To be jealous of my friend's night out?

[gail734]

I had my gorgeous DD on 11th July, which means she's five months old now. My friend from university had her DD just two weeks before mine arrived. We live 200 miles apart, but it was lovely to have a preggers friend who was at exactly the same stage. Both are first babies. This morning I woke up to see, on Facebook, lovely photos of my friend enjoying a Christmas night out with her workmates. It's not a nice feeling, but I'm green with envy. I am nowhere near that stage. I'm still EB, so I've never been away from this girl for more than an hour. Looking at my friend's photos I feel like a bit of a failure, like I've been left behind, strangely hurt and plain old jealous. AIB mental?

No everyone is different, don't compare your self toothless.
Do you want a night out ? Or a day out if it would be easier, could you express milk for your dd ?

Compare yourself to others DYAC

Of course you're not being unreasonable but you can do that too!

Making the necessary preparation and then go have fun!

Don't compare. You are not unreasonable for feeling a little bit jealous, but then perhaps she is jealous of you for other reasons, who knows. Having a baby is wonderful and horribly difficult all at the same time.

BFing is an amazing thing and something that you will feel very proud of when you eventually finish (well I did anyway!). It is also immensely frustrating and I found that about once every 4-6 weeks I had a bit of a meltdown about being 'tied' to the baby whilst everyone else could have a life. DD is now 3, and looking back it really is such a short space of time out of my whole lift, I don't regret not going out a single minute.

Hmmm.... horribly wasn't the right word there, but you know what I mean!

Haha, Princess! Sometimes I feel like I will be toothless by the time this is all over! Thanks for your reassurance, everyone. I know I must try expressing but I've actually never done it! The thing is, she's so hungry and demanding now that I wonder where the "extra" milk will come from. What if I get it into a bottle and then she won't take it from the bottle? I plan to start solids from six months anyway. Find the whole process confusing, so it's tempting to stick to what I know. My friend couldn't BF at all. She really tried and was so upset when it didn't work, but she ended up with cracked and bleeding nipples so went onto bottles at about two weeks. I know she felt really bad at the time, but now she has a relatively independent baby and a LIFE!

Know what you mean - I've had one night out in nearly 4 years! Weaned ds1 at 2 then got pregnant again and now bf toddler who shows no signs of wanting to stop and who won't drink expressed milk cos I left it too long to train him

Not unreasonable to be jealous, no. It'd be unreasonable to let it affect your friendship though, so think carefully.

Oh no, Whirliwig - how long is too long? And kinky - I wouldn't mention it to the object of my jealousy. I'll be seeing her at Christmas with the baby up my jumper. Can others remember how old their DC were when they had a firts proper night out?

Honestly DD was 2 and a half. I had other nights out, but not big ones and always wanted to come home by about 9 pm before that!

DS1 was 3 weeks old when I went out for a friends 40th birthday. I was breastfeeding him, I expressed a bottle just in case but he didn't need it as was home within 3 hours as was quite tired. He was happy to take a bottle as was in intensive care for a week when he was born so took a bottle, syringe, breast anything really so he wasn't fussy.

I guess I was lucky as DS fed every 3-4 hours when I was breastfeeding so I never really had any issues going out.

YANBU to feel jealous but it is your choice really and I am sure your friend would have loved to be able to breastfeed longer so she probably feels jealous of you too.

I totally know what you mean.

If I want to go out I have to spend a week expressing in the run up to have enough.. I last went out in October when she was 2 months old and every evening when she was sleeping I had to spend about an hour pumping to get 4oz, did that every night for a chuffin week. I thought that would be TOO MUCH milk if anything but when I got home (after 4 hours) she was having the last bit She is massive though and very greedy. I wanted to ebf her for 12 months but I think i'd lose it.. I mean its lovely, she is lovely but argh.. She is hooked on what seems all day and I feel like I have no life!

So no, you are not alone. Try expressing and getting DH to feed just to see how she takes to the bottle first. Hopefully well and then express enough so you can go out one time. It is very important to have time for yourself too

Breast feeding or not, I bet that night out wasn't all it seemed.

I bet she was knackered by 9pm and wanted to go home but didn't want to seem like a spoilsport.

I have 4 DC's and have had 2 who won't take expressed milk and 2 that did. I am also a relatively young mum, but I didn't feel right going out untill the babies were at least 18 months. I just felt so tired all the time.

Now my youngest is 3 and I go out once a month and everything is back to normal. :)

Ds was 6 weeks on my first night out and e bf. I like going out!

First night out by myself was last night. Also bfing, but expressed, and was only gone about 3hours.