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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Children calling CM 'Mum'

33 replies

dogdaysareover · 17/12/2012 21:07

Before I begin, I will just say I have a lot of respect for Cm, very positive relationship and feel very confident that she is the 'right' person to look after DS. BUUUUT, I have heard two of the other children call her 'mum', one 2yo and one 3yo. This makes me slightly uncomfortable and rings alarm bells for reasons I can't even put into words. Any cms out there? Is it normal practice? It's just that by 3 I would expect a child to know the difference between CM and mum and for the cm to gently correct any misunderstandings. I really do think the world of CM, AIBU to think it's a bit weird? The kids also refer to other family members as 'grandma' etc, which seems more acceptable to me. Probably stressing over nothing.

OP posts:

whistlestopcafe · 17/12/2012 21:09

Was it not just a slip of the tounge?

Ds called me by his nursery teachers name the other day.

FlojoHoHoHo · 17/12/2012 21:09

No experience of this but if my kids called someone by the wrong name I'd correct them immediately.

peaceandlovebunny · 17/12/2012 21:10

children often call me 'mum' and i'm their teacher. it means 'woman in charge'. but if she's encouraging it, i'd find it odd.

squeakytoy · 17/12/2012 21:11

It is the sort of thing that all kids do accidentally.

maddening · 17/12/2012 21:14

I accidentally called my reception class teacher mum a few times - I remember saying it too as I felt silly as soon as I said it :)

RobinSucksInTheSnow · 17/12/2012 21:15

I'm a nanny, which means the lines are even more blurred as care is in the child's own home. I often get called mum, dad, name of sister, auntie, teacher.... slip ups happen. I correct immediately though, when my 4 year old charge says 'mum' accidentally to get my attention I say 'ahem' or 'what's my name?' I never respond till I got my correct name or nickname. I think the distinction is very important but children often get it mixed up, once when I was in year 9 or so, aged 14+, one of my classmates called the teacher mum once. Mortifying! But it happens. The problem for me would only be if the CM didn't correct the child.

And I have to say, I've met some child-cares called 'odd' things anyway- a nursery near where I grew up called all the staff 'auntie(name)' or 'uncle(name)' which I found bizarre, and I know of more than one nanny who's charges call nanny!

FryOneFatChristmasTurkey · 17/12/2012 21:15

Have to say this wouldn't really bother me. But then, my family has a trait of calling people by the wrong name in any case. Mum takes it to a fine art, going through about 5-6 female family names on occasion before getting my name right

It is frequently the case she calls me by DD's name and vice versa.

SantaJaxx · 17/12/2012 21:15

I suppose it depends on the context really. When dd2 started school she went through a phase of calling me "Miss", and putting her hand up at home. I also heard her call her teacher mum a few times too. I think that's pretty normal.

phantomnamechanger · 17/12/2012 21:16

I'm a secondary teacher and kids sometimes say mum instead of miss! Then they are mortified. I even have a male colleague who has been addressed as mum - everyone makes little mistakes.

What was more important at the time - the CM responding to what the child was needing from "mum" or putting them in their place/embarrasing them with a correction?

Unlesss your CM is a weirdo like in hand that rocks the cradle, Im sure this is absolutely nothing to worry about.

LingDiLongMerrilyonHigh · 17/12/2012 21:18

I'm a CM and some of the kids do/have done this....I don't correct them as such but kind of repeat my name back to them I.e. if they call mum I say 'ling? Did you want ling?'. Is it your kids that do this? If so just tell her you'd like her to encourage them to use her name. If it's not your kids then let their parents worry about it! I think it's pretty common to be honest.

monsterchild · 17/12/2012 21:19

I get called mum, gramma, dad, teacher, all sorts of names by my dsd. I'm stepmum, but I think Dsd's mom prefers I be called monster, not mum. Which is fine with me.

Newshoesplease · 17/12/2012 21:21

I remember my son accidentally calling his CM "mum" quite often, she just gently corrected him- I think he just minicked what he had heard her children say. He also called their nana "grandma", childminder mentioned it to me in passing, I wasn't worried. I think it happens a lot with LOs.

Original poster

dogdaysareover · 17/12/2012 21:22

Oh, ok. Thanks for your responses. It's not DS but he is too young to talk just yet. I am (blush) but the plot of 'The Hand that Rocked the Cradle' did replay in my head earlier today. But then I am rather a drama queen (fsmile)

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 17/12/2012 21:23

DS went through a phase of calling CM "Mummy". I was quite relieved TBH because he used to call XP's ex-gf "Mummy" too :( I thought they were encouraging him! CM was quite embarrassed about it but I was just happy to realise it was a phase DS was going through and so I didn't mind. He grew out of it soon enough. This was when he was around 2 so fits the ages of the DC in your OP.

I think it was mainly because she had a DD a similar age to him who, of course, called her "Mummy". He couldn't yet understand that "Mummy" was a name that is specific to a relationship, so I think he just assumed "person who looks after children" was "Mummy". He said that DP was "like a mummy" too (which is sad really as he didn't make the "Daddy" connection until much later because his real dad has never been as involved as DP has).

When he got closer to 3 he could understand that CM is X's mummy, Mummy Pig is Peppa Pig's Mummy, etc, and that he had his own Mummy, but that other people call me something else. He then went through a phase of calling me by my first name whenever he was at the CM's, which was quite funny.

Original poster

dogdaysareover · 17/12/2012 21:23

And one who clearly can't use brackets {fblush}

OP posts:

Original poster

dogdaysareover · 17/12/2012 21:24

Still can;t bloody use brackets

OP posts:

Jelly15 · 17/12/2012 21:24

I am a CM and this happens occasionally, but it is just a slip up and I always reply with my name is the sentence. I am more often called Nanna though. I remember my DSs calling me miss after a day in school.

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake · 17/12/2012 21:28

My dc call cm "nan-nan cm name" they pick it up from the other children, especially of there are family members there. (Think it would be mum if cm own children younger) I think It shows they are comfortable there.

I've also been called mum at work, and i teach in a secondary school. Agree with peaceandlovebunny that it generally means woman in charge. and not much different from children over generalising the use of daddy to mean all men, or car to mean anything on the road that isn't a bus.

MsVestibule · 17/12/2012 21:31

I can see I'm in a minority, but I wouldn't really like this! Of course children will call her that accidentally, but I would expect her to correct them. Perhaps you could say something along the lines of "I know DS can't even talk yet, but when he does, what would you like him to call you? Do you prefer or ?

If she says "I insist they call me mummy" wiith a wild look on her face, run for the hills .

nannynick · 17/12/2012 21:51

I get called Dad on occasion. I don't correct the child, I don't respond, I wait. The child will then realise that Dad does not work, so say "I mean Nick" or something like that.

RainbowsFriend · 17/12/2012 21:56

It would make me uncomfortable as well, but the child is probably only copying. As long as she doesn't encourage it, and corrects it then I don#t think you have anything to worry about.

I'm a secondary teacher and frequently get called "mum" by students.
I get more upset when they call me "sir" or "dad"!

AlbertoFrog · 17/12/2012 21:59

DS calls his CM by her name but occasionally if tired will call her mum. She gently corrects him.

Personally I feel it's a compliment as he's obviously very comfortable in her presence.

I wouldn't worry about it.

NeverPromisedYouARoseGarden · 17/12/2012 22:06

YABU - a bit. Agree entirely with AlbertoFrog. Both my DC called their CM 'Mummy' on many occasions and she'd respond by repeating her name as Ling mentioned earlier. I definitely saw it as a sign that they felt comfortable and safe with her.

Hegsy · 17/12/2012 22:59

I might have called my boss mum the other day

smupcakes · 17/12/2012 23:13

I used to be a nanny and was called Mum all day long by DC by accident. After a while you get sick of correcting them - they clearly are mistaken - some children get frustrated if you correct them all the time and interrupt what they're about to say - they know you're not their mother!

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