To want to know how long MIL is planning on staying over Christmas?

[silvercup]

We have invited MIL to stay with us over Christmas. All we know is that she is arriving on Christmas Eve - but not how long she is planning on staying.

I keep asking DH to find out from her, and he keeps saying that he will, but then doesn't. I don't know whether he feels awkward asking her or something, as if it will sound like we don't want her here?

I feel like I need to know...for practical reasons such as menu planning, but also just to mentally prepare for having a guest. Her going home on the 27th is quite different to her staying until the new year.

Would it BU for me to email her and just ask outright myself? Or shall I keep nagging him to do it?

ask her.

something like "hi, I'm just about to go shopping do meal plans etc and wondered what your plans are"

Phone her yourself and tell her when she's going! You could.ask her if there is a particular meal she likes and offer to.cook it for her on x.date as 'that will be your last night with us'.

Oh this annoys me. You do need to know, in terms of meal planning etc. My PIL used to just turn up, and my husband would be vague about asking them how long they were staying - although in my case they must have known as the return journey involved booking a ferry.

Email or phone her and just ask.

do the arrangements yourself. cut out the middleman.

Do you mind how long she stays? If it matters, you need to phone and tell her when she is leaving. What Katienana said, or "we'd love to have you stay until x".

If you're not fussed, but just want to know, phone and tell her you're meal planning, so which nights will she be with you?

And whatever is agreed, write it on your calendar while she is on the phone, and do it aloud - "so that's the 27th till the xxth, you're going home after lunch on the xxth, there, I've written it on the calendar, excellent, we're looking forward to it".

You MIL is probably stressing cos she doesn't know how long she is invited for, and is worrying in case it seems rude to ask ...

Bertha
In an ideal world I'd have her here just until the 27th, 3 nights - I find having guests quite stressful as I can never fully relax.

However, I want her to stay as long as she wants - she lost her husband recently and as hard as I might find it if she wants to be here a week, it's okay. But if that's going to be the case, I want to know!

Everyone else has already said it. Ring/email her yourself!

You need my DS. Whenever anyone comes to stay the first question when they walk through the door is "when are you going home?". He is 7, has been doing it for years and still does it. It is a bit of a family joke!

But when we invite the in-laws we are specific about when they can visit from and when they must go home. This stems from the time they turned up at 7.30am. Having had a long day out the day before for DSs birthday we were all asleep. DS comes rushing in to say he's heard the door bell. DH out for the count. I go and answer the door. MIL barges past saying "We have rung the bell 3 times. We assumed YOU would be at work, I wouldn't have come early if you were going to be here all day". Um, even if I was going to work, no-one should be turning up at 7.30am. Our relationship was never great but really deteriorated from that moment.

My MIL has a couple of sisters who visit her once or twice a year. I asked her once how long one of them was staying for, (they both live about a 5 hour car journey away). My MIL and FIL both said, Oh we dont know, we would never dream of asking a guest how long they intended to stay for..."

I never asked again. But I dont get it. Surely it is not offensive to want to know how long your guest is staying? Actually, the guest ought to make it clear when they announce their impending visist, how long they will stay, having first check with the host that it is convenient...