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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not allow teenagers to pack my bags in the supermarket?

50 replies

Cezzy · 17/12/2012 13:34

Went grocery shopping the other day and teenagers were taking over the end of the checkout offering to pack bags for donations towards something for their school. While I applaud that they are trying to do something useful, I can't bring myself to let them pack my bags and am left feeling mean, however when I relented before I had squashed bread, fridge stuff in with papers etc. I like to pack my bags so they are ready to unpack straight into the correct cupboards when I get home, I also like to use particular bags for certain items. I know I may have a touch of OCD about this, but please, reassure me I am not alone in being a meanie.

OP posts:

iseetinselandtantrums · 17/12/2012 14:32

DS8 did a bag pack yesterday after some serious training with me. I have to say Tesco welcomed then and dished out father xmas hats. Most people were kind enough to let them help. One guy paid them with a large bag of Minstrels which really raised a smile. For me it's an early lesson about not expecting things for free (hates Halloween trick or treating) and that hard work is sometimes necessary.

Zavi · 17/12/2012 14:40

I hate being accosted approached at the supermarket by bag packers! I feel pressurised to say "yes" even though I haven't sought out those services myself.

For that reason, I never allow the kids to pack my bags even though I think it's good that they are so directly involved in their fund-raising.

I would feel differently about the bag-packing if the money that I gave the kids went directly to a charity but as one other poster said why should I fund another child's holiday charity when so much of the money raised to help others is spent on the child's travel (often to far-off places) and accommodation.

Jingleallthejay · 17/12/2012 14:50

They are only children and trying to do their best , a quick guidance on how to pack bags if you so wish , pointing out that bread goes at the TOP of the bag

Exactly least they are doing something productive and all that,

specialsubject · 17/12/2012 14:56

pity all this effort doesn't go to something useful. Litter picking, garden trimming, assistance with housework for those who need it, etc, etc.

and yes, they can whistle if they want donations for school trips to expensive destinations.

Atthewelles · 17/12/2012 14:58

Money's quite tight for me at the moment and I do find it annoying if I've been going around the supermarket choosing the cheapest brands etc and then find a load of kids at the checkouts looking for donations for the boy scouts' trip to Italy or somesuch. Its quite hard to say no and pass on without making a donation, but I can't afford a foreign holiday myself at the moment and don't feel I should be put under pressure to donate to someone else's. I also dislike the way it's so often presented as a charity, confusing shoppers into thinking they're donating to a worthy cause.

forbiddenfruit85 · 17/12/2012 14:58

Is it purely because they are teenagers?

Jingleallthejay · 17/12/2012 15:01

I know my DD has never collected for any trips to exotic destination it was for the upkeep of the hall she goes too, she never goes to italy anywhere exotic I think her school does in school fundraising

SantasENormaSnob · 17/12/2012 15:09

I don't like it tbh and I'm not particularly precious about packing shopping.

I really dislike feeling hounded for money at the checkout. It's bad enough paying the ££££ that a bog standard shop costs nowadays.

threesocksfullofchocs · 17/12/2012 15:19

yanbu I don't want anyone to pack my bags.
I also am not keen on being blackmailed into donating

peaceandlovebunny · 17/12/2012 15:22

perfectly reasonable.
i never allow anyone to pack for me.
they aren't carrying my bags and they aren't unpacking, so what right do they have to decide where things should go?
if i say no and they do it anyway, i tip everything out, do it again, and don't pay until i've finished. they learn.

LulaPalooza · 17/12/2012 15:28

In South Africa, where DH is from, they have bag packers at the supermarket as a matter of course. Ditto petrol station attendants who fill your car. It's a lot about job creation, so I feel mean, but I HATE it! Like many others on this thread, I am completely anal somewhat meticulous about bag packing. I like to a) make it easy on myself when unpacking and b) keep meat separate from other things.

The only way round it is to put everything on the conveyor belt in the EXACT order that you want it packed, with spaces between bag loads, if that makes sense.

I am very happy to have someone put fuel in my car though!

samandi · 17/12/2012 15:30

I would hate this. Being pressured when you're going about your day to day business irritates me. I'd just say no and probably not return to the shop again for awhile.

sundaesundae · 17/12/2012 15:32

A lot of them are raising money for World Challenge trips, these are usually for several weeks and the kids go and do charitable and rewarding work abroad. Half the point is that they have a goal amount of money to raise and work as a team to do it, they learn organisational, team working and interpersonal skills and often are from backgrounds where their parents could never afford it anyway. These aren't "holidays" and "ski-trips" but life-changing experiences designed to enrich young peoples lives.

Having said that, we never let them pack our bags, however my OH always gives them £5 or £10 as he himself went to Tanzania on one of these trips and it changed his life, so he understands the benefit. We also always take the time to chat to them and ask what they are doing it for etc. and if it was just for a jolly we wouldn't give unless there was a good reason.

NorthernChinchilla · 17/12/2012 15:38

You're definitely NBU OP

I'll cheerfully give them a quid or so, depending on what they're raising money for, and my DP will have a chat with them, but no-one packs my shopping but me. I even argue with DP about it.
Partly it's based on the inevitability that it's done badly, and partly having spent so much time in supermarkets with my Mum, who's a wheelchair user, where people just start packing your bags for you without asking, I have a bit of a 'thing' about it.

susanann · 17/12/2012 15:38

I dont even let OH pack if I can help it! lol. Yeah I know OCD! No one does it like I do, same with putting it away when I get home!!

Jingleallthejay · 17/12/2012 15:50

My husband has his system he wont even let me pack a bag he twitches if I put something in the wrong bag you can see him inwardly fume , so bag packers are his worst nightmare

WitchOfEndor · 17/12/2012 15:55

I hate anyone packing my bags, even DH just shoves everything in randomly. I like to put things together so that everything for the fridge, freezer, cupboards is together and that doesn't make me a weirdo DH I always just give them the money and tell them I will pack myself!

Jingleallthejay · 17/12/2012 15:58

TBf my husbands way is much more logical than my just shove it in approach because it makes it easier to put away which I do anyway as he packed it all and lugged it in from the car

MulleredWhines · 17/12/2012 16:18

YANBU and I used to give a donation instead. Until a pair of scouts snarled 'Is that ALL ?' when I put some loose change in their bucket. Now they get nothing!

Ragwort · 17/12/2012 16:32

Mullered - that is shocking and as a Scout Leader I am horrified to read that, were there any Leaders around (there should have been) - those Scouts should have been reported.

But why do some of you feel 'obliged' to give a donation if you don't want to, you shouldn't let yourself feel guilt tripped into it; I never give to animal charities for reasons you can probably guess but I don't feel guilty about it at all.

Adversecalendar · 17/12/2012 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sundaesundae · 17/12/2012 17:10

I do wonder whether it is worth their while when most of us don't want them to. Someone I suppose would welcome the help, in my youth I worked on a checkout and we had to offer to help, I remember maybe two people in 4 years wanting help and usually it was due to having a broken arm or being elderly and infirm, people who can probably ill afford giving a donation.

As a brownie and a guide we would be singing round ALL of the old people's homes at this time of year, think that would be better charity.

Lilymaid · 17/12/2012 17:17

I don't let others pack my bags, but I do let them put the stuff on the belt so that I don't have to do both jobs. I then give them £1 (or more if they are nice!)
DS2 has done a lot of bag packing in his time for rugby and World Challenge trips so I feel sympathy for the teenagers as he has spent many Saturday/Sunday mornings lurking in Waitrose/Sainsbury's/Asda.

ajandjjmum · 17/12/2012 17:21

Ds did this years ago, and he learned to pack bags properly - comes in very handy from time to time! I pack my own but give something.

Atthewelles · 17/12/2012 17:25

YANBU and I used to give a donation instead. Until a pair of scouts snarled 'Is that ALL ?' when I put some loose change in their bucket. Now they get nothing! Quote

Rude brats. You should have complained to the Manager of the supermarket. Kids should not be allowed to embarass or annoy customers in that way and they should have been immediately booted off the till and told to go home.

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