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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with school over this? Nativity show related.

65 replies

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots · 13/12/2012 14:40

DD is 7 and in P3. P1-P3 are the groups who are all involved in the nativity show, with P1 in main roles. P2/P3 usually do the narration or backing choir. P3 is split over 2 composite classes - P3/2 and P4/3. DD is in P4/3. News letter was in DD's bag on friday last week to confirm P1-P3 are involved in the nativity show, and this is a ticketed event. No note in DD's bag with option of a ticket on Friday, nor Mon/Tues/Wed. I work Tues/Wed so couldn't get into speak to office staff or teacher as I drop DD off early and then she goes to after school care. I went to the office this morning to ask about tickets as I hadn't had anything in DD's bag, and wanted to attend (DD wants me or her gran to attend, as she always wants someone to make an effort and see her, no matter how tiny her involvement is). I was told by office staff that only parents of classes 1/2/3 were offered tickets, and P4/3 were not as 'they are only in the choir'. DD is gutted. I'm pissed off - basically P3 kids, as long as they are in P3/2, get the option of having their parent attend, but parents of kids in P4/3 don't get given the choice, yet have the same role to play as P3/2.

So, AIBU to be really pissed off at this? DD was clearly upset at the thought I won't be there to see her, nor will he gran tomorrow (I wasn't even looking for 2 tickets, just one to let one of us 'show face' for DD's sake).

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/12/2012 16:09

X-post but I'd give them a ring now and see if they can organise a ticket for you. The office is probably still open.

LoopsInHoops · 13/12/2012 16:10

Totally unfair.

SantasBigBaubles · 13/12/2012 16:11

is this during school hours? Are you suposed to come pick her up and drop off out of school hours but not stay and watch?

youarewinning · 13/12/2012 16:11

YADNBU.

Your DD is part of P3 whichever of the 2 classes she's been placed in. She didn't chose which class she was in and should have the same priviliedges as the other P3's.

nannyl · 13/12/2012 16:12

I also under stand

YANBU

ClutchingPearls · 13/12/2012 16:13

So the school is teaching the children that some roles are more rewarding of praise(parents attending) than others. That's a horrible thing to teach, all roles are and should be treated as equal.

Is seating allocated? If not I would turn up on the night and loudly explain I'm here to see my DC perform and although the school has prevented me from showing her everyone in a team is important, I would like to teach her that all the children are equal and should recieve the same reward.

cloutiedumpling · 13/12/2012 21:29

I bet you that there was no intention to exclude parents and the p3/4 class just wasn't considered.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 13/12/2012 21:36

Kick up a fuss and they'll find a ticket for you.

badguider · 13/12/2012 21:38

I agree it's unfair but they probably just didn't think - and didn't think that it would mean so much to the P3s in the 3/4 class to have a parent attend.

I grew up attending a small school with composite classes and I think it's very important to be hyper-vigilant about things like this to ensure the class are treated equally and fairly throughout no matter which composite half they are in each year.

GW297 · 13/12/2012 22:16

That's unfair. You should complain.

mam29 · 13/12/2012 22:18

turn up tommorow and demand to be let in.

glad dds new school has no limits on numbers and ticket nonsence. ring school 1st thing tommorow surprised other parents in same position not complained.

CabbageLeaves · 13/12/2012 22:18

More performance... more places ?

gymmummy64 · 14/12/2012 00:04

Our primary is split classes so I know exactly what you mean and this would never happen at our school (there would be absolute uproar!). Either all P3s or none, regardless of whether it's the bottom split or the top split. I would complain loudly!

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions · 14/12/2012 00:28

It's a very long shot, but my dd is performing in her Nativity tomorrow with P1-P3. I have 3 tickets, 2 are spare now (they were for the grannies but they're both sick ) you never know, they say its a small world ...

It's crap, all the children performing should get an equal chance to have a parent/carer attend, regardless of the part they are playing.

There was a similar thing at my DDs school last year, only it was school trip related.

AmIthatTinselly · 14/12/2012 00:41

I understand your post too. I can't imagine how any school could think that fair. DD spent her p2 year in a p1/2 composite, where there were only 8 of them compared to 30 in the straight p2. If she or I had been excluded from anything I would have been straight to HT and if not satisfied then onto the Council

Rachel130690 · 14/12/2012 00:53

Yabu even just for saying P4/3, it should of been p3/4. I couldn't read post properly as it irritated me. Sorry

LookingForNewName · 14/12/2012 01:16

Stupid rule, pull her out and have a nice day out. On the other hand she won't be the only one in class with no one in the audience. I would definitely be tempted to pull her out though just to make a stance and save her from disappointment.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 14/12/2012 06:36

Rachel P4/3 means that there are more P4 children in the class than P3s; a P3/4 class would have more P3s than P4s.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 14/12/2012 06:38

Rachel Also, it's should have, not should of.

HTH

AgentProvocateur · 14/12/2012 07:29

Can't believe the rudeness of those people who posted to say they couldn't understand it or be bothered to read it. Why comment then?

OP, YANBU. Presume only a handful of P3 children are in the P4/3 composite, so I think the school should have squeezed in an extra row of seats for their parents.

And, Euphemia - my thoughts exactly.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 14/12/2012 07:50

Indeed, Agent - I start reading many threads where I can't follow the OP, so I go and read something else instead. Some people just like to make snarky remarks to put other people down.

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions · 14/12/2012 07:50

I think it depends on the school. My DD is in P3/2 and there are more P2 children than P3 children. My other DD is in P2/1 and again there are more P1 children.

But I agree, what a ridiculous point to pick up on.

roughtyping · 14/12/2012 07:53

That is rotten :( I would speak to the HT. Not fair at all.

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 14/12/2012 07:54

Sellotape Give me the school's number and I'll phone them to tell them they're doing it wrong.

WeAreEternal · 14/12/2012 07:56

I would either,
Go to the office this morning and demand a ticket, it is completely unfair that they are allowing one class's parents but not the other.
Or
I would speak to other parents in the playground about how unfair it is, to parents and the children, and see if you can rally enough parents to form a mob and turn up at the show and demand to be let in.

You would probably get further with the first option, you could even ask to see the head and explain how upset your dd was.
I would be gutted if I couldn't have seen DS's nativity, he was 'only in the choir' but he was still great.

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