To think this is not really good enough?

[MummyPig24]

Last week ds (5) came out of school with a bruise on his face, no note. He said a child hit him with a bat. I asked the teacher about it and she said she hadn't noticed it but the playground assistant that ds told should have reported it to her, then she would normally issue a note to me.

Today ds comes out with a huge red welt from his temple down his cheek. No note. I had to go in as dd was desperate for the loo. As I was asking him what happened another teacher interjected and said he ought to tell a teacher if things like that happen. Ds claims he told the same playground assistant as last time.

Am I wrong in thinking that a break down in communications regarding injury to a childs face is not really good enough. I accept she forgot the first time but the second time I'm now a bit annoyed.

Of course ds could be telling porkies about reporting it so I don't want to go in all guns blazing and accuse said assistant but I do feel I ought to follow it up. How can I do that without seeming like one of those nightmare parents?

Fair enough Dozy. When I was a teacher I didn't examine all my children for injuries and I rarely knew how any injuries were obtained unless the child was really hurt and came and told me about it. Other than that random cuts and bruises were just part of everyday life - sometimes I'd comment on them only to be told the child didn't remember how they got them or didn't even realise they were there! With over 100 children to supervise playground supervisors are definitely not going to see every injury or necessarily record every one of them.

I am genuinely surprised so many people would be so fussed about such a small injury.

When DS was in mainstream they didn't bother to tell me about a fall. Turns out he had fractured his bloody thumb!!

And he was SUPPOSED to have 1:1

Sore subject for me

Op

I had similar - but DD came home with masive red scrapes on her arm inside - PLUS a large short but deep mark on her face and her knees scraped, she had a head injury also - the note was about hte head injury but she told me two girls were pulling her trying to make her do something.

I just wasnt sure what had happened or if they had seen all the other marks - inflicted at the same time! Or if they had treated them etc...when children are larger one would expect less attention on them - but I think at 5 - play ground monitors need to be really vigilant....

I think they need to watch out for signs of bullying etc - who are the crazy kids who may hurt themselves more....

They are only 5 for goodness sake.

Also the teacher said my DD was asked how it happend and she didnt really say.

The teacher I know is known for not encouraging any contact between her and the parents - so I wonder if she would create an envirnment where teh children felt comfortable in telling her if something had happned or un toward was going on.
If your teacher is busy and dismissive it may not be condusive to disclosing info if you are a shy - 5 year old .

I'm sorry Cailin but I have been an observer in a school playground and seen for myself how some children get upset and hurt and no-one comes to comfort them.

Usually because the teachers are busy elsewhere or distracted or oblivious.

I don't think the OP is making too big a deal of this. Her child is her responsibility and she must be her DSs advocate.

Unfortunately, as in any profession, not all teachers are as caring and observant as we would like to imagine them to be.

If OP has any queries or concerns she really must follow it up imo.

I think you need to have a quiet word, too. I disagree that one supervisor would have 100 children to look after, especially of only 5 yrs old. However, even with a smaller number of pupils to supervise it is possible to miss a crying child. It happened on several occasions to me last year that a child returned from lunch break to my class having clearly been upset but not having reported it. I think you need to impress on your ds that he needs to report it if he's hurt, but also raise it with the teacher. You didn't necessarily need a note, but for the teacher to pop out and acknowledge he's had a bang and tell you how brave he was, or something, would at least let you know that they know.

"Today ds comes out with a huge red welt from his temple down his cheek"

Calin

"I am genuinely surprised so many people would be so fussed about such a small injury. "

hmmmm!!!!!

Any injury to the head should be recorded and info passed onto parents.

I don't think it's good enough either.

Is it being recorded and just not passed on? or just not recorded?

If for whatever reason you had hospital/SS involvment, with no record it could be classed as a 'non accidental injury'

I got my weekly phonecall regarding dd who this time has had an altercation with a door.

Do you have a copy of their accident policy, might be on their website? mine is that they contact parents if there is a head injury, if its a proper bump the parent comes in to assess the damage and take to hospital if need be.

I've visited lots in the first term... - but if they aren't following their own procedures this needs to be raised as an issue, in a very nice way!

I thought notes for head/facial injuries were standard?

My kids certainly bring them home whenever they've bumped themselves.

I doesnt' matter whether the injury is obvious or not, the note gives advice on watching out for signs of concussion.

Basically, to cover the school.

I don't think he is being bullied. It was first a child year 2, then in his reception class. They are obviously playing with these tennis raquets at lunchtime and getting over excited.

I don't think it's being recorded at all. Which is worrying in cases of head/face injuries. I will ask the teacher tomorrow but they are going to the theatre so she probably won't thank me for bringing it up.

I think, as you have said here she won't thank you for bringing it up, you need to say something like that to her :) Parents who come in all guns blazing stress me out, but nice ones who say things like "You won't like me for raising this on such a busy day, but..." etc tend to get the better side of my personality because they haven't scared me first!

i think in general when people complian or raise issues anywhere its nice to be nice about it - however teachers need to understand that parents will feel upset about thier children esp at such a young age.

whether the parents come in all guns blazing or come in with grace and gentleness - the response should be the same - helpful and calming and yes - lets have a see - what has happened to this child...

teachers response shouldnt sway depending on the personality of the parents!

At our school (120 on roll) a slip goes home with any child who has an injury that requires first aid - however minor. Very occasionally a child sustains an injury that is not reported to staff and so would go home without a note. If a parent queried this we would have a little chat with the child concerned about the importance of telling someone when hurt for future incidents. In this case I would be wondering why no one else noticed this child had facial injuries which probably needed some first aid treatment even if he DIDN'T actually tell the playground asst.

Oh, I'm not saying that my response depended on their personality - obviously that would be completely unprofessional. No, it is more that if they come in aggressively it immediately makes you feel upset and rattled and it is sometimes difficult to handle that in a way that makes you look and feel competent, even though the likelihood is you are doing your best for the child.

I absolutely agree that teachers need to understand that parents feel upset about their children, however in my experience some parents don't always remember that teachers are human beings too with human emotions! It doesn't sound like the op is like that, though :)

Right, well I did speak to the teacher. It went like this "Sorry to bring this up this morning, I know you've got a busy day. You know A came out with a bruised face last week? Well, yesterday he had a big red mark. Is there a policy? I've seen you come out and tell parents about minor injuries but wondered if that was standard practice?"

Teacher was apologetic and said yes there is a policy, any minor injures in the playground should be written down and passed on to her so that she can tell the parent.

I said that ds claims he told Mrs X but that I don't know if he is saying that because he thinks he might get into trouble for not twlling. Anyway, we will see what the outcome is but they've all gone off to the theatre very excited!

good for you mummypig!!!!

Gwen

I get what your saying - we are all human beings - but unfortunalty anyone in a front line role has to expect a degree of flack sometimes- it may not be fair but that is humanity and you are the face of the school and responsible for that child. Most people are reasonable and i am sure the tricky ones are few and far between, any teacher or anyone in a " customer" facing role has to remember its not neccasarily personal and simply sort the problem out.

The attitude - of speak nicely to me and i will be nice back when that person is in a postion of power really worries me.

I worked in an old peoples home once with some care workers who were horrid to the more " difficult" elderly people - not talking to them, physically being rougher with them when changing and not caring for them.

Sadly it had turned into a war of attrition between some patients and staff.

I personally ignored the labels and treated each person the same - and after a while some relaxed with me - and were fine - and the genuinley more difficult ones - i just thought - its my job to look after them - its not personal -= and i treated them all the same.

Its not down to me to react to them - its down to me to wash them, lok after them - be as nice as i can to them....and thats what i am being paid for - to look after them.

That is part of any teachers job.

I think what you're talking about there applies to the relationship that teachers have with children eliza - teachers should treat all children fairly regardless of their feelings towards them as they are vulnerable and subject to the teacher's power. IMO it doesn't apply quite as strongly to parents who are equal adults and thus should be expected to treat the teacher with respect and dignity. There is no excuse for parent coming in screaming or being abusive except in the most extreme circumstances and I don't think teachers should have to be polite no matter how they're treated.

I have always been told "treat others as you wish to be treated". I wouldn't like someone to be rude at me so I'm not going to be rude to someone else, no matter how I feel.

Ooh Calin have you had parents coming in screaming and being abusive - at you?

I dont think I have ever heard of any parents coming and screaming at teachers? I imagine it does happen though.....

If the teachers need to commincate something important about a child to its parents - that is what they must do.

If parents come in screaming I wonder perhaps if that wouldn't be something the police would have to deal with?

I've never had a parent scream at me thank god but I've seen it happen to other teachers. One teacher was shoved up against a wall by a bastard of a father who objected to her suggesting that he help his son with his homework. He was arrested for that.

I taught for 5 years and was never ever rude to a parent. But plenty were rude to me, from having a nasty tone to out and out insults. It is hard in those circumstances to maintain composure. I have cried because of what a parent has said to me.

But apart from out and out rudeness what's very wearing is a parent assuming that what their child says is gospel, that you as the teacher don't have a clue what you're doing and assuming that their child will get special treatment despite there being 29 or so other children in the class. It's very very hard to reason with a parent who doesn't actually take the day to day reality of school life into account.

I was always pleased to engage with parents who had a question about something (as the OP did) or who had a legitimate complaint that they approached politely. It's the parents who seemed to expect to run the classroom according their child's dictats that annoyed me. Their level of delusion was sometimes staggering.

Yes i can imagine that - parents being deluded over thier children - but unfortunalty thats alll part and parcel of the job isnt - it - as you are coming into contact with the hoy poly arnt you?

I'm sorry soooo many parents were rude to you calin, I can't imagine any of the parents being rude to teachers at my DD school and also at schools I attended ( I know of a one or two parents who used to make a fuss over nothing but they were not rude at all about it)- again I would have been astounded - if any parents had been sooooo rude to a teacher they would make them cry....

However I am glad you have now conceeded that OP DID after all have a legitmate complaint about her childs HUGE WELT...and she had a right to be " fussed" about the injury afterall.

Your tone is very odd eliza, I presume you're trying to be clever or something. Good luck with that.

Sorry to hijack your post, op, but I want to clear up how eliza has misunderstood me again.

"The attitude - of speak nicely to me and i will be nice back when that person is in a postion of power really worries me." - I tried to explain in my last post that this is not what I meant. Clearly I have not done so very well.

I am professional in my dealings with all the parents who speak with me. I am only too well aware that in these situations I am "the face of the school" as you rightly put it. However, in my career I have been held to the wall by my collar by one mother about a reading book (and that was in a "posh" school) and have had another one frequently storm into my classroom slamming the door before school in the morning, as well as countless others who took unpleasant tones or made insinuations. Personally, when I am approached that aggressively it makes me physically shaky and upset. I accept I am bound to "expect a degree of flack", but being approached like that can make it hard to respond in an articulate manner. I do not mean I am rude, I am never rude to the parents (although they frequently are to me) but I am sometimes a little hesitent and stammering in my responses when they treat me in this manner. I feel that then makes me look incompetent to them, which does not help either of us. Actually, I am a pretty good teacher (although I am just a classroom teacher, and have no desire to be a head or deputy head because I know dealing with confrontational situations is something I find hard).

Also - you say you would be astounded it any parent was ever so rude to a teacher that it made them cry. Well, I was frequently reduced to tears at the end of a school day by parents who niggled and griped about things that were out of my jurisdiction. And I wasn't the only one in my school, and I have seen it in other schools too, so it isn't just a question of me needing to grow a thicker skin.

OP - thank you on behalf of the teacher for being "nice" about it, well done for approaching it and I hope your little one had a Grand Day Out :)