. Before we moved in we sound proofed between her and us as we didn't want our noise to cause her problems (not that we are in the habit of being noisy), but yesterday she complained that my washing machine was making her flat noisy at 11:45 am (yes in the morning and it had only gone on at 10:30)
I feel she is so irrational that I worry that she has health problems contributing to her behaviour and therefore will be ver hard to resolve. Her daughter has gone all quiet in the last few days (which could be due to her being busy with her own family and Christmas) or could be a sign that things could get worse.

Maybe she is very anxious about having new neighbours. It sounds like she has got on well with you and she is probably worrying that she may not get on so well with the new neighbours.
Our previous flat was a ground floor one, with the upstairs one rented out. We lived there 5 years and had new neighbours nearly every year. Some were lovely, some were like positive pumpkins neighbours and were really noisy, banging around and playing music really loud in the middle of the night.
Perhaps if you reassure her that the buyers seem lovely people it might help? Good luck

Before we moved in we sound proofed between her and us as we didn't want our noise to cause her problems (not that we are in the habit of being noisy), but yesterday she complained that my washing machine was making her flat noisy at 11:45 am (yes in the morning and it had only gone on at 10:30)

Hmm. Perhaps you have been a bit too nice and now she thinks she can take the piss? It may be that she realises you have been good neighbours and she has genuine concerns about the new buyers of your flat? It can be hell living below noisy, inconsiderate neighbours and she may have experienced this before. She's not going the right way about dealing with these concerns though.

Looks like she may be noise sensitive. That is something you might be able to use as leverage if all other options are exhausted. Quiet hours are 11pm-7pm in most areas.

Er, 11pm-7 am.

Given you've had a good relationship with her to date, could you invite her for coffee/visit brandishing cake, and make an emotional appeal? Three plumbers have now said it's rising damp, what is your concern, it will cost us £x if this sale falls through, we won't get little jimmy into x school because we won't be in the catchment area yadda yadda yadda? Maybe try to rope in the daughter if you have a phone number for her?

Go and talk to her about it, ask what she wants you to do and see if you can come to an arrangement. Be super nice and understanding even if it is killing you and try to sort it out.

I was thinking I might leave it 24 hrs to allow me to calm down, give her a chance to think about what her latest plumber said last night and hopefully our solicitor would have heard from her solicitor by then.
Whilst I think we have been good neighbours I don't think we have been amazing and I have already told her about the buyers being a young friendly couple.
We gave learnt our lesson- we will never buy leasehold again!

Oh god she sounds like a fucking unreason able cow.

No advice other than I hope it gets sorted, and if not maybe there will be the possibility of starting legal proceedings if buyers pulled out due to unreasonably withholding consent.

I would keep a record of all your conversations and interaction about this issue.

Well she almost tipped me over the edge at 5 tonight when she complained that my DS who is 10months was making too much noise in his jolly jumper- despite the fact that he has been using it for 5 months with no complaint and having him in it for a short time this afternoon prompted her to yell at me when I opened the door that my DS was making too much noise and she would call the council- she then started to close her door and I must admit that I did the childish thing and said good call the council I don't think they wild have a problem with a baby in a toy (I did immediately take him out of the jumper though).
Turns out her solicitor has now given the info needed to our solicitor but the NDN has stated that we have a leak and refuse to get it fixed.
We have informed our solicitor of it all and sent him a copy of the plumbers report we have and have asked the NDN daughter to write stating there is no leak- but if our buyers buy this now I will be very surprised!!