to be annoyed at my Mother for buying me a present?

[MistletoeAndTomHardyPlease]

When we agreed NO presents.

She was super skint this year, I'm not exactly rolling in it.

So I told her not to buy for me and I wont buy for her.

In fact all the adults agreed to this, so only presents for kids.

So now she tells me shes came into a bit of money so has bought me presents.

This is after she made me promise a few weeks ago that I wouldn't buy her a last minute present as it would make her feel crap if she recieved a present without buying one for me!

Well now I feel crap as I don't have the time of money to get her a nice gift, I'm not dragging my ill kids to the shops and I doubt anything online would get here in time now.

AIBU?

Yanbu to feel it's put you in an awkward spot, but why not just accept her "windfall" story and let her treat you?

Because I don't really care about recieving stuff, my joy at Christmas is giving gifts, so now I feel crap because when I do gifts I like to do lovely personal ones ... so now not only will i be recieving something and feeling bad about that but I'll have nothing to give in return.

The point is, her getting me a gift isn't going to make me happy, so whats the point.

I'm going to have to go online now and try and find something

Could you make something, sweets, biscuits that she would like and package them up in a pretty box?

Could you do a paint handprint of each of the little ones with their names and ages underneath and frame it for her. Or a nice framed photo of the kids. Better than money can buy!

Yanbu, I agree with the make something idea though,.i have a foolproof, child friendly recipe for making fudge if you want it? I make it for my family every year in luei of an expensive gift.

Tesco still have delivery slots.

Get the sick kids up to knock out some mince meat, or salt dough Christmas decorations, or similar.

Or just accept it graciously!!

Yes, I know, its just I usually get her perfumes, handbags, really nice stuff.

I do the handmade stuff, all the kids are getting 3 or 4 handmade items along with their presents.

Just TXT dh to get me some stuff, going to try and make chocolate truffles for her.

YANBU but this always happens when families make agreements about not buying gifts/imposing spending limits. Some one always just does their own thing and everyone feels bad.

In that case ISWYM and it is a bit of a rush but I think chocolate truffles will be wonderful,

At the risk of being an utter killjoy "There's a recession on" and lots of people are cutting back, and you tried planning ahead to avoid this, so yanbu. But perhaps you inherited that nice feeling you get from giving from your DM? Just a thought.

do you know what - unless there's a history I'd take her at her word and assume she wants to give and not receive.

She doesn't give to receive....you are her daughter, she loves you, she came into money and so she bought you a gift.

Just accept it in good grace muttering the usual "you shoudn't have" :)

You get pleasure out of giving not receiving, and so does your Mum! Just let her have the pleasure of seeing you open something and be pleased about it. she's not doing it to get something back.

The last couple of years I had a kids only arrangement with some family members and they ended up getting little bits for us "so we had something to open" and I felt it Mae me feel awkward for not getting them anything so this year I didn't even mentiothe kids only thing and bought for everyone.

I can fully understand how this makes you feel, but, I assume your mum is trying to do something nice, even if it has backfired, so I would accept the gift in the spirit it was praumably intended and, if you have time, make something as a nice gift. I have a recipi I can recommend even if you are the worst cook in the world, it's lovely and my 5 year old can make it

Perhaps your mother enjoys giving the same way that you do?

Sorry, just read you Re making truffles so ignore my suggestion. Truffles would be lovely. I would really appreciate hand made truffles from my daughter at Christmas, it would probably mean more to me that she had gone to that trouble

Sounds like she wants to give her daughter a present at Christmas!

There are people I give to and don't expect anything in return. Im giving for purely selfish reasons!

What Betty said.

aw! But she is your mum and you are her child, in the same way as you are getting for your kids :) I would find it incredibly difficult not to get something for my children even if they begged me not to and they were in their 50s. I love them, they are my children! If you feel crap about it I think the suggestion above to make something are fab, especially the handprint painting.

It's lovely, lovely really. FWIW My mum hates me so much that despite being very wealthy she will never buy me anything ever again; c'est la vie!

She is not expecting anything in return so I would not buy her anything. A heartfelt thankyou will be all she wants. (I do think gift giving in some families is getting out of hand and causing bad feelings and financial hardship.)

Santawilde - you sound lovely....i would buy you pressies if i was your mum

not to hijack thread but aw merlot, thanks :)