to not want to go along with this? ex partner related!!

[littlemisssarcastic]

Ex partner lives with his girlfriend and her DS.
He used to have DD over to stay alternate weekends until DD bit his g/f's DS. Apparently his g/f no longer wants DD to stay after that incident, so XP meets me in town and sees DD that way. It is not on set days but has been regularish over last 2/3 months.
Anyhow, XP would never disclose exactly where he lives so I felt a bit better about DD not going to stay. I have never met this girlfriend either.
XP also won't give me a landline number, although he uses the landline to call me.
Now XP.has had his mobile phone cut off for not paying the bill yet he still won't give his landline number.
He has no idea when he will be able to get another mobile.
In the meantime, I am to email him with information on an email address he doesn't often check. (Maybe once a day and he has no access to email at work).
Tbh I don't use email very much.
AIBU to tell XP that this is not good enough and to expect him to provide a phone number I can contact him on wrt DD?
Or does he have a right to expect to keep his landline number and his address private?
Disclaimer: XP claims it is not his address or landline number to disclose and apparently it is his g/f who has asked that I don't have it.

How old are the children? Unless your daughter is a teenager and the girlfriend's son is really little it seems like a massive overreaction to a bite. I don't think you need to know his address if you're picking up/dropping off somewhere else, but it's shoddy of him not to have a some means of contact.

i don't care about the bite. what had he done to earn it, anyway?

i do care that your ex takes your dd somewhere and you don't know where she is. that isn't good. and not being able to contact him when he has her isn't good either.

Seems a bit ott to not have your daughter stay because she bit, I'm assuming she's only little.

DPs ex has our address because her children are heree regularly but she doesn't have the landline number because she is a pain in the arse who would harrass us constantly can contact dp on his mobile.

Yanbu to expect a number you can reach ex on incase of an emergency with your dd

I wouldn't let my DS stay anywhere unless I had an address. He was only 12 mths when we split up and xp doesn't have PR.
Solicitor asked for any address's where our DS would be spending time and that included any new girlfriends address's and indeed phone numbers...if these had been with held then DS would not of stayed anywhere overnight!

As to the bite, sounds like a bit of an over reaction to me. Your x should stand up to his gf where his DS is concerned but I know from experience that a lot of men don't do this!!

Sounds to me like your xp's gf is probably still claiming as a single parent hence the reason she doesn't want her home information connected to your xp.

As for that situation, there's no way I would let my dc be with his dad without proper contact information. Anything could happen.

I would not let my precious children out of my sight with such little information about where she is/who she is with. Deliberately with holding the information smacks of something to hide/dodgy dealings so I would stop all contact until you are satisfied she is safe.

DD is 4 and g/f's DS is 3.
Apparently, DD and g/f's DS were playing in g/f's DS's bedroom for an hour alone when DS came out crying with a bite Mark on him because DD bit him.
I wouldn't mind not having a landline number if XP had a working mobile, but he hasn't got one at the moment and still refuses to give any alternative contact details.
I suggested he message me on Facebook since I use that more often but he has blocked me on there.
I suspect his g/f is on single parent benefits as one poster has suggested, and maybe that explains his reluctance to disclose details. I don't understand it Tbh.
XP has my address, my landline number, my mobile number, he knows where my mum lives, and where my eldest DC works. I don't understand the secrecy and I don't understand why his g/f thinks it's ok either. Apparently g/f's DS's father doesn't have anything other than a designated mobile phone number to ring either. Only difference is that phone number actually works and hasn't been cut off.

Agree - massive over reaction to a bite! Why do men go along with having their children shut out of their lives?

Anyway, no, I would not agree to send my DC somewhere where I don't know where they were and had no way of getting in touch.

I would put this in writing so you can document your stance and why you're not comfortable, do you're not just arbitrarily blocking access.

This is ludicrous.

I would be going for supervised contact only in this instance.

It's amazing what a wee quick search on the internet can reveal...maybe try putting his gf's name in to something ike 192.com....although you shouldn't have to do this!

A responsible person would not leave a 3 and a 4 yr old unsupervised and out of earshot for an hour.

Sorry - posted too soon. For this reason, I would say supervised contact is the way to go. Where was your DD's father when this biting incident took place? It sounds as if your DD is not being adequately cared for during his contact time.

YANBU. I think having some way of immediate contact is important, if DD had an accident how would you tell him? Do you have contact with ex in laws? Could they forward messages to him?
OTOH Maybe new gf has had bad experience with a partners ex in the past? She may think of you as the nutty ex of her bf who is going to send hate mail/ slash her tyres, etc.

I have no idea where XP was when the biting incident took place. He doesn't tell me anything about what happens when DD is with him.

Maybe it was too much for his g/f to cope with if she was on her own. I only have XP's version of events. I have never spoken to his g/f.

TinyDancingHoofer I have tried to explain that I need a way of contacting him in an emergency, yet he refuses to give me anything other than an email address. I have no idea what I will do if DD has an accident, apart from to email him to let him know.
I have no contact with ex inlaws and haven't done for 4 years, and XP rarely sees or speaks to any of his family anyway. He moves too often for them to keep track of him and speaks to his mother on the phone approxiametely once every 6 months, when XP rings her from a withheld number or his mobile.
He has no friends (apart from his girlfriends friends) so I cannot contact him that way.
I am just left waiting by the phone for him to call me.