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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not buy photos for family next year?

45 replies

familyfun · 14/12/2012 22:05

this year we have bought a big set of school photos of dd and a set of dd with dd2 as we were allowed to take younger siblings. it cost £40.
out of this we took 2 photos, we have given the rest to mom, dad, pil, bil, bil, godparents etc, all of them see dd2 regularly and admire pics on wall (maybe just being polite) and parents say they could do with a new picture.
dad said, oh lovely, i'l file it away as i hate photos.
pil said, oh we lost the framed ones you gave us last year, we will have to buy another frame.
mom was pleased.

aibu to save the £40 next year as we really could have done without the expense but felt we had to give them all photos each.

OP posts:
BluelightsAndSirens · 14/12/2012 22:50

Ha ha, MN recognition by kidney stone Grin

I'm trying Wine because tramadol gives me a headache in the morning!

I'm feeling better today but bugger me, it was painful Sad

bumperella · 14/12/2012 23:00

Honestly, I'd give them nice snapshots in with a card, and save the £40. If the pics were instead of a Christmas present then that's a bit of an odd thing to do.
It is odd to give more distant relatives expensive photos of your children, as they're likely to get pinned onto kitchen notice board for a while then binned, surely?

Original poster
familyfun · 14/12/2012 23:07

no not instead of xmas presents, they all have presents, they were just in with cards.
last year they all accepted and said thanks, its only this year im told they hate photos, they lost last years, i wont bother infuture.

OP posts:
bumperella · 14/12/2012 23:27

It sounds pretty ungrateful of them, even if they see your DC's often and therefore aren't so fussed on having a photo it just sounds v ill-mannered of them.

CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 14/12/2012 23:33

I'd honestly just Send a snap. We're meaning to do this but haven't quite got around to it yet!

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 15/12/2012 02:12

I could understand sending them to grandparents but bil, godparents etc..??? School photos are fairly horrible anyway, with digital cameras most people can take much better photos in more interesting situations themselves. If you're sending someone a photo, it should be relevant to them, so a lovely photo of your kid with bil/godparent would probably be appreciated even if they chose not to display it, a random school photo of someone elses kid is just weird tbh.

EverythingsDozy · 15/12/2012 05:50

I have just recently spent a small fortune on a handful of graduation pictures. People will be getting them and they will be displaying them!!

YANBU, there isn't any point buying photos for people who are, essentially, ungrateful for them. I would proudly display my nephews school picture if I had one. I mean, they could just feign excitement, it isn't hard.

HollyBerryBush · 15/12/2012 06:05

Buy one photo, scan it, print on photographic paper.

Problem sorted

LoopsInHoops · 15/12/2012 06:22

When I graduated from uni I had been told by my foster mother that I had to have photos done (she was on holiday so didn't come, same as A level results...)

So I paid for the gown, went alone to the ceremony, paid for the photos and sent the bigger ones to her and my mum.

My mum lost hers, and foster mother has never displayed it, not even on the shelf that has her own and her daughters' graduation pictures.

I don't have a copy for myself, wish I had just got one for me (or not even gone, but anyway...)

peaceandlovebunny · 15/12/2012 08:02

why are you doing this? stop.
do send them photos of your dc doing their normal stuff, all the time. they'll be thrilled.

Skiffen · 15/12/2012 08:19

I have made photo calendars - amazingly cheaply on snapfish. My pil have no real interest in their Dgc so wouldn't not appreciate any expensive pics.

I love receiving pics of nieces and godchildren though.

ComposHat · 15/12/2012 08:22

I must be a grumpy sod, but I really wouldn't want to be presented with a near identical picture of my sister/brother in law, friend's kids year after year. It seems a bit like overkill. I certainly wouldn't go to the bother of framing them and putting them on my wall.

I think this may come into the category of 'your kids are the apple of your eye, not everyone else's so please don't get hurt when people aren't equally gushing about them.'

MammaTJ · 15/12/2012 08:26

My ILs were givena couple of photos of my DC but never ever displayed them, so I stopped. My DM seems to display my sisters DCs pics,but not mine. Are my children ugly? Grin

She actually sees more of them as they live in the same town.

seeker · 15/12/2012 08:33

Generally speaking school photos are horrible- I wouldn't want display school photos of my own children-why would I want to display anyone else's? And the big ones are so big- I do feel sorry for grandparents sometimes- their walls covered with giant posed photos when they'd probably much rather have some snapshots of the children doing normal stuff!

WaitingForMe · 15/12/2012 08:36

DHs family get framed pictures and put them up. I presume they like them. It rather predates me. We give to PIL GPIL and SIL (who has no kids) not aunts and uncles and we get none back.

I'd not do it for DM. I'll show her all the pictures of DSSs and DS and let her pick which she wants copies of.

I don't let DH buy school photos as they're awful. We got a photographer friend to do a shoot and have fantastic ones.

seeker · 15/12/2012 08:55

My mother had loads of grandchildren, a tiny flat and definite taste in art. She used to dread getting framed pictures which she felt she had to display. Dreaded it even more when she found out how much they cost!

I bought a nice A5 sized frame, then sent regular supply of pictures of the children doing things. That wqy she could change the picture regularly, and got much mor of an insight into their lives.

MyBaby1day · 15/12/2012 11:11

I LOVE professional photo's and can't understand it. We hardly have any family and always hope friends will send me them of their children (can't wait until I have a child of my own) but even then it's nice!. He's been miserable!.

Guitargirl · 15/12/2012 11:19

We get the smallest school ones for extended family and a larger framed one for my parents. We also have a tradition of taking our own photos of the DCs in front of our Christmas tree and putting them in cards to send out. We have friends who do the same with their kids, I think it's lovely to see how they all grow and change from one year to the next.

TheSecondComing · 15/12/2012 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 15/12/2012 11:30

Yep, don't bother, buy one for your mum if you think she'll want one next year, but save your money.

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