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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy another wedding ring?

19 replies

fosterdream · 18/12/2012 13:26

I have two custom made wedding ring but can wear two wedding rings strange shaped engagement ring but only one is my wedding ring put on at the service. So would I be unreasonable to replace to none wedding ring.

I have found a a stunning ring that fits and I have fallen in love with it.

I have to go out now but will be back in a few hours.

OP posts:
2rebecca · 18/12/2012 13:33

It wouldn't be a wedding ring if you bought it now, it would just be a ring. No problem in buying another ring but not sure why you want to say it's a wedding ring when it isn't and you already have a wedding ring ?have two the wording of your post is confusing.
I never got an engagement ring as I'm not a ring fan but if I decided to get a ring now and wear it next to my wedding ring it wouldn't be an engagement ring as I'm not engaged but several years married, just a ring I choose to wear on that finger.

Hemlet · 18/12/2012 13:34

Huh??

Fishlaar · 18/12/2012 13:59

Go for it. Xmas Smile

I've been married for nearly thirty years and a few years back lost loads of weight so my original wedding ring no longer fit. It couldn't be resized so I started wearing an old family one. Then I put some weight back on and ended up with another new one...and then another. Xmas Grin

Anyway even though I was sad to no longer wear my original one it doesn't bother me now as my marriage is all about the relationship between me and my DH and naff all to do with what ring I wear.

Allonsy · 18/12/2012 14:12

Why not, dh's wedding ring needs replaced as hes lost alot of weight and it cant be resized, it will still be his wedding ring

Mrsrudolphduvall · 18/12/2012 14:14

I lost my wedding ring a few months ago..somewhere in the house.

Don't have an engagement ring. Maybe I should get something big and sparkly!

MaxPepsi · 18/12/2012 14:17

You want to replace your wedding and engagement rings with another one becuase you've seen a nicer ring?

Why not just wear it on your other hand?

If you've lost weight, lost it, had it stolen etc I can see why you'd get a 'new' wedding ring. For any other reason it's just a ring you want to wear on that hand, not a wedding ring.

fosterdream · 18/12/2012 15:53

Hi I'm back now.

Just to clear things up I had two custom rings made to fit around my engagement ring, only one was given at the service and the other one I put on the day after but part of my wedding ring set we bought.

I have found a ring that fits around my engagement ring that is a very strange shape it has the same shaped stones as my engagement ring and I just love it! So this ring would replace my other 'wedding' ring so the ring given to me at the service would still be on.

So would I be unreasonable to replace it with the new one its secondhand?

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 18/12/2012 16:09

I say yanbu. Buy the new lovely ring and enjoy!

Ephiny · 18/12/2012 16:28

I don't see the problem. I bought myself a cheap (£20) ring for the ceremony because I've never really worn rings/jewellery and wasn't sure if I was going to ever wear it afterwards, the idea being that if I do get in the habit of wearing a ring I can always buy a posher one in the future.

As it is the cheap one is perfectly fine so I haven't got around to replacing it. There's nothing mystical about it being The Ring that we used for the ceremony though.

valiumredhead · 18/12/2012 16:39

I have about 5 wedding rings I rotate on about a 6 monthly basis Grin

kiwigirl42 · 18/12/2012 17:04

I intend getting another wedding ring at some point. Mine is white gold and has gone all yellowy. Knew I should have pushed for the platinum ones!

valiumredhead · 18/12/2012 17:07

kiwi white gold needs replating - doesn't cost much at a jeweller's.

SarahWarahWoo · 18/12/2012 17:09

I would get new ring blessed then wear it as a wedding ring

2rebecca · 19/12/2012 09:39

Fine if you're religious but I had a civil ceremony and feel my wedding ring is about the commitment I made to my husand when he gave it to me and nothing to do with any gods.
I do find the idea of buying random rings you like after the wedding and pretending they are your wedding ring odd. Why not just have them as rings on another finger? If you lose one fine.

poshfrock · 19/12/2012 09:45

kiwi I have a white gold wedding ring and platinum engagment ring. The platinum one rubs against the white gold one and the plating wears away so the ring goes yellowy. I get the wedding ring replated every year for about £20 at the jewellers, but get your other rings cleaned at the same time otherwise the lovely shiney replated one will just make them look very dull.

valiumredhead · 19/12/2012 10:21

We've been together so long now, over 20 years, my tastes have changed, my original wedding ring and engagement ring are gold and I just don't really like gold anymore and wear silver all the time. They fit together as a set and the engagement ring is a bit 'proud' and catches on things all the time hence me wearing other rings.

Dh hardly wears his ring at all now as does lots of gardening and it leaves a callous on his finger.

Our marriage and commitment to each other are nothing to do with our rings.

2rebecca · 19/12/2012 13:17

True valium, but they are still your wedding and engagement rings, if you buy other rings they are just other rings, I don't see the need to pretend they are something they aren't. A wedding ring is a ring you get when you get married, ditto engagement ring.
It's like buying yourself a present in your 40s and pretending you got it for your 21st birthday because you prefer it to something you got for your 21st. I really don't get this need to pretend a new ring is your wedding ring thing, you have 7 other fingers to put it on.

Ephiny · 19/12/2012 13:49

To me a wedding ring is a ring you wear to symbolise being married, for me it doesn't have to be literally the same one used in the ceremony. There isn't one absolute definition, and it doesn't make sense IMO to project your feelings and values onto other people.

valiumredhead · 19/12/2012 15:28

But I don't want to wear it because of the reasons I gave above. Dh had bought my other rings so they still feel special and from him. I'm not pretending anything just wearing it on my wedding finger.

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