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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friend thinks I am a bad mother for letting my dd8 watch 'Grave of the Fireflies' because she cried.

57 replies

aroyalewithcheese · 19/12/2012 21:45

Yes it's a terribly sad film.

But I also think its good for a child to understand the consequences of war and it is a cartoon for children.

OP posts:
TeamBacon · 19/12/2012 23:38

Fair enough :)

OP - whatever you do don't show her Pom Polo - I still have nightmares about that Wink Shock

TeamBacon · 19/12/2012 23:39

Argh, pom poko! Fecking autocorrect.

BananaBubbles · 19/12/2012 23:41

LOL.I was just about to say that I agree that the majority of SG is suitable for children,but that a viewing of Pom Poko is likely to result in the OP having to answer some very difficult questions.

TeamBacon · 19/12/2012 23:47

Haha..

Scarred for life, I am!

thebody · 19/12/2012 23:51

Never heard of it..

Family video night and it was Jurassic park!

Ds 1 still scared of raptors( we do the noise to freak him out as a laugh) he's 23!!

louisianablue2000 · 19/12/2012 23:52

Haven't seen the film so can't comment on that but can say that Tree Fu Tom has made my five year old cry so if letting a child watch something that makes them cry makes you a bad mum then so am I.

FWIW I'm not sure I'd let a child watch a film with an age rating that is higher than their age (after all children do grow up to an appropriate age eventually but telling a RL friend that she is a bad mother because she made a decision that might not have been the wisest thing is a bit over the top, when did she get so perfect. I'd ditch the friend.

SamSmalaidh · 19/12/2012 23:55

I haven't seen it either, but the subject matter/scenes described sound like a lot for an 8 year old to take on to me.

nametakenagain · 20/12/2012 00:07

YABU . By exposing little ones to violence and misery it desensitises them, and the consequences of that are unpleasant.

lurkedtoolong · 20/12/2012 01:09

I've not seen the film, from what's said here I'm not sure that it's suitable for an 8 year old BUT to have a disagreement about whether showing a film to your DD and discuss the context is sensible or not is one thing. To use highly emotive phrases like "bad mother" is something completely different.

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:03

Those who haven't seen it - its one of the more traumatic films I've seen, and I cried for a long time when it had finished. Just because it's a cartoon does not make it suitable for children.

Zimbah · 20/12/2012 08:09

It's a very sad and distressing film, not suitable for an 8 year old. I don't think the problem is that she cried, it's that the film is too old for her, even if she hadn't cried she shouldn't have watched it. I admit I'm a wuss but I stopped watching it before the end because it was so upsetting and also way past my bedtime

TeamBacon what's wrong with Pom Poko? I haven't seen that one.

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:12

Zimbah - Look at this picture

Try and work out what their furry parachutes are made of.

McPheastOfStephen · 20/12/2012 08:14

I fail to understand why someone would even want to expose their child to the above?

The mind boggles..odd, most odd.

misterwife · 20/12/2012 08:16

This depends on the 8-year-old. If I thought my (putative, as she's 2 months away from being born at the minute) 8-year-old would benefit from seeing such a powerful anti-war film, then I'd have no qualms about a viewing. But if I felt she wasn't intellectually ready for it, then I wouldn't do it. And the overwhelming likelihood is she won't be ready for it.

But, of course, she might be. Some 8-year-olds have very acute social consciences.

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:22

I don't think most people would even consider showing this to a primary school age child if it was a live action film, rather than animation.

Zimbah · 20/12/2012 08:32

I'm not sure I like the look of those hairy parachutes Shock. They seem very, um, versatile.

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:35

Hmmm yes. Who knew you a scrotum could be pulled over your head so you can fly. Hmm Grin

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:36

who knew you?? Confused

Oops. I am NOT accusing you of pulling your scrotum over your head! Grin

PrincessMononoke · 20/12/2012 08:37

I watched it with DP and sobbed, my dc are only 2 so I don't really know what 8 year olds are like, it's a great film though, as you can tell I love SG.

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:39

Princess :)

I tried to register with that name.. now I know why it failed Wink Grin

PrincessMononoke · 20/12/2012 08:39

SorryGrin

TeamBacon · 20/12/2012 08:42

It's OK, I have another Ghibli one

Lonecatwithkitten · 20/12/2012 08:49

I agree with Misterwife it really depends on the child. There are very mature 8 year olds for whom it maybe appropriate and there are others for whom it may not be.
My 8 year visited at Anne Frank's house at the age if 6 she fully appreciates what Anne went through including her death. She is aware of the horrors of war, but she is not frightened by it. She has seen some of schindler's list (selected scenes) to help her understand about the Ghettos and the concentration camps. All of this has been done under close parental supervision.

CaseyShraeger · 20/12/2012 09:13

It isn't a cartoon for children so YABU if that is the basis of your argument.

But it's not necessarily bad to show a child something that makes them cry, so YANBU in that.

But I don't think most 8 year olds would be emotionally ready to watch GotF (I know mine would be in for weeks of nightmares and would kick off a spiral of existential doubt and brooding that would last for months), so YABU to an extent.

But I think there probably are 8 year olds who could watch it and benefit from doing so. If you have one of those then YANBU to let her watch it.

gingerchick · 20/12/2012 09:48

8 year olds watching Schindlers list I've heard it all now! I try and shield my children from the horrors of this world and keep their innocence as long as possible, an 8 year old does not need to know about all the horrid things that happen in the world. I certainly wish I didn't know all the horrors of the world and I am 32