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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its a bit tight when parents count a school dinner as THE main meal of the day

468 replies

MariahScarey · 16/12/2012 12:34

all other things being equal (money activities etc)

have a colleague who makes her kids have sandwiches for tea " as they eat at school"

they have money, they can cook - is this laziness?
I know they wont starve or out, but I wouldnt count a tiny school meal that is then burned off as a main meal.

USUAL DISCLAIMERS

Yes there are worse things to worry to about
YEs its none of my business
Yes I am judging

OP posts:
ReshapeWhileDashingThroTheSnow · 18/12/2012 14:21

Well, I am considering myself Chastised. I AM that sluttish mother who serves her sons eggy bread and beans ('a slightly crap meal') after either a school lunch or packed lunch.

wordfactory · 18/12/2012 14:31

Can I assume that those who serve snack/sandwich teas have small children?

It seems to me that once out of primary school, DC's choices at lunch time can be a little eclectic. Also, a strapping teen who runs several miles a day will need to come home to somehting much more substantial than a cheese sandwich and some grapes!

Picturesinthefirelight · 18/12/2012 14:39

Dd was off sick yesterday so to use last week as an example

School dinner was chicken tikka baguette and flapjack for pudding
Tea was soup and bread yoghurt for after

The day before school dinner was sausage, mash & veg with fruit & yoghurt for pudding
Tea was tuna sandwich, baby bel & crisps. (She doesn't like salad)
Ds had turkey sandwich crisis & cucumber.

fantasticfanjo · 18/12/2012 14:40

Would the OP consider someone who didn't provide a cooked meal (or school dinner)at lunch time mean ?

I really cant see the difference between Having a Packed lunch at lunch time and a cooked dinner in the evening or reversing the meals and having Cooked lunch and the equivalent of a packed lunch ie sandwiches etc in the evening.

mercibucket · 18/12/2012 14:45

I think I'm most disturbed by the idea of eating sandwiches for tea myself. I would be very (sad face) if that was for tea. Therefore, the kids by default also get a, imo, nice cooked tea.
In honour of this thread though, yesterday I did toasted cheese sandwiches for the kids and me and dh had a steak (kids don't like it). Felt quite proud to be doing things the British way.

Hobbitation · 18/12/2012 14:49

Can I assume that those who serve snack/sandwich teas have small children?

That's the point I made, mine are 7 and 3, don't do massive meals really. I would do them a cooked meal every night if they were going to be able to eat it after a school dinner. I did actually try that for a while as I was used to doing it that way but there was so much wasted food.

flowerytaleofNewYork · 18/12/2012 14:58

Yes mine are small, 5 and 3.

Typical tea for them would be cheese sandwiches, jam sandwiches, or beans on toast for DS2 who is a bean fiend, with cucumber sticks, tomatoes, maybe a couple of crackers or something, then fruit for afters.

DS1 sometimes has eggy bread but really he loves sandwiches.

JenaiMathis · 18/12/2012 15:11

It seems to me that children eat an awful lot of bread. And carbs generally for that matter; some of them seem to be constantly nibbling on breadsticks, crisps, sandwiches after having cereals for breakfast. Then they eat pasta for dinner.

That's not a criticism by the way, I'm quite sure my own ds did when he was smaller and tonight we are having pasta for dinner.

Only children I know who are getting overweight never seem to eat proper meals. Then they get topped up on cereal and yogurt Likewise, IfNot

Hobbitation · 18/12/2012 15:15

They need a lot of carbs though if they are running about. Carbs aren't evil. Two slices of 50/50 bread is 4g of fibre, going some way towards their daily requirement.

mercibucket · 18/12/2012 15:41

2 slices of bread is the daily salt allowance for, I think, an older child, not a younger child. So unless they get no other salt in their diet, they are probably well over their recommended daily allowance

I say this with no sense of smuggery as my eldsest scoffs bread like mad, but I was shocked when I found out.

Imagine how much salt in a cheese sandwich!

GreatCongas · 18/12/2012 15:42

Depends what bread merci
I make my own and there's no way it has that much salt. Half a teaspoon per loaf if I remember to put it in

motherinferior · 18/12/2012 20:24

There's no real basis for saying one should eat one's main meal at lunchtime. Calories are calories: we take them in, we burn them off. It's a myth that eating them later somehow stores them up in a different way from calories eaten earlier. The point is how much you eat over the course of a day.

Which, if someone told me had to be an institutionally-provided meal (spot on, Wordfactory, even if school dinners were nice they'd still be mass-produced) at lunchtime, would make me profoundly sad.

I like dinner in the evening. I like eating dinner in the evening with my children. Possibly involving lots of carbs Grin

AmberSocks · 18/12/2012 20:40

its dinner not tea.

Jossysgiants · 18/12/2012 20:55

YABU. I do this one day a week when Dc have a school dinner, and we have activities after school. They have sandwiches, fruit etc. in front of the telly as well. Xmas ShockThey enjoy it and I don't have to rush. It had never even occurred to me that this could be considered tight.

JenaiMathis · 18/12/2012 20:57

Well, tonight I cooked a proper dinner, as always. Dp and ds fell out just as I was carving and quite frankly I wish I'd left the the buggers to make some bloody sandwiches for themselves Angry Hmm

goingupinfairylights · 18/12/2012 21:03

Oh dear I'm in the lazy mum category, my two DS have school dinners and then they have snack type teas at home, like omelettes, soups, jackets, sarnies, but then again sometimes I put a pot on with casserole or pasta dish -

I just need quick and easy teas as I walk in the door after they stay late at school and we only have a short time period to have family time and I for one do not want to spend it chopping veg, and cooking meals from scratch.

I do always ask them what they had at school, so I make sure i sort of double up on veg or fruit...

flippinada · 18/12/2012 21:06

Well, no they don't - but you are more likely to burn calories off during the day when you are busy than during the evening when you are more likely to be less active.

I'm pretty sure that's the logic behind eating more at breakfast and lunchtime, which is common sense, really.

This is just by way of illustrating that feeding your children a light meal in the evening is not at all awful, despite all the sad-facing about the poor deprived kiddies who only get sarnies for tea.

twizzlestix · 18/12/2012 21:10

At my school, the children's meals are tiny. They are also revolting therefore the children barely eat any of it. They are very reminiscent if the meals on this blog never seconds Think it's same catering company actually!

girliefriend · 18/12/2012 21:13

I am so confused at this allegation that I am in some way a bad mother because my dd only has one cooked meal a day Confused

I work 3 days a week on these days (mon, tues, wed) dd 6yo has a school dinner, these are all cooked at the school and are similar to what I would cook for her at home. She then has her tea at the cm house which I provide. This is usually sandwich, fruit and a treat of some sort (crisps or a biscuit)

She is the perfect height and weight and fit as a fiddle. Op judge away and jog on!!! Grin

bubbles1231 · 18/12/2012 21:14

My children have school meals(primary). On some days it is a full roast dinner with pudding and custard. They don't need another cooked meal after that lot.

dementedma · 18/12/2012 21:18

All children are different. Ds is 11 and very tall but also fat. He is built like a brick shithouse and hates all sports, preferring to read or do science stuff. I know he doesnt get exercise but its rather difficult to enforce when he refuses to participate. However, he refuses to have any lunch at school, hot or cold, so goes from breakfast to dinner with nothing in between.he has one hot meal a day and is still very sturdy.

singledadof2 · 18/12/2012 21:21

I'd like to ask of the parents that do a sandwich tea for their kids is this meal the same for everyone in the family? Do you not all sit down and have dinner together?
I know that's difficult with teenagers.

My DS 10 has packed lunch at school, snacks when he gets home and then a big evening meal.
However my DD 15 WILL NOT eat lunch and empties the fridge when she gets home. My food is poison ( so she says).

GoldenGreen · 18/12/2012 21:27

Just looked up the salt content of bread. It averages 1.1g per two thick slices. Toddlers should have no more than 2g per day - there's room there for a daily sandwich!

girliefriend · 18/12/2012 21:36

When my dd has sandwiches for tea we don't eat together, this only happens 3 days a week. She has her tea at the cm and then by the time we get home its nearly 6pm, do her reading, bath, some telly and bed by 7.30pm.

I have my dinner once she is in bed.

TreadOnTheCracks · 18/12/2012 21:37

Mine have a hot school dinner a couple of times a week, so they can just have beans on toast or a sandwich on busy (beavers, swimming etc) evenings where we can't eat together as a family.

They are young so I'd rather get them to bed at a reasonable time rather than they have two hot meals.

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