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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously annoyed with the school over my daughters missing items?

59 replies

MrsFlibble · 14/12/2012 15:56

Seriously, this is bugging me, that every week since the start of term, my dd (Shes 5) has had items go missing, it can vary from:

Glasses
PE Kit
Uniform
shoes

This week her shoe has gone missing, and after 30 mins searching with a teacher and my ex MIL, its nowhere to be seen, AIBU over this, because im seriously getting hacked off it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsFlibble · 14/12/2012 18:10

I think i needed to have a rant, so annoying.

Also i like to think that someone wouldnt steal just one shoe, everything else shes lost always turns up after i look, because her looking means, look for 2 seconds and then say she cant find it.

OP posts:
EvilTwins · 14/12/2012 19:02

When my DTDs were little, we used to go to a twins group, which I helped to run. One week, after most people had gone, we were putting things away, and one of my girls discovered she'd lost one shoe (they were at the age where they took their shoes of constantly) We got all the toys out again, searched through the whole bloody lot and couldn't find it anywhere. I ended up having to buy a new pair Xmas Angry I had always been in the habit of putting name labels in shoes, so I was really cross about it. About a month later, it was returned - someone who didn't come to twins group very often had discovered it in the bottom of their pushchair. Not much use to me by that point...

Not very helpful, I know, but I do feel your pain where it comes to the loss of one shoe.

EvilTwins · 14/12/2012 19:03

"took their shoes OFF" Xmas Blush

Changeforthrday · 16/12/2012 10:39

A child at DSs school snuck into the backpacks at playtime and switched all the left shoes. Everyone went home with an odd pair of trainers. It was only the next day when some of the mums started saying 's/he came home with odd shoes yesterday' that they found out.

Startail · 16/12/2012 11:58

YANBU
And I'm sorry, but I do think it's the teachers/schools job to help.

Not simply looking for lost things, but having systems in place for PE and each part of the day that ensures far fewer things go missing.

Our schools totally inadequate cloak rooms meant everything ended up in the floor.

If dear teacher you find something in a stupid place get a child to return it if named and take it to lost property if it isn't.

On a serious note, helping DCs look after their things is a pastoral care duty and a very important one.
Some dyslexic and dyspraxic DC lose stuff on a regular basis, they do not do it to annoy.

In DD1's case a couple of boys realised this and started hiding her stuff. The teacher refused to believe she hadn't put her things back.

Initially I shouted at her too, but DD1 doesn't lie (she's very scatty, but not inclined to try and cover up).

She got really really upset and only took really tatty things to school.

Eventually, her lovely Friday teacher found things in the boys loos and the IT storage boxes and sorted the mess out.

Her main teacher didn't give a monkeys she was upset. She never saw there was anything out side teaching except delivering lessonsAngry

Shattereddreams · 16/12/2012 12:06

If a pair of glasses have gone missing then that's pretty serious in my opinion and the teacher should absolutely take an element of responsibility for a child losing their glasses.
And the one shoe thing? Totally out of order and teacher should help the hunt. Child would have only taken shoes off at the instruction of a teacher after all.

By mid year 1 though, the child should be responsible unless SEN.

Original poster
MrsFlibble · 16/12/2012 12:09

I will talk to the headmistress about getting DD help on fridays after PE, thats when things seem to disappear, probably its the last thing they do that day and all wanna go home.

OP posts:
heggiehog · 16/12/2012 14:29

"Not simply looking for lost things, but having systems in place for PE and each part of the day that ensures far fewer things go missing."

We have systems in place and things go missing anyway. It's what happens in a school with hundreds of young children, unfortunately. Even the named items have a habit of wandering off. Which I will never understand. If they are unnamed it's virtually impossible to return them to their owners again.

Which lesson would you like me to take out of the curriculum so that I can search for all the things that go missing, every single day?

Maybe we could get rid of history and have a Friday afternoon search time instead.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 16/12/2012 14:39

I was taking P1 for PE during the first few weeks of term. Even with strict systems in place (shoes on chairs, tie inside shoes, clothes over back of chairs), one wee girl managed to put on two pinafores!

She is quite a chubby child, and had put on another girl's pinafore but had only managed to get it as far as her waist, and then she'd put her own one on over the top!

It took a lot of hunting and thinking "Where could a pinafore disappear to?!" before I tracked it down.

I think a lot of stuff goes home with the children and the adults at home never notice, or the child empties their bag and shoves stuff they don't recognise at the back of a cupboard. Sad

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 16/12/2012 14:39

Child would have only taken shoes off at the instruction of a teacher after all.

Hahahahahaha if only!

heggiehog · 16/12/2012 14:45

"If a pair of glasses have gone missing then that's pretty serious in my opinion and the teacher should absolutely take an element of responsibility for a child losing their glasses. "

Why? Of course I would help look for the glasses but how on earth can I monitor when a child chooses to take off their glasses at lunch, in the toilet, in the play area etc?

ravenAK · 16/12/2012 14:49

I have a box in my form room in which my tutor group dump any PE kits, coats etc they don't want to lug around all day. I chuck any randomly abandoned items I find in my room in there too at the end of the day.

Each week, in tutor time Friday afternoon, I go through the box, ensure that every item is 1) identified by its owner & taken home 2) identified by its owner & put back in the box because it doesn't need to go home & has to be in school Monday 3) taken down to the office to the Lost Property office, where it sits unloved until it's either claimed or sent to the local charity shop.

There's at least three things in category (3) every week, & this is 12 year olds. With designer jackets. Maddening for their parents, I'm sure, but the answer has to be in training them young, not expecting the school to search high & low for their stuff!

That said, OP, if your dd has additional needs re: organisation I think it'd probably be NU to ask if someone can keep an eye on her when she's changing for PE.

peaceandlovebunny · 16/12/2012 14:54

look behind radiators. children used to hide my daughter's stuff there. the cleaner was a really nice woman and would always help us. the other staff were very unpleasant.

shushpenfold · 16/12/2012 14:57

My 12 yr old ds is able to walk into a room, ask where 'such and such' is, and when pointed out to him sitting on the floor approx 1 foot away, be entirely amazed....she's one of those unfortunately.... It may get better when she hits her 20s but I wouldn't bank on it!!!

trueblood1fan · 16/12/2012 15:07

gosh my son loses everything inc. his £40 blazer but never once did i think to blame the school?!

complexnumber · 16/12/2012 15:32

complexnumber how constructive of you.

Sorry.

But since you asked in the OP; YADBU.

Is that better?

trueblood1fan · 16/12/2012 16:04

lol complex - did you not know the whole school team is supposed to run after ops dc to make sure her precious dc dont lose anything - her dc is way to precious to look after their own things. to even consider blaming the school is very very very yavu. what is wrong with people on this forum picking at schools (the xmas meal one inc.) rather than looking at their own dc?! blood boils....

Original poster
MrsFlibble · 16/12/2012 16:09

trueblood1fan I was annoyed, had a rant, and got over it, never mentioned anything to the school about it.

No need to be rude about it.

OP posts:
trueblood1fan · 16/12/2012 16:21

your original op "seriously upset at the school' - you seem to only back down when 99% of the posters disagreed with you. just suprised you even started such an unreasonable thread in the first place. shame you didnt complain to the school ax wouldve loved to have seen their facesyou blaming THEM for YOUR dc losing things chuckles at op for being so silly.

peaceandlovebunny · 16/12/2012 16:24

mrsflibble, she's little, she might not be able to keep her stuff together or she might be being bullied. it isn't 'nothing to do with the school'. they are in loco parentis and should be taking a parent-like interest in her.

Original poster
MrsFlibble · 16/12/2012 16:27

True i started the thread when i was annoyed, its now sunday, hence not a annoyed and thinking clearly, im sorry for thinking this is place to have a rant obviously i was very wrong, i apologise for greatly, and will avoid making threads in the future.

OP posts:
trueblood1fan · 16/12/2012 16:29

as long as you realise that youre wrong :-)

Original poster
MrsFlibble · 16/12/2012 16:32

True your advice giving skills are lax, but your arrogance is huge, no wonder why people get put off coming back.

OP posts:
trueblood1fan · 16/12/2012 16:36

oh yes because im the one that blames everyone else for my dc wrong doings - oh no, thats right thats you lol :-) would rather be arrogant than deluded tbh ;-)

Original poster
MrsFlibble · 16/12/2012 16:40

I got annoyed over my daughter losing at school, i did not say anything to the school, so i had a rant, in which people actually give good suggestions over me helping DD, you just decided to be rude and sarcastic.

OP posts: