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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To start touching people like they touch me?

21 replies

SparklyTwinkles · 17/12/2012 01:06

I am 12 weeks pregnant ( not even showing!!) yet for some reason people who know I am pregnant think its ok to put there hands on my stomach and move them around!!!!! So... Im thinking when people do it to me I shall do it straight back! Im hoping people will take the bloody hint. Iv said to such people "What are yoy doing? Dont touch me" but apparently im noody due to hormones? Grrrr

OP posts:

Nellycats · 17/12/2012 01:39

Keep your distance and put your hands over your belly - if you see them make a move then avoid. They should get the hint and saves you the awkwardness of touching them back.

I once had a guy I barely knew properly rub my 7 month belly round and round. It was so over the top that I just blushed and froze up. He was weird, it does make me laugh now I must admit...

Nellycats · 17/12/2012 01:41

Meant to write if you see them make a move, swerve to avoid. But I did find that hands crossed in front of chest/belly area acted like a bit of a deterrent as people would have to somehow bypass them to get to the belly. The guy that rubbed (yuck!) had caught me off guard

Hegsy · 17/12/2012 01:43

YANBU I love pregnancy bumps but would never just start touching someone.

Original poster

SparklyTwinkles · 17/12/2012 01:49

Nellycats.. Thats awful! And a bit eurghh weirdo lol.

Im dreading when I have a bump, if people are touching me now and I am only 3 months what is going to happen in the next 6. I will start crossing my arms in front of chest and stomach and hopefully said people will take the hint.

OP posts:

AngryBeaver · 17/12/2012 02:05

I stroked a man's dog in the street once. And then I stood up and he rubbed my stomach!
I wasn't even pregnant!
Just kidding
I was heavily pregnant and totally shocked,how weird is that?!

Kytti · 17/12/2012 02:42

I always ask "is it ok if I touch your bump?" to close friends and family. I didn't mind my friends touching me, but complete strangers freaked me out a bit.

SantasBigBaubles · 17/12/2012 02:58

Do it, it's not OK to touch someon with out permission

LadyKinbote · 17/12/2012 03:33

I had a colleague who used to touch my bump so I started saying loudly "Why do you keep touching me? Pervert." I did know her very well.

rednellie · 17/12/2012 03:34

My FIL who I only barely knew at the time kissed my bump when I was pregnant with DD. I think he realised he'd over stepped the mark when I recoiled in horror!

Conversely, when I was 8 months pregnant with twins and the size of the moon, people often started to back away in horror.

MammaTJ · 17/12/2012 05:16

I knew from the title you were pregnant. Why do people do this?

JeezyOrangePips · 17/12/2012 05:16

Before I clicked on the link I thought 'that'll make a trip to the gynaecologist interesting!'

YANBU. It would never occur to me to touch someone's baby bump. The only bump I've felt other than my own was my friend when she grabbed my hand and put it on herself when baby was moving.

I'd love to see the reaction.

TheSkiingGardener · 17/12/2012 06:20

I had this the other day. Nobody has touched my bump up until now, and I'm 7 months pregnant. Then, at a work do, a colleague did it a couple of times. Then she said "it must be odd for you with everyone touching your bump". I just smiled and said "nope, you are the only person that has done it". At least she had the grace to look uncomfortable about that.

I usually find a well honed air of "don't fuck with me" does the trick if you suspect people of being bump-rubbers.

peaceandlovebunny · 17/12/2012 07:09

i've observed that people do this.
if their hands are on you, lift them off, look them in the eye and say 'no!'.

CailinDana · 17/12/2012 07:13

I don't understand how people even get the opportunity to touch you. You need to signal with your body language that you're not up for being touched by not being "open" - stand slightly tilted away or with your arms crossed - any gesture that lets someone know that you're not on display. No one has ever done this to me (30 weeks with DC2) apart from my sister who would yank my arms down anyway (and I don't mind) because I never give them the opening if that makes sense.

TheCollieDog · 17/12/2012 08:18

I've never wanted to touch anyone else's bump. Even when one of my sisters invited me to. I did, but it felt a weird thing to do. The crossed arms thing is good, but I wish I'd thought of touching back but for me it was a long time ago, when women being pregnant in public and gasp -- even working rut up to term was still a wee bit unusual.

kitbit · 17/12/2012 08:58

We lived in Spain when we had ds, over there bumps and babies are considered public property, in a nice way, but it can get a bit much.

I find if you smile in your most friendly way possible while firmly swatting hands away people get the message without being offended :)

Ds had tge softest chubbiest cheeks when he was born, more swatting to keep the spanish ladies from pinching them, and they really squeeze, smile and swat :o

ArtVandelay · 17/12/2012 09:07

I used to rub back. Is especially funny to rub a man's fat tummy. Love that outraged-but-then-realise-they-asked-for-it face. Enjoy your pregnancy!

Wishfulmakeupping · 17/12/2012 09:15

People are weird around bumps! A colleague who i do not know very well at all- tried to lift up my top is shit you not as she ''wanted to see the bump properly' she was annoyed when I pulled my top swiftly back down and told her no with a did you really just do that look on my face
Others In the office couldn't see why I wouldn't let her have a look

TraineeBabyCatcher · 17/12/2012 09:22

When I was pregnant with Ds I actually shouted at someone for this. I blame it on the hormones as it was so out of character for me. I would feel sorry for the girl as she was just the last of many, but she had been a bitch to me till I was pregnant so I wasn't suddenly going to be her friend.
I had just got fed up with people in school constantly feeling the need to touch my bump announce 'oo I can feel it' and then proceed to quiz me.
I was never a popular kid at school but suddenly I was the centre of attention for the whole school. I would have happily kept myself to myself like a normally did.
I became quite sarcastic in my pregnancy.

samandi · 17/12/2012 09:38

Yes, do :-) report back on their reactions, bet they don't like it one bit!

QuietNinjaChristmasSpecial · 17/12/2012 11:02

I didn't mind friends and family touching my bump at all. There was only one person who touched my bump who I wanted to smack and that as my old male boss. Bleurgh. Just reached out and rubbed my stomach. I was so shocked I didn't say anything. I have 2 friends who are pregnant and one quite clearly doesn't want to be touched and I have not gone near her bump but the other is quite happy for me to touch her bump and talk to the babies like a loon

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