To tell my mum she can't come for lunch on Boxing Day?

[VivaLeBeaver]

There is some back story as in she's a bit toxic, she threw herself out of my house over a year ago, maybe two years ago sayi g she was never setting foot in the house again as there was fluff on the skirting boards.

We've kept in touch, I've been to hers, etc. she rang me up a few weeks ago and said she felt it was time she started coming round he again. I laughed and said that she had said she couldn't stand the mess (it isn't messy), she said shed have to close her eyes to it. . Anyway, I changed the subject.

Then I felt bad as I realised she wasn't going to get to see my nephew and brother before Xmas unless she came over yesterday when they were here. So I invited her. Things went ok.

I asked her what she was doing on Xmas day. She said nothing so I invited her for lunch and she said she would think about it.

She's rung back tonight to say she's now had a better offer of going to her ex neighbour for Xmas day lunch so could she come on Boxing Day instead. I said no.

I don't want the arse of cooking twice.

I think Yanbu probably. Dumping you for a better offer is rude.

Do you want to make up with her? Letting her come round for turkey sandwiches wouldn't be lots of work, would it?

Yanbu at all.

I suppose I hadn't thought about sandwiches. The thought of doing a full roast beef dinner went through my mind. Maybe.....will have to think.

I was just looking forward to a day of relaxation really, the following day we're going to dd's family and then back to work.

perfectly reasonable. you've been very good. she can't insist you cook twice!

yanbu. and you should Christmas wrap a box of dirt and lint to post to her too.

YANBU unreasonable to cook twice if you weren't going to anyway.

I would let her come but make it clear that she will have to fit in with your normal plans on that day.

Well, I think I'd have replied along the lines of... "You can come round if you want, but we'll be having a lazy day, prob won't have breakfast before 10 so it will be a sarnie about 1. You're welcome if you want to"... type thing, then the ball is in her court.

Your mother was very rude saying that she had had a better offer for Christmas day. Asking to come on Boxing day instead just compounds it. She will walk all over you if you let her, so just continue to say no and keep things strictly on your terms. It sounds like your boxing day would be a whole lot nicer without her anyway.

Dh is happy anyway.

I cant believe her cheek tbh. A better offer? Let her go to her neighbours and let her get on with it. Seems like youre the one doing all the giving here!