To be terrified of having a girl?

[AnneNonimousLetterToSanta]

I have on DS who was unplanned. When I found out I was pregnant I was secretly praying for a boy. I didn't tell anybody incase he was a girl, but when I had my scan I was so so relieved.

I now have a DP who I love a lot, and would love to add to our family and have his children one day. But I am hesitant because I am terrified of having a girl.

This is not because I don't like girls, I love them. Love the idea of having a daughter, a baby one and a grown up one! I'm just so scared I would fuck it all up.

I was a mess from the ages of I would say 10-20. I was off the rails, miserable, drinking and smoking and sleeping around. I hated myself. It obviously is still an issue within me but I have come very far since having DS.

My parents are still together, tried their best, didn't do anything awful I could put my finger on and say 'this is why I am like this' so how the fuck would I know what I needed to not do? We learn how to be parents from our own dont we? So I'm scared I lack the skills to raise a daughter to not be how I was. I would never want my daughter to go through what I did.

How do you avoid it? Is there anything you can actually do or was it just my parents bad luck?

Sorry for the swearing

Funny cos I was scared shitless about having a boy, just because I feel they're more vulnerable. But we've got one, and although I did have a bit of a difficult time when I first found out he was a boy, once he was here, a lot of those fears and worries disappeared. I still worry about it tbh, but I'm a worrywart about both of them now, dd and DS.

oh, you little flower!

when you have your girl, hug her and keep her close to you. tell her, when you bath her, how much you love her arms, legs, back, shoulderblades etc. praise her and tell her how much mummy loves her. explain to her about the world, as examples present themselves.

she won't go off the rails. you'll be a great mum to a lovely daughter. trust yourself.

I didn't want a boy because I had no experience of them as kids so I was lucky as I had twin girls. I they had been boys I think I would have got on with it and have converted to the boy camp ;-)

Thank you all so much for your votes of confidence and reassurance.

peaceandlovebunny oh you've made me tear up now! Thank you

Anne stay strong and you will get through it xx

Your DD is an individual. She is her own person.