to think its a bit tight when parents count a school dinner as THE main meal of the day

[MariahScarey]

all other things being equal (money activities etc)

have a colleague who makes her kids have sandwiches for tea " as they eat at school"

they have money, they can cook - is this laziness?
I know they wont starve or out, but I wouldnt count a tiny school meal that is then burned off as a main meal.

USUAL DISCLAIMERS

Yes there are worse things to worry to about
YEs its none of my business
Yes I am judging

I think there's quite a lot of smuggery on this thread.

Are people who send their children to school with sandwiches for a packed lunch also horrible mean and lazy? As those children also only have one hot meal a day, the poor deprived darlings.

When I've been abroad on holiday we've always gone out in the evening for dinner, and it's always hot and cooked.
Mulleredwines, my ds qualifies for free school meals too.
It's nothing to be ashamed off. It does piss me off though as they have a good choice there, and he sometimes comes back saying he didn't bother.
Then he just has to bloody help himself to a pot noodle or a frozen pizza, unless I'm cooking.

No flowery. because presumably their packed lunches are fairly substantial and fresh.

Its got nothing to do with food being hot or not. Just that school dinners tend to be not very filling, or nutritious, so children do actually need to eat meat/protein, vegetables the rest of the time.

And I hardly think saying that you prefer to feed your kids proper food is smug. If you think that maybe you have set the bar too low..?

You're sounding pretty smug at the moment, yep!

But feel free to bask in the knowledge that your 'bar' of standards for caring for your children is higher than mine, I'm glad to help.

Yep, looks like my prediction was right.

You all win the better than a random selection of other people award. Congratulations!

Oh wait, it doesn't it exist.

'school dinners tend to be not very filling, or nutritious'

I'm always surprised that people who feel that pay for their DC to have them.

I'm finding this thread pretty amusing, and fortunately because I know better than to worry about what randoms on the Internet think of my parenting, and because I know my boys are happy, healthy and well-fed, it doesn't worry me at all.

But there are bound to be parents on MN who genuinely struggle to hold it together, and find parenting really difficult for whatever reason. And some of the comments on this thread might make them feel even worse than they already do, and worry even more that they are letting their kids down, or are being judged by other mums.

At primary they didn't need hot lunch ans hot dinner at home, DD2 wouldn't eat it anyway.

At secondary I always assume they'll want hot food because they do all sorts at lunch time and often grab sandwiches at break to eat on the way to waving hockey sticks and singing.

Most British sandwiches are a sad affair and are one of the things that horrify and baffle foreigners here.
Nice 'sandwiches' as mentioned above, are usually not very English: ciabatta, bagel, baguette

I still wouldn't usually give my kids sarnies for tea, even posh ones, but that's probably a cultural thing, it would just never occur to me to do it. A school mum once mentioned jam sandwiches and I realised I'd never in their lives made the kids one of those

Soup is not a sandwich, so I'm a bit puzzled by those who are being defensive about feeding their children soup.

Btw 2 slices of bread is your child's entire daily salt allowance (if it's the usually excuse for bread we sell in the UK)

The regulations about school dinners don't apply in Scotland, hence that blog and the dire state of food being served up there. All very well saying you don't care about Scottish children' diet cos their parents could just make them a sandwich, but why should those on fsm have to eat crap just cos their parents are poor?

Surely it depends on the quality of the school meals? If the parent is happy that the child is eating a decent meal at lunch time then why wouldn't sandwiches [along with soup, yoghurts etc]be sufficient in the evening? I personally can't think of anything worse than eating 2 cooked meals in one day.
And sandwiches aren't 'sad'. They are a perfectly adequate way of serving food.
If the school meals are crap, then why pay for them? Surely a packed lunch would be a much better option.

I know what you mean flowery. It's ridiculous and pretty mean spirited.

Nobody should feel bad about this dinner v lunch v hot v cold business. I posted I thought it was mean to give sandwiches at tea time that is evening meal time. But a sandwich to me is a piece of bread with cheese or ham which I wouldn't have liked for my tea. But if that's all a child wants fair enough. I wouldn't count pizza's the same as a sandwich.

Nobody should feel bad about this dinner v lunch v hot v cold business. exactly.

As long as the DC are getting the nutrients they need does it matter whether its hot or cold or whether they eat it at lunchtime or in the evening.

This thread reminds me of the obsession of having carbs with every meal...

I am afraid that I am ione of those tight parents who counts the school dinner as the main meal of the day.

It is hot, two courses and they often eat more than they would at home, and try new food.

For tea, we have soup and a roll with fruit and yogurt for pudding, sandwiches toasted or otherwise and other things like that, sometimes stew or jacket potato or pasta depending what I am cooking for the youngest for tea, but they often leave a lot of their tea as they are still full from lunch.

Snacks in the evening is to help themselves from the fruit bowl.

My children are healthy, active and slim, and I don't judge those parents who give their children a packed lunch and don't expect to be judged for what I give my children for tea.

I dont pay for school dinners. Ds's dad does. He wont give the money to me, but will pay the school, so I take it. I am too poor to not take it.

I pay for school dinners. I'm happy enough with the quality but they're not very filling, partly cos the kids are in a rush to go out and play. They're better than my effort at packed lunch would be though - which would be cheese, ham or cheese and ham sandwich. Mumsnet is full of people who make amazing packed lunches but I am not one of those people. It would be sandwiches every day and I don't think anyone should have to eat those every day, for lunch or dinner.

Loshad - teenagers are a very different story to small children. Of course teens need more food. But I fail to see how I'm a bad parent because I choose not to cook for my 4 and 7 yo DDs.

To all the other working mums - don't your after-school clubs/childminder feed your children anyway? They get sandwiches/wraps or beans on toast there at around 4:15. Why on earth would they need another meal after that?

Phew, just googled and I am not alone. Only one in a hundred school packed lunches are healthy

www.nhs.uk/news/2010/01January/Pages/Packed-lunches-mostly-unhealthy.aspx

I'm another sad person. We're even about to have a tea of sandwiches now as we had a hot (roast) dinner with pudding earlier and that suits us.

You can enjoy several sandwiches and have different fillings and sides with them. I guess it feels homely to me as that was how I was brought up (both parents were teachers and we all had school dinners)

None of us starve and I think we have a pretty good diet.

Can I ask OP do you have a full hot meal followed by pudding at lunch time and again at dinner time?

IMO one meal like this a day is fine, smaller meals either side, and to me it makes sense to have that largest meal in the middle of the day when you will be using up more energy, than at the end of the day just before you go to bed.

Childhood obesity is a massive problem and your friend sounds very sensible to me.

BTW my children had a large lunch today (no pudding) and have just had a bowl of veg soup for tea.

They don't do school dinners at their school but if they did, they would have that with something smaller at home.

I work. We don't get home until 6, 6:15 depending on traffic and dd2 is 4 so needs to be in bed by 7:30. There is no time for an evening hot meal. They have school dinners and I send a packed tea of sandwich, yoghurt, fruit and a flapjack or something to their childminder, except Monday when I don't work so I cook, or Friday when Granny gives them jacket potato or mac and cheese. And this makes me a bad parent??

ffs. Surely this cannot be another stick to beat parents with.
One cooked meal, one snacky meal. Just fine!

Why is there such an obsession with 'hot' meals - my DS has a packed lunch and at least four/five times a week has a 'cold' evening meal ie: bread/ham/salad/fruit - he loves that sort of food, if I offered him a traditional roast followed by a pudding and custard he would turn his nose up. I much prefer eating like that too with a couple of glasses of wine, DS is perfectly healthy, plays sport at county level etc etc.

It doesn't matter if the food is hot or cold, what matter is if it is nutritious and from the school meals I have seen (I know there are some good ones out there) at the five different schools my DS has been I would not want him to eat them - and I certainly wouldn't - hideous memories of the 'invite your mum to lunch experience'.

Mullered

How on earth do you qualify for free school meals? If you work, wtc automatically means you don't qualify.