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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she has singled my DS out.

34 replies

slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:01

There is a mum in the nursery I have a bit of history with. She was a friend, but inexplicably turned on me a few months ago (I think because she couldn't manipulate me any longer because I was getting stronger after my PND). Anyway, we no longer get on at all.

Her DD goes to the same nursery as my DS, and I found out she sent every other child in the nursery a Christmas card apart from my DS.

I have sent her DD a card.

I feel quite cross. She's left my little boy out of a Christmas card, even though our DC get on, because she doesn't like me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CailinDana · 16/12/2012 20:02

YABU let it go.

allthegoodnamesweretaken · 16/12/2012 20:03

no, but as long as dS doesn't know/isn't bothered I would just leave it.

FamiliesShareGerms · 16/12/2012 20:03

Depends if she really did deliberately omit to send your DD a card (which would BU), or has forgotten to, or it's got lost somewhere along the line etc (which would NBU)

Catsdontcare · 16/12/2012 20:03

She's a silly cow, it's nursery and your ds won't notice or care. I wouldn't give it anymore thought. You were the bigger person by sending a card, kill herr with kindness!

ViperInTheManger · 16/12/2012 20:04

Probably not but, without concrete evidence, you risk looking like a cow if you tackle her. I think you should watch and wait, if she is doing this she will either get over it or trip herself up sooner or later.

Not much consolation now but rising above it is probably the best course of action for now.

KittyFane1 · 16/12/2012 20:06

Really, don't give it a second thought. Don't make anything of it to your DS, he probably hasn't even noticed if he is nursery age and you shouldn't waste time thinking about it.

Original poster
slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:07

No everyone else I know in the nursery has received a card from her. I checked DS' pigeon hole to be sure.

I just think that's so nasty Sad why take it out on a toddler?

OP posts:
peaceandlovebunny · 16/12/2012 20:07

ignore it. if your son has noticed, start building resilience by pointing out that it hasn't made the slightest difference to his life and he can still be happy.

Original poster
slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:09

Obviously there might be other kids she left out because I'm not friends with everyone in the nursery.

I didn't think twice about sending a card to her dd. why would I?

I always say hello in the street, she blanks me. Even with her DC watching.

OP posts:
PessaryPam · 16/12/2012 20:10

Cut her and her kid out and forget it.

kinkyfuckery · 16/12/2012 20:10

Ignore, your DS won't notice. Just continue to give her DD a card as you would have.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 16/12/2012 20:11

You know EVERYONE got a card? Really? So who shared that little gem of info.

Even if its true when she gets yours, you will look like you have taken the higher road and she will feel a bit of a twat.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 16/12/2012 20:12

X post. So everyone didn't get a card? Just people whose parents she gets on with and knows. Seems fine to me.

MadameCastafiore · 16/12/2012 20:12

This really bothers you?

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding · 16/12/2012 20:13

She sounds like a nasty piece of work, forget her!
Even when me & a friend fell out we still sent eachothers dc christmas cards. It's so unfair when people bring their kids into an argument.

Original poster
slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:18

brady every other mother in the nursery who I know has got one, it started with one of them asking who X was. I said because (obviously) I don't know everyone in the nursery, I can't be 100% sure but it seems pretty clear to me.

I sent her dd a card as in 'no hard feelings, the DC get on'.

OP posts:
Original poster
slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:19

madame I know it shouldn't, but she keeps doing silly little things to me and they are building up.

OP posts:
Justtobeslim · 16/12/2012 20:25

Move on! Don't waste any more time think about it, you have more important things in your life to think about. She needs to grow up.

Floralnomad · 16/12/2012 20:25

YABU , you need to chill a bit , as you said its her that sent the card not her child ,she doesn't like you so your child didn't get a card . Not everyone will like you and your child get over it life's too short .

Original poster
slatternlymother · 16/12/2012 20:26

I think it might be the first flash of irritation, as I only just found out.

I just can't bear that kind of behaviour.

OP posts:
bluebiscuit · 16/12/2012 20:28

Your ds will never know, presumably. So you need to forget about the silly card. Just cut the woman out - why bother saying hello when you are going to get blanked?

misterwife · 16/12/2012 20:36

Christmas card politics are a pain in the arse. Don't get drawn in.

MrsDeVere · 16/12/2012 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoctorAnge · 16/12/2012 20:38

Stupid, stupid Woman.

Forget it and enjoy your life...

upstart68 · 16/12/2012 21:39

Oh you'll encounter all kinds of twats as you go through the school system. I would just ignore this. It's not major.

Let her get on with it and don't be affected by it.

It's easy to say I know. There's a woman who doesn't like me. She's barely ever spoken to me - but I think it emerged from a friend of hers saying something nice about me 4 years ago and her being worried this friend liked me more than she liked her.

Since then, she has excluded me and my dc from everything possible. And it's really hard not to react or take offence. But you really do just have to keep strong, take a step back and see it for what it is. Stay strong, don't react to pettiness and keep smiling. And concentrate on the more grown up, genuine types.