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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel a bit devastated about this

9 replies

MrsLyman · 14/12/2012 07:25

I think I have PND, I am gutted.

Long story short, I have been suffering from depression at varying degrees for around 7 years, probably longer if I admit it. I have DS1 who is 19 months and DS2 is 12 weeks. DS2 was planned in that we wanted a second child but an accident in that we weren't planning to have one quite as soon.

During the first trimester I was very depressed to the point that I was just waiting to have the baby so I could kill myself. As the pregnancy progressed I felt better and received some counselling. Post birth with DS2 I've felt great even to the point where I could genuinely have said that I was not depressed for the first time in many years.

But now I've just lost it with my husband over the state of the house and he's given me a look. I feel like my delicate house of cards had just come tumbling down, we've all been ill and I just can't cope with any of the everyday hurdles any more. DS1 has a very bad cough I'm taking him to the doctors this morning, I will speak to them about me whilst I'm there. I just wish I was normal.

OP posts:

pod3030 · 14/12/2012 07:37

Oh my lovely, be extra kind to yourself. definitely speak to gp and don't let them hurry you through the appt. Hang on to that feeling post birth where you felt free of depression and make that the default 'snapshot' in your mind for reference. communication with dh is key, let him know how you feel and how he can help- he may feel pretty helpless and doing practical things like helping out with those everyday hurdles will be positive for both of you. xxx ps- there's no such thing as normal- being so self aware and pro-active about this is amazing, it's an ever evolving journey. don't be hard on yourself!

JeezyOrangePips · 14/12/2012 07:50

I suffered from pnd. I now have two teenagers and it's been a long long time since the symptoms left me. There is hope, and there is help.

Be kind to yourself. You have two young children and probably little sleep. IMO that is the toughest time of parenthood. So many mums go through a tough time yet it's a bit of a taboo - no one wants to admit they feel that way when everyone is cooing about these gorgeous children.

But you are one step further along the process than I got. I never once admitted to pnd while I suffered from it. It was about five years later than I spoke to someone suffering and said 'I know how you feel, I felt the same'. You can get help now, which is fantastic. Well done (seriously) - the fact you are saying what you are going through is important, and the first step towards getting over it.

You can, and you will, get through this. Go to your doctor, and take it one step at a time.

Back2Two · 14/12/2012 08:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

PessaryPam · 14/12/2012 08:41

What pods said and hugs from me too

witchface · 14/12/2012 08:52

Totally sympathise. I had just that rant about the state of the house the other day and in the process knocked a huge glass of coke flying. Really did not help :). 12 weeks is still really early, it took a lot longer than that to feel back to my normal.

Meaning the day to day of dealing with the depression i know about than the scary overwhelming pnd. Does that make sense? They were 2 different things and I was wrong thinking i could deal with them in the same way.

Try to remember what I had to tell myself the other day. You don't have to do everything. If you all have the cold get yourselves better. Doing nothing makes it worse but if you do just one thing on your list it will help. Pick the most important thing. Talk to your oh. You may think he doesnt want to know but im sure he would rather you talk to him than suffer.

Eliza22 · 14/12/2012 08:57

Darling, go see your GP TODAY. Don't be put off by a receptionist telling you "come back next week, we've no appointments available". You are not the first to be going through this and you do need some professional help.

This is a tough time for you and it is a physical response to where you are hormonally added to the stress of two tiny children, no sleep and a husband who is probably at the end of his rope, too.

Get some support and speak honestly to GP or HV, today.

ImAlpharius · 14/12/2012 09:08

I read something recently, that some may find twee but has really helped me.

Depression is about chemicals, not character.

Be kind to yourself.

Jingleallthejay · 14/12/2012 09:16

Dont be so hard on yourself lovey you are Ill you can't help it I had crippiling PND with dd1 I can still remember how awful i felt she is nearly 20, speak to your Gp get help and take care of you .

Original poster

MrsLyman · 14/12/2012 15:02

Thank you for your kindness. I didn't speak to the doctor yet I need to work out my mood more before I do.

DH is very supportive generally, but he is long suffering it can't be easy living with a long term depressive. But he has a hard job with long hours, we have two under 19 months life just feels like very hard work at the moment. I struggle with knowing how to fix certain things whilst not having the time/ energy to do even the simplest task that would make life easier.

OP posts:

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