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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

oh I soooooooooooooooo ABU. But I'm going to fucking moan anyway.

32 replies

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 21:32

There now follows an unequivocally unjustified selfish moany rant.

DH's "work do" is this evening, he wanted to go straight from work rather than picking up the kids like he usually does, as he said it would start early. He hates work dos normally, has ducked out of a few and has been moaning about going to this one. So this entailed me coming straight from work and picking up the kids, ds2 missing Judo because I can't get there early enough to make the Weds Judo run (reliant on the buses) - it's a one-off, no complaints there.

So I get home, getting on with house and dinner and uniform etc, no problem. DH then rings me on the land line which he KNOWS I never answer because for long tedious reasons I have a phobia about it. When I don't answer it the first time he rings again straight away, rather than ring my mobile or text me. I say hello nicely and ask how the "do" is going. It's 17.20 at this point, he gaily informs me that he has been drinking since 3pm, they all left work early to get started nice and early, he is a bit sloshed already. I ask how late he expects to be out and he says he thinks about 11.30 (ie when the pubs shut!). I say "oh, only 8 hours drinking then! Don't come rolling home too wasted please" he says no, no, I won't, and we say goodbye nicely.

Now I'm feeling a bit peeved that he wants to stay out drinking all night when he started drinking at 3pm and the meal etc was over by 5. I would have thought it was either an early do or a late one, not eight bloody hours of drinking. I've got guests coming tomorrow and the house is a shitpit (we are both equally responsible for that, various extenuating reasons for it, but it would have been good if we could have tackled the worst bits together rather than me doing it all alone). I had a trying day at work (again, not dh's fault), didn't much relish faffing about with uniform washing/ironing, tidying, homework (ds2 in tears because he lied and said there was no homework and now it's come home to roost as it is due in tomorrow, the little horror) and am now not much looking forward to a pissed-up dh pitching up some time after 11.30 and being fucking useless in the morning.

IABU. I know. IABU. But does anyone else ever just feel bloody self-pityingly FUCKED OFF?

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/12/2012 21:35

Um, since you already know YABU, can I just hand you a glass of Wine ?

Fairyegg · 12/12/2012 21:35

Yabu, it's a one off. Just make sure you get a long night out soon as well.

SizzleSazz · 12/12/2012 21:35

He's gone out for the evening.

Let him have some relaxing time and a few drinks.

You go to bed.

Seriously, it is REALLY not worth you getting this het up over it Hmm

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/12/2012 21:35

Yes.

YANBU

Wine
kitbit · 12/12/2012 21:36

Yes, I would be doing huffy tidying if it were me, even with no-one to hear me slamming the kitchen cupboards. In fact I felt fairly gloomy this afternoon for fairly similar reasons and wine helped.

Therefore, I prescribe wine. Tidy the worst bits, flick a duster round and open a bottle.

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 21:38

I can't just go to bed, I have to sort out the shitpit for guest tomorrow. And there's no wine.

Grump.

OP posts:
apostrophethesnowman · 12/12/2012 21:41

Just confirming what you already know - that YABU.

Xmas Grin
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/12/2012 21:41

He went out and left you with no wine?! LTB.

Aspiemum2 · 12/12/2012 21:43

Pissed off cleaning is the best kind, I love doing housework angry as I get so much done.
Use the energy, chuck on some music and get stuck in. Go and get wine first though Smile

squeakytoy · 12/12/2012 21:45

Unless your guest is coming to inspect your house, stop worrying. Just do the bathroom and the living room (and bedroom if they are staying over).. with a quick tidy.. they wont care, they are coming to see you.

travellingwilbury · 12/12/2012 21:45

At least you didn 't have to go to the stupid do too , I have to actually go and smile and chat to people I will not see again for a year .

Pointless , boring and annoying springs to mind .

Oh yes and pay for a sitter !

kitbit · 12/12/2012 21:47

Chocolate??

Delayingtactic · 12/12/2012 21:47

Ooh channel that energy. I'm like frickin Wonder Woman when angry cleaning. I have been known to do a deep clean of the kitchen when pissed off.

I get why you're cheesed, I would be too. And probably more irritated because I would know that I'm being unreasonable.

girlsyearapart · 12/12/2012 21:47

Yes aspie sometimes dh intentionally winds me up so I will go on a cleaning spree. The shit Grin

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 12/12/2012 21:48

Well, he's had 8 hours off today so he's definitely got to help you tomorrow.

In our house, the rule is you have to suck your hangover up and get on with it.

Kick him out of bed to deal with the kids at 6am or whenever Grin
(maybe check he's not still pissed first Hmm)

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/12/2012 21:51

In our house, the rule is you have to suck your hangover up and get on with it

In our house, the rule is that if DH has a hangover he has to suck it up and get on with it; if I have a hangover he has to bring me a bacon buttie and a cup of tea, then I'll suck it up and get on with it Grin

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 21:53

god yes wilbury I made the mistake of going to one when he first joined the company he works for, about 12 years ago. I spent two hours talking to some fucking monotonous muppet about his CD collection, then the rest of the evening firefighting when dh drank too much and started crying and going on about his mother. Never again.

I can't be fucking arsed to clean up tbh. Might just leave it till the weekend. I have to be out at 7.30am and I'm tired and petulant

Have just texted him telling him to bring me food and wine when he eventually makes it home.

To be fair he does deserve a decent night out. He works like a bastard and I do love him to little mintballs.

OP posts:
fluffypillow · 12/12/2012 21:55

I would be pissed off too. Going out for a few drinks is one thing, but eight hours of drinking??

I would be extra pissed off if DH knew we had a guest tomorrow, and he knew I needed help to prepare.

OP YANBU, your DH is.

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 21:57

there is infeasible amounts of chocolate in the house. But it is All For Christmas...

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/12/2012 21:58

Ah, but Christmas is over a week away; you have ages to replace it. Eat the chocolate!

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 22:09

it is tempting to crack open the Roses

but I mustn't, the boys audit everything at least twice a day, they would be appalled!

OP posts:
fuckwittery · 12/12/2012 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 22:39

that's it fuckwittery, neither of us has much generosity in our souls at the moment, we are just stressed and snarly. I know he deserves a good blow-out and he will do his best not to be a useless turd tomorrow.

Roll on Christmas. He has a couple of weeks' leave saved up and I am a teacher so I finish on the 21st. Can't bloody wait.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 23:30

He just texted me to say he has been "held up"

Tell me again that IABU. My wifely halo is slipping.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 12/12/2012 23:41

Still in the pub. And planning to stop for junk food on the way home. FFS. Now I feel like locking him out.

OP posts: