to refuse a job offer

[englishbreakfast]

I'm struggling with a dilemma, a little bit long...

My previous boss (former MD of my company) has got a new job and has asked me to come to work in the new company. His new boss and him have a need for someone to come and do what I did a year ago, but I have since moved into a slightly different role. I used to manage a team in my previous role but don't anymore, but the new role is broader and has more client responsibilities and long term career progression prospects. The role he wants me for is a hybrid of what I used to do and what I'm doing now. The base salary they are offering me is better but commission prospects are less so the total package is going to be similar or a little bit better, but not significantly. They are also saying that I will have better career prospects in the new company (as it's smaller and more flexible), but as I see it, these things cannot be guaranteed.

I have a lot of respect for my former boss and would be very happy working with him again, however I am not that keen on the part of the role where I'll be doing what I used to do before (probably 60% of the time in the first 6 - 9 months), and this will take me away from my current responsibilities which I'm enjoying very much. I also currently work from home 2 days a week, but the CEO of the new company is not that keen as wants me to be there and visible with the teams, but said he might agree me doing 1 day. Also, the working hours are longer.

So my dilemma is, do I go for a job where I'm not entirely happy with current responsibilities but might (!) progress quicker to a role which I will enjoy and will potentially help me get to my goal quicker (again, no guarantees), but will loose my work life balance, or do I tell them no? I've been with my current company for 10 years and have been promoted several time. I also have a 21 months old DD.

My DH and friends are telling me to trust my gut which is saying no, but I would welcome your opinions as it'd be good to get some external perspective.

Personally I'd stay put. I went and worked for a small co, went bust and was not paid.

I think you may have answered your own question. If you don't think instantly yes, I'd say no.

That feeling in your gut can sometimes be fear...

What you should do is go for the new role, and NOT lose your work/life balance.
You have worked hard to get to the point where you are able to work from home sometimes, this new company obvs value you, and want you.
You have been with the old job 10 years, and will be comfy there, but 10 years is a good long time, and maybe it's time for a change?

I think it can be helpful sometimes to think "what would I do if I were a man?"
Here is what I would do if I were a man:

I would tell the new company that I would LOVE to come aboard, I really want to, but I can't unless;
I work from home one day a week
I don't exceed x number of hours (e.g not more than you are doing now)
And while I am at it I may as well ask for more money!
As Gandhi said, if you don't ask, you don't get.
(He did, honest!)

Don't tell them this in an apologetic, hand wringy way. They want you, you have conditions. If they can't meet them, fine, you stay where you are. Nothing lost.

Also, is it possible to have some kind of assurance about the career progression thing? You need that too, I think, rather than vagueness.

Good Luck, and congratulations on being in demand!

Thank you, that's what I'm thinking. It's just that I'm concerned that maybe I'm being overcautious after being with one company for such a long time and sort of finding going into a bit of unknown is a little scary. Plus, I'm the main breadwinner in the family, DH is SAHD, so I'm worried about making the wrong decision and taking a risk if things don't work out...

thank youIfNotNowThenWenceslas, I think we cross posted. I agree that the gut feeling might be fear of the new and unknown and the uncertainty. I'm quite a reserved and risk averse person so am finding the situation tricky to resolve in my mind as I don't want to miss a job which may genuinely be a good opportunity but will require a leap of faith on my part. I think if my DH wasn't SAHD, it'd be easier as we'd have more financial security, whereas when it's just me working, it's a lot of responsibility and I have to do right by my family....