to enjoy being a SAHM so much?

[Theicingontop]

Surely if I'm loving every second of it, I'm doing something wrong.

I love cleaning.
I love cooking.
I love waking up at 6am (as opposed to getting in from work at 6am!).
I love sitting in my pajamas watching Eastenders.

Am I a despicable affront to feminism?

What's not to love?! It's no stress, playing, having fun, endless interaction, love, and just e sheer of joy of seeing a whole new person discovering the world for the first time. I love every single second of it - and wish I did it full time.

I work two days a week, but that is only because I have seen too many women give up work for their children, and then find a few years down the line that they'd struggle hugely to find any professional role. A friend of mine gave up work for 6 years. She has two degrees, in vocational subjects, pre-children work experience - and is now working in a non professional job, doing shifts which is something that she never wanted. She now gets very little time with her dcs because of her shift pattern. I don't want to have my choices and potential limited in that way, so part time working keeps my hand in for when I want to work full time when DS is older.

So my heart is a SAHM, and my head is a WOHM I guess!

I definitely agree fenix, I think it's important to realise you'll need to get back to work eventually. I plan on doing that as a professional baker rather than a hobbying cake maker

I love it too :)

I used to work as a senior marketing manager but now going back to that would seem like a pointless waste of time.... I'd rather be poorer and spend all my time with dc.

Completely agree feenix. Its really depressing to read threads from mummy martyrs who claim that staying at home is the hardest job in the world. How refreshing to hear from someone who loves every second. It wouldn't suit me personally; I found part time working the perfect balance until my kids started school, but if you work out the finances carefully (not just the immediate ones but long term pensions etc) and have a secure plan for getting back to work later on, then no problem.

I love it, have been a sahm since i had ds1 who.is 13 apart from a year when he was a toddler when i was finishing my degree.

My youngest is just two and i will be sad when my sahm days are over tbh!

I dint always love the cleaning but i love being with my children and having the freedom to manage my time etc :)

Six years and still loving it, to be fair I have done a college course every year since having my three babies and done some volunteer work, hoping this helps me get a job when my youngest starts school!

I am the same i love being at home with my DDs, keeping house clean (obsessivly), baking, playing and also i get to stay in pjs if i want to all day

Totally understand not everyones does though

my only hate is some of the rubbish on ceebeebies

peachypips I can't/don't play unless I feel energetic enough. The little feckers loves don't sleep well at the best of times, and I have some health problems to boot. So I only play on days when I feel up to it. I do send DC2 to childcare some days so he gets to play there. I do feel sad about it though. DH makes it look easy!

I loved being a 'SAHM'. It was planned that we would have children so that I could be at home with them. They're now 24 and 22 and I'm happy that I had that time with them. You never get that back. I loved it and don't really see what's so bad about spending time with your children. I honestly think they were the happiest times. I'm not looking through rose-tinted glasses. I've had many bad nights, vomit all over me etc. but that's just normal if you have babies.
In my day we 'ad it tough and 'me-time' wasn't invented.

I work very part time but I've mainly been a SAHM for two years, and I have to say I love it too, far more than any job I've ever had (and I've had quite a few!). I'm not a fan of cleaning but I keep on top of it easily enough and I love going places with DS and being my own boss. It does have its downsides and some days aren't great but overall it's been a great experience. I have a second on the way in February so I might feel differently after that, who knows? But for the time being I think it's great.

Annakin, I don't have any family support but I do have quite a strict routine that involves getting out and about every single day. Without that I think I would find it a lot lot harder. I have adult company every day and I treat myself (and DS) to a nice lunch every Thursday. The week has structure and flow and goes quite quickly. I do appreciate that I might find it just as hard when I'm your position in 8 months time though - with one pretty easy going toddler it's all quite straightforward!

I've loved it too, although I've never been completely a Sahm. I love doing stuff around the house, being able to do what I like with my time, and being around to help out busier parents. Dd has been able to have little mates round after school or play in the park till all hours. I've never missed work and accept that I'm completely unemployable but wouldn't change anything. I just feel so lucky!

It does make a big difference to have a quiet child, definitely. DS will sit with me in a cafe and have lunch like a little gentleman - we'll chat and and eat and then go for a stroll afterwards - very civilised! Much as I'm thrilled about DC2 coming along I'm sure I'll miss the days DS and I have together now, he really is good company.

Hmm - I quite like it, don't find it hard work but I set the bar pretty low (just like when I was at work really! ). I get out of the house every day, ideally have some adult interaction (I'm very lucky to have retired parents nearby). We do toddler groups, classes etc.

Toddlers can be hard work yes,but I'd find it much harder if I was dealing with bedtime meltdowns after a long day in the office.

I admit I'm sticking my head in the sand re. future career/ earnings/ pensions.

I don't have any family I'd feel comfortable to trust with childcare, we're not a babysitting type of family, we visit for no more than an hour a week and leave before we start arguing

I agree with the getting out every day bit, if I was confined to indoors I'd go mad. DS is quiet too, is that why I'm loving it? If I had a raging tantrum machine would I be clawing at the walls??

Being a single parent, I've never had a choice but to work but even if I had a dp I don't think I could stay at home all day. I enjoy adult company too much. Fair play if you do like staying at home with kids, it's purely personal choice, nothing wrong with it.

I'm seeing that it depends more on the child than the parent . DD is a crazy ball of energy, running all the time, won't sit still, bolter, climber, jumper. I can't sit in a cafe, I can't go shopping for any length of time. She is great but ON all the time. We also have no family support so it is hard. Fun but hard.

I don't like this new trend of scare mongering re going back to work. It is completely negative and unhelpful and bloody patronising too. Do you realise how bad you are making some people feel who are about to start looking for work. I felt ok till I started reading these new threads and now I feel terribly anxious. Please stop wagging your fingers at sahms and saying effectively "we'll if you must have your fun be prepared to suffer later"

Staying at home with your kids is not a great gatsby hedonistic lifestyle choice, it is a very real choice about doing what you feel is the right thing for your children. If employers can't recognise the worth of women who have done this then we should seek to challenge societal opinion not take away a mother's choice. Feminism fought for choice but we clearly have a long way to go

Ooh baby CalinDana? Congratulations :)

I'm with Fenix - I can see the attraction of being a SAHM. I do get a bit fed up of martyrs whinging about how it's the hardest job in the world and they never get to go to the loo in peace.

It's refreshing to hear people admitting that they enjoy it

Being a SAHM to a baby and very demanding, clingy, whiny toddler was horrendous for me.

Fast forward a couple of years, it's a doddle and I love it! DD(5), who is now an absolute delight, is in full time school, DS(4) in nursery and I love the freedom of managing my own time, no childcare worries, and of course spending so much time with my DCs. It doesn't make me a better mother, and of course there are downsides, but overall it's great.

FabulousFreaks, feminism fights for equality, which has the knock on effect of creating choices for both genders. This of course leads to heated discussions because not all choices are good choices, and not all choices are made truly freely, due to the prevailing political/historical/regional/cultural context.

One person might find being a SAHP a walk in the park, others will face additional challenges and struggle in the role. It seems to me that most people here are just sharing their experiences, not criticising your personal decision.

What you see as scaremongering, others see as a useful advice from people who have walked that path before. It would be doing us all a great disservice to gloss over the challenges of returning to work after a long absence. It does no harm at all for you to listen to other's experiences. Either it's not relevant to you, so you can carry on happily. Or it is, and you can put plans in place now to assist you with a smooth transition later.