WIBU to send second note to DSs party invitees?

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Background info: DS has always wanted a party, it's hard because his birthday is a few days after new year's day (so everyone still off school, away, broke etc etc) . Anyway, this year we saved up the £100ish it'll cost for one at the local soft play (they do it all for you!), and arranged it all in plenty of time. Due to finances we can only afford for DS plus 10. 2 of those 10 are my friends children (who DS loves, so not forced upon him ). DS chose 8 children from his class, and invites were sent out two weeks ago. NOT ONE FUCKER HAS REPLIED!

I am so angry, I know people are busy, but seriously, how hard is it to text yes or no? Unfortunately I rarely see the other parents (and wouldn't recognise most if I did, as CM does school drop off and pick-ups) so WIBU to send anther note next Monday (bearing in mind there are only 4 days of school left, and the original idea was that if people dropped out DS could invite someone else - that's right out of the window now) saying something along the lines of 'sorry to be pushy, but could you just drop me a quick text re DS's party, as I have had no replies and will need to cancel if no one can attend as I can't afford to waste £100 on three kids ??'

Alternatively (and this is what I'm tempted to do!) is just cancel the fucking thing at take DS and friends 2 children out on the £100. Don't have other parent's numbers, so tough shit if they turn up and no one's there really - maybe they'll learn a thing or two about communication then!

Any advice appreciated - I just feel sorry for DS - I don't want him at a 'party' with no guests . He's in Yr2 BTW!

I would send a note saying "I could you give me a text with a contact number, with the party being in the holidays it would be handy to have a contact incase their are any problems"

Did you arrange his birthday party on his actual day, or for the weekend after when they have returned to school again?

So many people in my dcs classes go away for half term and holidays so for us it is impossible to arrange parties during the holidays. Ds1s birthday usually fall around Easter, and his party is usually therefore a week late or early. Otherwise, he would have no guests!

Yes. Ask again and let them know if they don't reply by Monday ... someone else will be invited in their place. People are so rude not replying to invites.

Gold It's the weekend after, I thought they'd be back at school by then (cos I'm back at work ) but apparently not.

SirzyThat's a good idea, I could send something along the lines of 'just realised school won't be back before party date, could you drop me a text with your number just in case there are any problems with party in new year'. Though if the response to that is anything like the response to the original invite ... ... I bloody hate these type of things!

I so feel for you! We just had my DDs party last weekend, and it was a nightmare getting replies. One mum just looked at me and said "No, she has been naughty". Another one never turned up (and this was of course the multi-allergy child that I had bought special food for!).

I think it is absolutely fine to send another note. Alternatively, perhaps you could ask the CM to ask the mums to contact you regarding the party?

But you are right, everybody is busy, and some how many people are very insensitive and don't reply quickly - it's like they think that if their child isn't going, then it's not mandatory to reply!

Good luck! Next year I am definitely having my DDs party early, like a month before. Perhaps you could have your DCs party a month later?

Do you have their email addresses?

You could say that you need an RSVP by x date as the venue needs the numbers confirmed.

Have they definitely got the invitations?

Dds birthday is early jan and we do her party at the end of jan, giving invitations after the Xmas hols.

My friend does similar with her dds birthday which falls in the long summer holidays.

misscph that must have been infuriating (we got loads of food in for Boxing Day visitors last year, who dropped out in the day!)! I might text CM over the weekend and see if she'd be happy to ensure 2nd note got delivered - she seems to know everyone at the school, so may be happy to just have a quick word!

I think we'll be having a summer 'not birthday' party next year if OH arranges it cos I'm not bloody well going through this again!

Gold I like the 'need to confirm numbers' phrase ... that doesn't make it seems like it's me whose head is spinning round and round like the girl from the exorcist (and cussing like her too!)

I hate this kind of shit. What is so difficult about replying to a party invite? However...they may just need a reminder, it could be on the fridge they walk past it every day and forget to reply.

I would get in touch with them all and ask specifically 'is your child coming I need to know numbers as I need to pay'. If they don't reply assume they're not coming.

Did you put an RSVP date? If not the party is still a few weeks away so I can understand parents not replying yet, especially as they may not have decided exactly how to spend their holidays. I do think a note with your phone number and a request to let you know this week as you need to finalise numbers would be a good idea.

My birthday is also first week of Jan and it is a tough time of year so I do sympathise.

Thing is the party is still 3 weeks away, and the other side of Christmas
So it is too far ahead for people to be registering it
People who accept will forget

I'd postpone it by a fortnight.

I've got the same problem OP. DS's birthday party is the 5th and I sent out invitations (via preschool drawers) at the start of last week. I've had five responses, so better than nothing, but invited 12.

I'm doing a make-a-pizza party so really need to know how many dough portions, toppings etc to make. I am wound up too about it!

Thinking about it though, most of the parents will be going to the nativity this afternoon so I can nab them then Is there an opportunity like that for you to see them?

I forgot to say I don't have their email addresses or phone numbers either so my back-up plan was going to be to ask preschool for their details on Monday to give me a few days to get confirmations.

Good luck!

Thanks for the replies all! DSs party is on the 5th too!

Already paid a deposit (not much thank gawd!) so don't really think I can put it back (and tbh I'm not going through all this crap again!) - I'll think I'll send out polite reminders with an rsvp date (for numbers!) and ask for a phone number too in case I have to cancel it (it could snow after all!)

Just a quick update (after seeing similar thread!) ...

I did send reminders (and actually bloody ASK one mum in the playground, I'm so crap!), and that got a couple of replies out of the woodwork, and DS had his party today. I also found out from one mum that she never got the original invite, only the reminder (bloody kids ).

We had one 'no thanks' and two who never said anything and didn't turn up (bloody rude imho).

Unfortunately the withdrawal was 2 days before Christmas, so couldn't invite anyone else from class (no tel numbers). However, one of the kiddies attending had a little sis who I also know from the childminders, so I asked DS if he'd mind if she came, so we slotted her in which saved mum having to worry about entertaining/feeding her. We also had another turn up with little bro in tow, they were going to drop and run but the attendee was a little shy, so mum stayed and we shoved little bro on the table too to make up numbers :-D DS had a great time, and all was well. Glad it's over though LOL!

great ending and thanks for updating! rarely happens but it's good to know how things turned out

It is so rude isnt it! Both my boys have birthdays in the school holidays and so I ensure that the party is held during term time still. I have also over the years got the phone numbers and I text approx 3-4 days before the party to say how much DS is looking forward to seeing them on xxxx date.