AIBU to wean a 6mth old off his dummy?

[Victoria2002]

DS4.5m has had a dummy since 3weeks old when I started using one (out of desperation)! Although it definitely comforts him, he's never been any good at keeping it in his mouth eg; if he's vertical it drops out, and when he falls asleep it drops out and he wakes looking for it after 30mins. For this reason I tried not to use it at night and have been giving the poor child mixed messages by using it in the day for car journeys (he hates his car seat) and naps, but not using it at night.
At night he wakes every two hours, and feeds for a few minutes (he can get a full feed in this time), then nods off again. I'm pretty sure this is just habit/comfort feeding and would like to try to sleep train him at 6 months. I suspect I need to give up the dummy in the day to sleep train him successfully. Does anyone have experience of this? I would ideally not do both at the same time, but wean him off the dummy (how)? then try sleep-training to see if he can learn to sleep for longer stretches.
He tries sometimes to suck his fingers but he puts them so far into his throat he gags and even vomits sometimes.
Should say also I hate the dummy for lots of other reasons like wonky teeth/speech/hygiene etc
Any experience please?
I will also post in sleep section.

No advice as I let mine have a dummy for as long as he wanted as I didn't want him sucking his thumb.

p.s. He hasn't got wonky teeth, nor a speech problem and has survived any hygiene issues.

I dont think so, we did similar around that time, as docs advised us to get rid of dummies when the first tooth arrived. He didnt seem to miss it much and hasnt started sucking his thumb or anything else. (2years 4 months)

I feel sorry for our friends whose 2year olds still have them - it is never a "good" time to.get rid but I have a feeling it was easier for us than it will be for them.

Thank you blackcurrants, I think at 2 or 3 you can persuade/bribe a child into giving it up (if it's the right time), but it's a bit now-or-never if I don't do it soon.

unreasonable. the natural urge to suck continues to six years old, which is why that is the global norm for breastfeeding.

yes, but kids are not normally seen trying to talk with Mum's breast in their mouth....

one of my pet hates, always want to say 'you'd be much more understandable if you took that thing out of your mouth'. Grit teeth, walk on.

At 16mo I was sick of dd using it to get to sleep (never used otherwise) and she was starting to ask for it ithe day, so I binned them. Put her down for a nap and that was it, no problems! She sees them now and says "dummy for baby" as that's what I taught her....that they went to the little babies. Just take the plunge, they are horrible!

Go for it. I just ditched DS's dummies and he is 7 months. I've been patting him to sleep instead and there was a fair bit of crying the first time (while I stayed patting him) but it wasn't too bad. And his sleep has improved although that could of course be a coincidence. He was rubbish at using the dummy though - loved it when it was in but needed it popping back in constantly - so I'd made the decision that it would be better to get rid of it.

the error is in giving a dummy in the first place. if you were sick, would you expect your dp to give you a plastic hand to hold, instead of his own?

Its not an 'error' to give a dummy. Is thumb sucking 'wrong'?

Peace if my DH wanted to hold my hand every bloody minute, then yes, I would give him a plastic hand.

OP we got rid of the dummy around the 6 month mark for the same reasons as you're thinking of doing it for, and glad we did. She quickly got used to not having it.

No advice sorry but my one month old has a dummy and I will be weaning him off it at six months for similar reasons to you. Also can't stand the sight of 3 or 4 year olds walking around with a dummy in their mouths.

Forgot to add, OP, that we did a (minor) amount of sleep training at the same time (basically I didn't breastfeed him to sleep every time he woke, DH did some patting) and it was a good move for us. DS wasn't a great sleeper but not having the dummy to lose seemed to help.

I left my Ds with his till he was about a year old, then it had to be kept in his bed, he ditched it about age 2.5 and never sucked his thumb, lovely teeth.
Dd lost hers before 6 months and took up the thumb, she's 7 and we have finally just broke the habit, her teeth are affect as is her speech. I'd keep the dummy so you can wean them off it instead of letting them go onto a thumb that you will have no control over.

peace you can breastfeed your six year old while driving?! Good mumskills!

I never could, Victoria - nor while he was at daycare and I was at work, funnily enough. And yet I breastfed him very happily for 2 years! :)

DD only ever had it for sleeping in her cot/bed. She didn't have one until she was 6 months.
She still has it at bedtime (3.5) & she's going to give it up after Christmas.
She speaks just fine, & has since she was 17 months & has never had it in her mouth unless going to sleep.
At her 2 yr check the HV said that you could tell she was a child who had never had a dummy due to her good language skills!
She wakes up & puts it under her pillow & then just gets on with her day!!

DD had dummy until 5/6. Her teeth are beautiful and she can talk properly :D Sh e loved it and it soothed her. Everyone was happy.

YANBU, you as his parents should make the decision and if you want to wean him and you think you can then go for it! The only thing that would worry me would be if it were substituted for his thumb. I had a dummy and have lovely straight teeth etc and was off it by 4.5 (nights only from 18months as I went to special school by that age) Dsis however, was a thumb sucker and still did it in the day and at secondary school until about 17.5, she still does it now when she's not 'concentrating' and it makes me heave. 'The Thumb' as the family call it, is all wrinkled and withered. It drove poor DM to distraction spending £££ on creams and varnishes and so on.

At least you can take a dummy away!