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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really fucked off with my so called fucking friends

26 replies

Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 15:43

I am the only single person left in our group of friends. We have all been close for between 10 and 15 years. Most have married or coupled off within the group and had children etc so I count the husbands and partners of my girlfriends to be my friends too. I left a violent relationship in February and was temporarily homeless until the council house me in April. Not one of them has stepped foot in my flat despite numerous invites. I try to attend get togethers as often as I can but it does depress me sometimes (plus I'm bi polar and i suffer horrific lows) when I am seen to not be making an effort with the group some of them have been known to sulk with me.....

Anyhow we had a group Xmas meal arranged yesterday like every year and there wa going to be about 13 of us (me bein number 13) I did a dot of Xmas shopping after getting 300 wages early and spent about 50 In town. I came home got ready to go out and went to transfer some money from my day bag in to my clutch to discover my purse had gone! Hunted high and low and no sign, so either lost or stolen with 250 cash Inside. Gutted. So I sent a message on the group Facebook post that was started to plan the eve explaining I couldn't attend and why, said sorry and asked if anyone would like to have a drink at mine next week one eve.

Not a single fucking reply.

OP posts:
SoleSource · 15/12/2012 15:46

Were they online?

Oh gosh. How will you survive? :( so sorry xx

Original poster
Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 15:46

It's showing that the message has been seen by most of them.....

My lovely mum is going to help me out thank god

OP posts:
SoleSource · 15/12/2012 15:48

:(

Selfish, uncaring bastards.

What do you feel like doing?

When did you post?

everlong · 15/12/2012 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Northernexile · 15/12/2012 15:49

God that's crap! The 6 couples should have had a quick whip round so you could still go.

TeeElfOnTeeShelf · 15/12/2012 15:49

And you think these people are your friends? They aren't.

icovetthee · 15/12/2012 15:50

Your friends sound horrendous. I have one friend like you describe but now she's much more of an acquaintance.

Do you have any friends outside of this circle?

CajaDeLaMemoria · 15/12/2012 15:50

Remember that you don't need to have actually looked at the post to be shown as seeing it....If you are going by the "seen by 5 people" thing on Facebook.

You just need to have Facebook open in a tab, and it'll show you've seen it, even if you haven't looked at Facebook that session.

Hopefully that means they didn't see it, rather than that they just didn't respond.

I'm really sorry :(

Original poster
Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 15:51

I have no idea I think it's thoughtlessness mixed with he fact that they do lots of coupley things together that they think I'm clueless about without inviting me ( I think they don't want ME to feel uncomfortable Hmm) anyway so what's the difference this time

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 15:52

I have got one close work friend and that's all. Mostly I feel like I really don't have any friends and it makes me so sad when the fuck did I end up like this!?

OP posts:
mellowcat · 15/12/2012 15:55

Thats really sad, I think you should have a go at making some new friends. Really hope your money turns up.

TheSecondComing · 15/12/2012 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 16:07

I think I will have to. The thing is I never go anywhere except work!! God my life's sad am only 29!!

OP posts:
Badvocsanta · 15/12/2012 16:09

It's not unusual Charlie...
I turned 40 this year and have I would say 2 close friends and the rest are people I like but who are really just acquaintances...
I hope someone hands your purse in.
But I think it may be time to accept these people are not your friends :(

Pancakeflipper · 15/12/2012 16:09

If they don't respond soon kindly then I think you might conclude you are a hanger on in the group. So you can either continue to be a hanger con and accept the consequences that they don't give damn when things are crap for you. Or you gradually start to build up a new network of friends.

Have you contacted the police? Contacted the shops/places you were at before losing the purse? I hope you find it and sorry your friends were disinterested.

Wishfulmakeupping · 15/12/2012 16:10

I'm sorry they sound crap and you sound lovely, think others are right focus on making some nice new friends next year -you deserve better

TheSecondComing · 15/12/2012 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource · 15/12/2012 16:18

Hey Charlie

In the new year you could use and/or advertise this site.

www.meetup.com

Have a browse x

Original poster
Charliefarlie1192 · 15/12/2012 16:57

I'm between Liverpool and chester. I was in chester shopping it was rammed And I know I had it and put it away in last shop I was in so I guess it happened i the street. My bags a stupid across the body type I probably hadn't zipped it up! Blush

OP posts:
vintageviolets · 15/12/2012 17:07

You should ring the police station & the last shop you were in, they may have it.

I was in Asda at customer services & the man in front asked customer services if they had found a wallet.

The man behind the counter opened a plastic box full of wallets!

Im still baffled why Asda hadn't handed them in to the police?
I should have asked.

KittyFane1 · 15/12/2012 17:35

I'm so sorry you have lost your money but your friends might not be on FB right now :(

Heroine · 15/12/2012 17:39

Sorry to hear this, couples are bastards. It only takes one of them to express that they shouldn't do something honorable for the other to cave in.

When I was single my couple friends would charge single people for lifts such that the whole journey was more than paid for by 'externals' then when a few friends were in couples, even when I was friends with both, they would actively organise 'couples only' things in an effort to feel grown up, and then eventually they tried to decide what I thought before talking to me and then even argued with my own opinion of what I liked!

I think this was miserable of them, but in practice in your case I bet they are all just putting their heads in the sand. If one, even if you set it up with another friend to post saying 'this is awful, I can cover drinks for you' then I'm sure they will all tag on..

Couples magic is dangerous, but it can eat up the users!

HKat · 15/12/2012 18:10

That's awful Charlie what a crappy day :'( Has any of them replied yet? Maybe they are just shit friends but I would second what was said above about facebook settings, and how they might not have read your message yet....I'm rubbish about my settings and don't know what they mean half the time - apparently I have a green light which means I'm permanently opefor chat , much to my surprise! I hope that's the case anyway, and they're not just being arseholes. If they are, time to try and meet some different 'friends' in my opinion.

Emmielu · 15/12/2012 18:17

I wrote a post on here pretty much similar to yours a few weeks ago. I cant find the link but im hoping someone on here could try and find it for you. The only thing i can say im in the same boat as you with is the idea of asking friends to come over. It shouldnt have to be on occassion. It should be a literal "want to come over for some drinks next week?" and you should be able to feel confident that there will be some replies. What i have found out through the help on here and over the last few weeks where i've spent days crying over them is that when it comes to you being different to the others they do tend to feel uncomfortable and unsure on what to say. It took me going to one of the girls houses yesterday and standing in her kitchen telling her how she and the others made me feel for her to understand just how much i was struggling and that i needed help but just didnt know how to go about it. But sometimes it helps just to have your friends say "ok love, no problems lets do a drink or cuppa" and still feel included and wanted by your friends. x

HullaBalloo · 15/12/2012 18:29

Sorry to hear that your mates are being a bit crap, Charlie.

If your purse doesn't turn up then check whether you have any insurance that would cover the loss.