to be annoyed by competitive relatives?

[ophelia275]

Had some relatives over who have 2 dc. Their 3 year old is the same height as my 5 year old and we always get comments about it as though genetics can be altered (their families is very tall and my family is very small so of course ds is going to be on the small side!).

Also, lots of comments (by elderly relative) that she has never seen a baby crawl at 6 months old (as their dc is). I said, so did our youngest ds. I know I shouldn't have risen to the bait and regretted it afterwards. Anyway, after I said that, the dad of the child said that their oldest son was crawling at 4 months and later he said that their six month old was already saying words clearly.

I know I shouldn't rise to the bait from competitive parents and would normally just ignore these comments but am I being stupid to feel I had to comment back?

Their children are also not allowed any sweets in case it turns them into serial killers or something (I have been lectured by my sil about how skinny my son is and how he doesn't eat properly).

You sound equally. I would try and find another topic of conversation.

Oops meant you sound equally as bad as one another.

Oh, just have some fun.

Your 5 year old is learning Mandarin, right?

Do know how you feel. I get lectured by someone last week about the perils of allowing my 4 year old Play on a Wii by a person who let's her dcs stay up till 2 in morning. Both parents also smoke pot

The problem with commenting back is that it just fuels the competition.

The only way to stem it is to just smile sweetly, say 'really?' in a distracted sort of way and talk about something else.

Just say "oh right", and move the conversation on.

Its only a competition if you are both involved. Its just them boasting if you don't rise to it.

Smile and ignore. Do not get sucked into the madness.

YANBU! My SIL is exactly the same. She is extremely competitive with everyone over everything so I know I shouldn't take it personally but it's hard not take it that way. The problem with her 'boasting' is that she puts us/our children/achievements down in an underhand way to make herself the 'winner'. I HATE being in her company for any length of time for this reason and always leave feeling very deflated.

She also used her babies' bigger than average weight to show off and it used to really rile me as its hardly an achievement! Also, if she can't win by being 'best' she has to win by being 'worst' - she has it so much harder than anyone else etc. Sorry, that turned into a personal rant .

I know people here are saying YAbu but I can sympathise as being in the company of someone like this, you do feel like you have to 'justify' yourself which admittedly just adds fuel to the fire.

I have found the best way to deal with people like this is to just ignore them. Say 'that's nice' and change the conversation quickly.