To think it was a bit rude

[WorkingtoohardMama]

This is my first thread so bear with me. . .

My dd 2.10 goes to the local play school twice a week; her key worker has a daughter in my ds's class.

My dd gets very excited when she see her, and the key worker woman always ignores her.

Now I know she isn't at work, and might want to keep work/home separate, but when it suits her she'll speak to me - last week at school she told me that she was writing dd's report and asked if she is able to walk up stairs on her own.

Today we were walking towards her and dd said "there's my friend from play school" and I said hello and she didn't even acknowledge us! This is very normal!

I'm not bothered that she ignores me, but to ignore a child, and you'd think she'd want to make a good impression on me and be friendly; and if she ignores her in the street, what is she like with her at play school?

Would you say something, or as dd is happy at play school just accept that this woman doesn't go in for niceties and lower my expectations??

She probably had a million and one things on her mind like Xmas shopping and just didn't see/hear you.

Surely you're not saying that your DD approaches her, says a clear 'Hello' and the woman cuts her dead are you?

I'm afraid I am, she literally ignores us every time we see her

Is she actually, definitely snubbing her? If so, you need to have a word. But be sure this is the case first.

she ignores your dd??

It does seem rude but maybe she just isn't wanting kids coming up to her when she isn't at work???

My DS's teacher told them he has a twin brother and so if they see him when they are out and he doesn't say hello then it must be his twin. Whether this is true I have no idea but.......

As long as the key worker is nice to her nursery then don't give it another thought. Personally I wouldn't mention it.

I would be tempted to tap her on the arm and say "Dd would like to say hello!" and she what she says then.

If she is moody even then, then I'd be wondering what the hell she's like with dd when I am not there!

I am worried about saying something in case it isn't a definite snub and maybe just shyness, but honestly my dd, who speaks very clearly can say hello key worker and she will not acknowledge.

I was thinking that I might say something like "dd gets so excited when she sees you, it's such a relief when your children like their key worker, so much easier to leave them when their happy blah blah blah" and see what she says??

• they're happy!!

hmmm.
i don't like adults from work thinking they have 'rights' to my attention when i'm elsewhere.
but the children do. in fact, long after they leave us at sixteen, if i cut one dead i'd be mortified.
the adults can understand about private time and head space. the children would just think you don't care about them. so i think she's being unprofessional.

My neighbour stopped me in the street once to ask me why I blanked him every time he said hello to me.

I honestly honestly just don't see/hear people when I'm going somewhere. It might be completely unintentional. The only way to know is to ask.

I wouldn't be happy about anyone blanking my child when they said hello, but someone who wroks with, and is responsible for them when I'm not there, would be totally unacceptable. Next time, I'd be tempted to say'key worker? she said hello!!'?? Then you will know if it was intentional or not.

I've inadvertently blanked people in the past becuase I do walk about with a head full of other stuff (nothing exciting ot significant, sadly). It's always a genuine mistake.

I would bring it up, definitely - it may well be that it's genuinely not intentional, but if it is then she needs to change her attitude.

Does she have prosopagnosia? It far more common than you would think.

she may not be recognising you out of context, I have face blindness, so I don't recognise people, it can appear rude.

I have face blindness too and am a teacher. It has produced awkward (and comedy) moments over the years!

Hadn't even thought of face blindness, feel a bit rude now just in case she has; I think next time it happens I will just say "morning key worker, dd wanted to say hello" and take it from there!

Thanks for all the advice x