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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to participate in the work Secret Santa?

15 replies

Fraggleface · 19/12/2012 15:08

As above really. I think the presents are going to be dished out at the work drinks this weekend. Also AIBU to not want to attend these? I have done all the work socialising in the past and now I'd rather sit at home with DP, the Ddogs and a box of chocs/bottle of wine.

Am I being too antisocial/miserable?

OP posts:

lannyshrops · 19/12/2012 15:17

Nope! I haven't been to works do's or taken part in secret Santa for a few years, partly because I am the boss and partly because I don't want to! I'm not harming anyone by not taking part, it's not like I am grinch like and bah humbug everything. Work is work, not a social life! YANBU

Crinkle77 · 19/12/2012 15:26

I decided not to join in the secret santa for the first time this year and then other people followed suit. Usually you will find that a lot of people feel like they can't be bothered but don't want to say.

Lottapianos · 19/12/2012 15:27

YANBU. Don't get involved if you don't want to. I didn't do Secret Santa or go to the work do this year and am much happier for it. Xmas is not for everybody!

Atthewelles · 19/12/2012 15:29

I agreed to go to work do this year, and have now discovered nearly everyone is bringing their bloody cars.

So basically we're going to a mediocre restaurant to eat dinner at 5pm with a glass of fizzy orange and then presumably straight home.

ChristmasJubilee · 19/12/2012 15:33

I do the Secret Santa because I don't go to the Christmas party. It is the lesser of the two evils and they all think I am a miserable sod anyway

susanann · 19/12/2012 15:48

You could just do the secret santa and say youre busy when the party is being held. Or go and then after an hour or so become "unwell"

Meandmycats · 19/12/2012 15:56

How much do you have to spend for the Secret Santa? Ours was £1 so I did think the people who didn't join in were a little bit miserable not to join in with that.

zlist · 19/12/2012 16:01

YANBU - just don't do it. I don't. No one has ever suggested I am miserable, and now it is accepted that I don't do it. They know that it is nothing to do with money as I am generous with other things. I'm just not really that into Christmas and I want to save the tiny amount of enthusiasm I have for the DC.

ByTheWay1 · 19/12/2012 16:08

I am another who just says no.... I would rather not spend my precious free time drinking with a whole host of folks I just about get along with because I work with them... free time is for friends and family, not work colleagues who I see every bleedin' day....

Original poster

Fraggleface · 19/12/2012 23:35

Thanks for all your replies. The annoying thing in I was never asked if I wanted to join in, so by the time I know it's happening, half the people have already picked names out. It's only a fiver and I suppose it might earn me some goodwill but I'll definitely be opting out for next year...

OP posts:

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast · 19/12/2012 23:40

If you have the time, energy, and money it may be worth it for the goodwill factor ? Shouldn't be compulsory though

ThisIsMummyPig · 19/12/2012 23:44

I I run ou SS. Out of a team of 15, only 1 doesn't take part. TBH we are all quite glad as he is difficult to buy for.

It certainly doesn't affect our opinion of him

Jinsei · 19/12/2012 23:44

I am the boss in our office and always insist on having our official Christmas "do" at lunchtime, as I don't think it's fair to expect people to give up their free time and I would rather spend an evening at home anyway. If others wish to go out for the evening, then that's for them to decide.

We don't do a secret Santa either. Someone wanted to do it a couple of years ago, so we invited people to opt in. A handful did it, but most couldn't be arsed so nobody tried to organise one again! People have enough to think about at Christmas without the extra hassle!

BackforGood · 19/12/2012 23:51

I've worked with people who don't join in the Secret Santa. It's never been an issue, and never think about it at all throughout the year, only to remember to check before putting people's names in the next year. It's no big deal.

zipzap · 19/12/2012 23:56

What would happen if you just said 'No, I haven't said I'm joining in with that this year, especially as I'm not going to the christmas do, please make sure nobody gets my name'.

OK so they assumed that everyone would join in. doesn't mean they are right. You can assume that you are not in it as you haven't told them that you are opting in to it. Tell them and they'll have to go through and check your name hasn't been and won't be one of the names. Becomes their problem rather than yours and then maybe next year they'll remember to ask before people start to pull names!

If you do end up having to do it - and can't be bothered to go shopping but can be bothered to spend £5 on it you could do one of the following quite easily...

5 pound note origami - fold a £5 note into a funny shape, put it in a little box or attach to a card carefully so it can be easily removed

Make a money christmas tree - draw a very simple christmas tree onto a card and get assorted coins worth a total of £5, and stick them on, draw little loops on top to make them look like baubles on a tree.

Can't imagine anyone would be upset to get money when they could have had a pair of santa socks or willy pasta or any of the other horrors that have been given in the name of secret santa!

If you do want to give something and need it quickly, try these people on ebay - novelty stationary - they sell memo pads shaped like 3d fruit or iphones or large dollar bills. Think they do fairly rapid delivery if you ask. Lots of other sellers online do them to, they cost approx £1-1.50 for the fruit and £1.50-£3 for the ipad notepads or dollar bill pads...

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