DH didnt ask about poorly DS, instead went for a beer

[1happylife]

So, our 5 month DS has a cough/cold since Friday and on Monday night was up a lot coughing (about 8 times), crying, taking ages to settle. DH left for work on Tuesday while I was asleep. On Tuesday I took DS to the doctors to get prescribed medication and DS spent a lot of Tuesday very upset, etc. At 6pm I get a text from DH saying he's going out for a beer. Didnt ask how I was, nor our baby, so I rang him and was cross. He said he didnt hear our baby (he's on medication which knocks him out) and said that it was my fault for not calling him and telling him that I'd had a rough day/night. I said I'm annoyed that he knew that DS was sick (he didnt realise how bad) but still didnt bother to ask and announced he was going for a beer. Some how he is turning this around and making out that I'm being unreasonable (which I'm dening), what do you think?

I think you're understandably stressed and not thinking straight.

The baby's got a cold, you DH missed witnessing most of the symptoms and the kerfuffle surrounding it...so he forgot to ask.

I don't think it's worth falling out over.

Its only a cold...

Choose your battles. This isn't worth it. He should have asked yes, but he has not had his sick DS in front of him to remind him iyswim. You've had a tough night and day and no doubt you're tired and worried. Understandably you have snapped at DH when he has failed to notice (due ro medication and work) what difficult time you and DS are having.

Just ask him nicely if he could make it a really quick beer because you need a break / DS needs a cuddle from his daddy.

YABU I'm afraid, he had no way of knowing how sick the child was so his behaviour was entirely appropriate.

This is one of those rows where you end up having to apologise for being unreasonable- I always blame tierdness!!

He didnt realsie how ill ds was, yes he should have asked and no, he shouldnt be going for a beer, but when you are at work all day you dont realise what is going on at home and sometimes forget what was happening when you left in the morning !!

If he didn't realise how bad your DS was, and didn't realise you'd had a bad night - do you honestly expect him to do something about something he didn't know about?

I realise you are stressed, but please be reasonable.

I get where you are coming from but yabu.

the baby has a cold, which is shit. but unless he had seen him (which he didn't) he may not have realised how bad it was.

The reasonable thing to do would be to have said 'ds is ill and I would prefer if you could come home and help. Its been a really shit day'.

You are tired, concerned about your DSand stressed by thefactyou can't wave a wand and make him better. Your DPhas possibly been a little insensitive by not noticing whats going on around him. Now he knows, is he home?

When he is, have a hot bath or snuggle under a duvet on the sofa for a few hours and let him do a shift rather than fall out.

YABU - sorry.

Let it go.

Thanks so much for all your posts, yes, I'm tired and cranky! Coupled with the terrible weather, being couped up with and sick unhappy baby doesnt make it any better. Dh is normally home after 7:30pm, so once he's back baby is asleep, dinner cooked and the house is tidied, so I cracked it last night, when he didnt ask (or even call) about us. I just dont think he has any idea what its like. I will apologise for over reacting.