to be concerned about a child age 7 possibly 8 taking self to school?

[LargeLatte]

or is that reasonable?

Child dresses self, lets self out of home, walks maybe half a mile in total to school alone.

Concerned because last week it was -3 degrees and child did not have a coat which is how it came to light that child does this on their own.

Not actually me who saw this but a family member who asked me what I thought and what we should do.

Family member raised it with school and they spoke to child telling child to remember to bring coat next time but otherwise didn't seem concerned.

So its a genuine AIBU? Should I be concerned or is that old enough to be so independent?

DS did from year 4- he always tries to go without a coat.

I dont think it is the walking is the concern it is the getting themselves out the door unsupervised does this family member know the parents to know that the child gets themselves out in the morning I have a feeling they do know them as they seem to know a lot of what goes on inside the home, I would be concerned and maybe say something depending on the circumstances

When my DDs were at school they had to be taken and picked up from school until they were in year 4. Most children didn't start walking to school until year 5.

I amazingly impressed a 7/8 yo child could get themselves out of the house and to school at the right time.

Mine would just watch TV all day if I didn't insist it was time for school.

Personally I would be concerned. If it were the summer term and the mum was waving the child off to the village I might think differently.

*village school.

Hmmm it's not ideal for the parent to still be in bed. Mind you, mine don't get any help from me, I just sit in the kitchen nursing a coffee
Is the mum maybe ill (I mean like flu) if it's just this week it's happened?

My DS is in year 3 and keen to walk half a mile to school by himself, when he does, he will be more than likely trying to go without a coat unless reminded and stopped.

Lots of reasons for not having a coat, like having left it behind the day before! If he ran to school instead of walking, he might well be fine without a coat. Do the play outside at school or not because it's -3? My DS's school and After School Club are over heated and they often don't get much time outside in winter. Was the chid shivering and looking cold?

The half mile walk wouldn't bother me too much, though the lack of a coat is a worry, unless he has a cosy jumper on, but even then. However, no matter how independent a child is, there is no way they should be getting themselves up, dressed and out for school without some kind of parental supervision. I'd be tempted to say something to the school. Do you know if the mother is perhaps ill so finding it hard to attend to her child? Could she be depressed?

Yes, I think that's worrying and a bit sad. Not the walking (my own dd did that from aged eight), but the lack of care- making sure they are fed, washed, dressed appropriately. And if the parents are still in bed at that time, why is that? Could they be hungover etc? That worries me. Or is there illness in the family and is the child a young carer who needs support? I think that it's reasonable that concerned adults would want to ask questions about that sort of thing.

X-post with mercibucket re the mum perhaps being sick.

Personally I find that very sad ... not so much the walking to school bit (although dd is in year 5 and I walk her every day, she's not allowed out on her own) but where's the chatter in the morning and the "what do you want for breakfast?" sort of conversations ... ? Hmmm.

Seems to be quite common where I live. Plenty of 5 year olds walking to school by themselves. A few roads to cross, not too busy, but the school is about half a mile away. Too young and too far imo.

Can't believe how many people think half a mile is a long way!

RandomMess, to be fair, I don't think that's the main reason most people are concerned. I agree that it isn't too far a walk- it's the other aspects which are more worrying.

really what mrsDV said it is to do with circumstances in the home we can't tell or judge unless we know what is going on, Id be outwardly concerned that the family and child were ok, the walk to school is nothing really , they always get there don't they even if they forget their jacket

My dd & her friend walk to school together without an adult. They are 8 & 7. I dont see a problem with it. Its a 10 min walk with two quiet roads & one busy road to cross which has a lollipop lady. My dd is always wrapped up warm though. However i know many children/people who dont wear coats or even jumpers in cold weather.

I don't think the walking itself is problematic but I would be a bit about parent still being in bed. Even if they are just casting an eye to make sure breakfast is sensible and eaten and that everything needed is taken to school. It just makes me wonder what's going on in the home that parent doesn't even roll out of bed to check child is ok.

Agree that lack of care and company in the morning is potentially worrying, as there could be all sorts of other problems.

Eeeek I thought this was about me for one minute - my 7 year old year 3 ds2 took himself to school this morning, a mile walk crossing several roads.

The baby and I are both vomity ill at the mo so I asked his big brother who is 10 and walks to the same school on his own to walk with him but he didn't apparently - I only found this out when I picked up ds2 after school, who wasn't bothered in the slightest but I was a bit cross with ds1.

DS2 is very sensible, very used to the walk, there are masses of kids walking the same way, he felt very grown up.

BOF oh I agree there are a fair few comments stating that it's too far as well

To my mind it depends on

• why the child is walking to school by themselves - is the parent in a drunken stupor, or are they being taught valuable independence?
• why aren't they wearing a coat? Do they not have one, or are they just choosing not to wear one?
• what are the roads like? Are they busy, are there pedestrian crossings / lollipop lady?
• is the child sensible / mature for their age?

I don't think it's necessarily unreasonable - 30+ years ago it was considered entirely normal for children to be out and about by themselves for hours at a time, and there hasn't been any increase in child murders / abduction in that time - it's just that we hear about it a lot more through the media.

I don't think the walking alone is an issue at all. My 7.5 year old gets dropped a bit away from the school and walks there with her 5 year old sister and all their friends - apparently I'm not cool enough for school. The coat - again my dd1 wouldn't go outside to the bin without one, dd2 runs at a temperature that beggars belief - the wearing of coats or any kind of clothing with sleeves is an issue.

If the school aren't overly concerned, maybe they know more and are aware of something that has changed etc?

Well i wouldnt let my kids walk to school alone at that age. Far too young ! I am surprised so many do tbh.