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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about a strangers welfare

19 replies

Pickles77 · 18/12/2012 14:26

I'm posting here due to traffic.
I walk my dog every day around 1pm to get DD off for her nap.
I've been going a new route around the area we live for a few days.
I've walked past a house with broken windows and a boarded up door, what could be such a lovely house.
It's so deralict you'd assume it is empty. Both houses on either side are lovely, well maintained.
Today as I was walking past I saw someone getting out of a rather old battererd car, a old gentleman.
He walked to the door of the house and entered, with a key.
What's concerned me is the man had very threadbare clothes, and carrier plastic bags tied on his feet and hands, to keep them dry, he looked to have no shoes on.

Well I'm really concerned about his welfare. Do I do something? Or am I a nosy busy body? It's really really weighing on my mind. It's cold, winters such a lonely time of year Hmm

OP posts:
Bearandcub · 18/12/2012 14:28

You could knock with a hamper of food and some clothes or just an offer of help.

RyleDup · 18/12/2012 14:28

Yes, I'd ring SSD. He might not want help but it sounds as though he needs it.

Pootles2010 · 18/12/2012 14:28

Poor old chap Sad I guess someone'll come along who knows better than me, but i'd talk to social services. I'd imagine if he doesn't want help they can't make him, but they can at least ask? Or alternatively, call age concern and ask for advice?

Dawndonna · 18/12/2012 14:28

If he has a key, it's quite probably his house. He's probably frightened that he'll lose his independence if he asks for help. I don't know what the best answer is but perhaps a flask of homemade soup may be an icebreaker?

Sirzy · 18/12/2012 14:29

I would give social service a call to raise your concerns.

stubbornstains · 18/12/2012 14:30

I would start leaving things on the doorstep (food, clothes etc.).

phantomnamechanger · 18/12/2012 14:31

how sad. Yes you should try to report it to someone in authority - SS or even a local policeman, to check up on him

was he actually driving a car though with just bags on his hands and feet - that's not safe for starters!!

can you make an excuse to knock and speak to him, or offer a small gift?
Very tough!

Original poster
Pickles77 · 18/12/2012 14:34

Thank you for the speedy replies. I just feel so sad. I'm going to call SS, I'd like to remain anonymous.
And shall leave some soup too

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 18/12/2012 14:48

Pickles - do you have a local salvation army or church that do a christmas day dinner for lonely old folks? You could maybe tip them off about him?

WorraLorraTurkey · 18/12/2012 14:51

Yes I'd call SS.

But is it just me who thinks it's quite bizzarre that he lives like that, yet drives a car?

How does he manage to tax and insure it I wonder? Let alone fill it with petrol? Confused

Bakingnovice · 18/12/2012 14:54

Maybe go over for a chat? There are a great many elderly people who struggle with the cold and loneliness at this time of year. Such a sad story. I'm not surprised you've been worried.

Original poster
Pickles77 · 18/12/2012 14:54

That concerned me too about the car...

OP posts:
stubbornstains · 18/12/2012 14:57

He probably has mental health issues worra. I think I've heard of cases before where people dress in rags, hoard rubbish or push stuff round in shopping trolleys, yet are found to not be financially destitute.

That's also why I suggested leaving stuff on the doorstep- in case he is reclusive and terrified of people.

Original poster
Pickles77 · 18/12/2012 14:57

I'd like to remain anonymous. I find old people to be very proud people, I'd be very upset if I actually accidentally managed to cause offence

OP posts:
AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow · 18/12/2012 14:58

His broken windows are not safe, let alone warm, don't know how he's kept under the radar, but you need to alert ss to him, poor old boy :(

WorraLorraTurkey · 18/12/2012 14:59

Ahh that's a point stubborn and also covering the hands to keep them dry is quite unusual so maybe he has some sort of compulsive disorder.

OP, you could perhaps knock on one of his neighbour's doors and inquire about him?

BrianCoxIsAChristmasPud · 18/12/2012 15:17

There is a similar house that I go past daily to get to work.

I raised concerns at the state of the house to an acquaintance who works in health care (it was coincidence, the subject came up - similar to this thread and we started chatting) When I mentioned the area it turned out that she knew of this house and the elderly gentleman living there.

Basically (and without giving me too many details) she said that SS were aware/involved and had tried to give him assistance but he had refused all help Sad

This man has plastic covering the broken windows and it breaks my heart to see the state he lives in.

Definitely worth you giving SS a call, because what if nobody has tried to help and he would gratefully accept help, but not know how to access it. Just don't be surprised if he doesn't want help.

Original poster
Pickles77 · 18/12/2012 15:37

I've made my mind up. I'm going to do something, I can't not.
Just spoke to my mother about it abd we both agree the area could be full if people knowing and assuming others are doing something

OP posts:
Monty27 · 18/12/2012 15:45

Don't know if anyone else has suggested, but would you speak to his neighbours?

It's so sad.

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