Why do PTA parents get to reserve the best friffing seats at the school plays HMMMM?

[BaublesAndCuntingCarolSingers]

Seriously, pack it in.

I know you do good for the school yadda yadda but it DOES rather cheese one orf when one has being waiting for 30 minutes outside school to get a decent seat and then one finds that PTA wimmin have reserved all the good seats for them and their DHs/children's siblings. Then said PTA wimmin waft in 2 minutes before the performance starts.

You want a good seat then put the work in, m'kay? Kfanx. xxx

I know you didn't Kew. If it was at our school I would have paid up and sent the DC but not thought of it as childcare though.

the children adore both the Xmas and summer fair and both make thousands of pounds (some stalls are not succesful and dropped).

We have a highish level of free school meals pupils (my DS is one) and I would feel uncomfortable asking for some parents to essentially pay say £50 per year to subsidise those (eg my ds) who can't afford school trips. It doesn't sit right with me but I'm sure others would disagree.

As it is, events which the children enjoy and parents can spend to their own ability seems a better way to do it. And I don't even require people to say thank you or even acknowledge the effort it takes. I don't know what personal politics you refer to as I can't really think of any at our school.

It would be kinda nice if I wasn't actually insulted for doing it though

"not thought of it as childcare though" - I hadn't either tbh but a fellow parent said it to me as she left her child with me and skipped off to go shopping.

Kewcumber, I don't think you are at my ds's school (because in ds's the governors ran the film night - I'm one and it gave me renewed respect for the PTA who had previously run it...). BUT I do have oodles of respect for the PTA who put in hundreds of hours dreaming up events, organising events, running events, sorting out all the cash, considering requests from the head and us governors about how to spend the money. Events which, as you point out, the kids love and that also raise desperately needed funds for school.

I had a tiny taste of that moany parent stuff the PTA must get all the time at the school Christmas fair. Dh was FC and a parent complained to me (while I was running the book stall, she was just wondering around) that no-one had told the 'new parents' (reception) that they had to put their kids' names down to see FC. She'd turned up an hour after it started and wondered round for an hour before ambling along to see FC.

I restrained myself from snapping 'how on earth did you get out of running anything?! When ds was new we were jumped on and conned into running the bouncy castle because clearly all the experienced parents knew that was a nightmare job!'

(Actually dh loves doing FC so much he kept his costume on, we walked home while he drove so as not to give the game away to any passing children, then he went round to this parents' house to see her children. And dropped in on another family who couldn't make the fete as well. This after a nightshift and two hours' sleep before the fete. And in the knowledge he had another nightshift in only a few hours. I had to admit he was a star that day. And it turned the complaining parent into a very grateful and appreciative one, and I'm glad her dds were thrilled at the personal visit. She's a very nice woman btw, just that one comment was quite irritating at the time; if only she'd realised how much WORK everyone was putting into running the event!)

Well that's a bit much Kew, I can see why that comment would annoy you. It does very much depend on the school and the PTA people by the sound of it. I have had bad experiences so I suppose that clouds my judgement somewhat.

The PTA seemed very scary, and full of very pushy parents who laid the guilt on if you couldn't contribute. There were only 55 kids at the school so not many parents to choose from. I am sure they aren't all like that.

kew I think that some PTA members get others backs up though.

Giving up time then moaning about it.
Giving up time and then openly resenting others that can't or don't want to. Labelling the PTA group as inclusive when in reality it is everything but.
Not giving parents who contribute in other ways any credit.
Appearing a bit of a martyr or self important...

It's unfortunate but these people put others off despite the good things that come out of the PTA.

PTA should give their time willingly without thinking those who don't don't care
if PTA can't give time without self aggrandizing or feeling martyred don't do it
these threads attest that for many parents the PTA are pita

I haven't ever heard anyone at our PTA moan about giving up their time or seeming self important. We generally have a real job talking people into helping on PTA. I have heard private gripes over parents who complain about everything but aren't prepared to do anything to change it but to be fair they are generally only 5% - just they're always the vocal 5%.

The big complaint this year was that our Xmas fair wasn't big enough or ambitious enough which I thought was ironic given that we struggle to get enough hands on deck to man it the size it is!

These threads make me wonder why anyone bothers - you wish that the moaners could find out what it was like not to have a PTA and then they might be a bit more grateful.

the moaners,presume you mean other parents.is that what your PTA call parents
ok so these threads clearly attest a common theme,many find PTA a pita
so maybe the fact PTA think parents are moaners etc s all too evident

I never moaned. I just didn't want to join the PTA.

Well actually my Dc are both now at secondary and its bloody brilliant!
NO PTA!!! no fairs ( or fayres) or handwringing !

I don't give a toss about the parents who don't care. I don't mind if they stay at home I don't even mind if they come and spend their money. I mind about people being rude about what I do and thinking I should do it better/differently/less politically (though I'm still not totally sure what you mean by that) - if you want to do it differently then do.

If you don't care then don't belittle what I do. Keep your own counsel because really its just being rude.

Plenty of people on MN know me in RL and I hope would agree I don't moan self aggrandise or play politics (little or otherwise) and whilst I will be giving up treasurer this year even if they can't get anyone else because its like having a second job I don't object to doing it one bit. I will be very sad if they can't get someone to replace me but 2 years if enough for anyone who wants to stay sane.

Not nice to be accused of some of the labels you use for PTA people across the board SM, don't think I'm being unreasonable to not like it. Even though you think PTA are a PITA if our PTA go, hardship fund goes as do school computers, playground equipment and workshops. Can't imagine anyone willing to ask all parents to stump up hard cash once a year but knock yourself - I'm happy to support anyone who wants to try. DS will miss schools fairs though it would get my vote.

Kew Then you ignore the (tiny yet vocal) 5%. They probably complain about everything, to everyone, in every aspect of their life. Just smile and say "Oh, what a shame you didn't enjoy it" :)

Yes Another, DS1 goes to Secondary school 12 miles away on the coach. I am strangely detached from any goings on.

Our PTA went into a kind of hibernation because some key personnel got fed up with that vocal minority moaning about what they 'should' have been doing. It was made clear that financial contributions would still be welcome to help the school buy items that the school budget wouldn't stretch to. How many people complained that the kids would lose out? A fair number. How many coughed up with the cheques, now that they wouldn't be badgered for cakes? Not one.

you reallly are knocking yourself out kew,vociferously complaing about parents
but getting indignant reading others experiences of PTA and defensive
reread your posts,how under appreciated you feel,parents who don't participate

At ds's school it is royalty that get the reserved seats in the centre at the front!

no by moaners I mean the parents who moan

ie - why are we having chili at school fair we had hot dogs last year
why are we having hot dogs at school fair the curry we had the year before was better
I think the tickets are too expensive
Why does my 7 year old child need an adult to come to the school fair with them.
Could you keep an eye on my child when after school club ends and they come into the school fair as it will save me having to pick them up until 7pm
Why haven't you talked to me about my child playing the guitar at a school event (because it a school event and not PTA)
Why haven't you got an Ipad as a raffle prize this year
I don't think enough PTA members stayed to tidy up (from someone who didn't stay to tidy up)

Did you miss the bit where I said to be fair its probably only about 5% who moan. PTA minutes are circulated to every parents and money spending ideas are all published in weekly newsletters before going ahead so you don't need to come to a PTA meeting to have a view, you just need to be able to reply to an email.

I do not consider people who have an opinion t be "moaners" but I do think waiting until its all organised, not helping then saying to think it should have been done differently is a bit rich.

I don't vociferously do anything SM.

I am having a heated debate on one thread on one^ internet forum. I think its mean calling people names who don't generally do anything much to deserve it. I don't think thats OK and am happy to repeat myself ad nauseum.

my dialogue with PTA s limited to decline to participate
I haven't made suggestion about fayres or comment on the events
from this thread it's clear some PTA think parents should/could do more.the afternoon meetings aren't inclusive to working parents

I haven't called anyone names
I said our PTA are housewives,they are

5%. 5 people in every 100. Easy to ignore.
You are over thinking Kew Most people are quietly happy. Just answer people's silly questions if you have to and remain silent when they moan.

Kew Then you ignore the (tiny yet vocal) 5%. They probably complain about everything, to everyone, in every aspect of their life. Just smile and say "Oh, what a shame you didn't enjoy it"

Well yes thats exactly what you do but I have seen our very hard working chair very upset by some comments and its not a pleasant experience.

Added to which the benefit of an MN thread is that I can say "Oh fuck off you big moany moaners" if I want to. Which I wouldn;t dream of saying in real life.

Well yes thats exactly what you do but I have seen our very hard working chair very upset by some comments and its not a pleasant experience.
You see, I don't understand this. Why get upset because a tiny percentage of career complainers complain? Why give them a thought? You don't have to respond other than to say "Oh. I'm sorry you're not happy" and walk away.