AIBU? or is DP?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

I have been meaning to get my hair cut for weeks. Money and time have both been an issue. Last week I was going to do the mumsnet haircut but I chickened out.

DP had arranged for his friends sister to do it on sat. But this morning she phoned him to say she couldnt anymore. So on the way home from picking DD up from school he went to the hairdressers and booked me an appointment.

He walked into the house where I had only just woke up (up all night with DD2) and told me he had made an appointment which was in Twenty minutes.

I told him that I wasnt going because 1) my psoriasis has went daft and I needed time to wash my hair, 2) I have had an on off cold for a week and feel like crap and 3) I really dont like appointments being sprung on me.

I dont think it would have been physically possible for me to get there in 20mins anyway.

So AIBU for "throwing something nice back in his face"or is he for being unrealistic?

(fully prepared to hear IABU as I feel bad)

Oh no! He was trying to be nice, Id LOVE it if my DP did something like this for me. But Id fluster at the short notice too.

Neither of you are BU IMO, I can see both sides.

It sounds like he had a lovely thoughtful idea, albeit not really thought out properly. I don't think either of you ABU. I can see why he did it, and I can see why you don't want to go.

YAB at bit unreasonable but I can see your point too.. can you not rebook it for a bit later.

Why would you need to wash your hair? They will do that..

Just call and reschedule for a more convenient time. Simples. No one is being unreasonable.

i can see both sides too.

i would love it if my dh did something like this... but would hate the short notice too

It was the last appointment before xmas.

I did tell him there are other hairdressers! But the guilt is eating away at me now.

I have really bad weepy psoriasis behind my ears and I have to wash my hair everyday. Think gunky sticky hair. Its truely revolting and I wouldnt subject anyone to it!

I think yabu. They will wash your hair, i'm sure they have seen it all before. Or you could have done a quick pinpointed wash of the worst areas, like a fringe was put behind the ears? He was trying to be nice.

But on the fence tbh.

His sister has let you down, so he has sorted an alternative.

But if he knew were sleeping/in bed then 20mins was a bit optimistic-even without washing hair.

Think I would have made the effort tbh-after squawking about it not being doable.

That should have been "bit on the fence".

Maybe butt would have done as well-just not but!

I feel unreasonable now. I just cant see how I could have got there in twenty mins even without doing my hair.

And it will prob be a nightmare to get an appointment anywhere now.

Aw bless, he was trying to be nice and it probably was the only appointment they had. But equally I couldn't get myself up and out of the house in 20 minutes so you weren't being U either.

Not unreasonable not to go- in your shoes I wouldn't have.

Unreasonable if you haven't thanked him for the thought- which was clearly a nice one!

YANBU but neither is he. Make sure you thank him profusely - it was a lovely, thoughtful thing to do for you.

Yabu. What ever happened to 'its the thought that counts'.

I get your pov, but he was trying to do something nice.

I have thanked him. He knows I appreciated the thought and hes just admitted it wasnt very well thought out.

Im going to feel bad about this for a while though.