I want a night with my sisters but not my bil what do I do_

[MrsKeithRichards]

I've posted about him before. I have two sisters, one married, one long term partner.

I love my actual bil to bits, him and my sister have been together over half my life, he really is like a brother to me.

My other sisters partner has been around for about 4 years. Day to day he's an alright guy. With drink he is a twat.

He is rude to my partner and I. Never my other sister or her husband. I think this is because we are about ten years his junior. He speaks to us like we know nothing and are stupid. He's called my dh tight for not buying drinks in a round where when he wasn't drinking (I was but not in their round ) and it wasn't just one passing joke, it went on all night.

He's called me a silly little girl (I'm 28) when 'debating' music. Has called my dh a shit tradesman even though he got a kitchen fitted by him for next to fuck all. He's loud, aggressive and personally I think a bit of a bully. My dad lent us money for some serious repairs on my dh's van (which he needed for work) I mentioned it in the passing and bil had the audacity to tell my dad he was out of order lending us money. He was told by my dad to keep his nose out.

It goes on really. He's a liability, gets into arguments wherever he goes. Brings up controversial topics just to get a rise. I've had more than a few groveling apologies in the morning.

We used to all meet up regularly, have a few drinks and a chat but this hasn't happened exp a while now. I thought about getting us all together this weekend but I really can't be arsed with him. Do I just accept he might be an arsehole, smile and ignore. Do I invite my sister but not him? Do I just ask my other sister and husband round?

let your sister tell him she is having a sisters only night, and dont let him know that your partner and the nice BIL are going to be there...

The easiest way is to have a female only night, but this would obviously mean that you wouldn't get to see your nice BIL.

For purposes of keeping the peace, you may need to do either the above, or suck it up and deal with him, which I personally wouldn't want to do. He sounds like a complete idiot.

Female night only?

My bil (nice one) get on, it's shit they won't get to catch up because of that arse who can't handle his drink.

My bil and dh I meant

Does your sister recognise the problem?

She does and doesn't I think. She's told him to shut the fuck up a few times, apologised on his behalf and I've observed when we're out she kind of works at keeping him out of trouble if you see what I mean.

Just tell your sister it is a girls only night, then have the BIL and your partner there as well.

Tell your sister how you feel. Tell her you want to see her but not her horribel partner,

I have a lot of siblings, and over the years some have had partners we don't like, so we have made excuses like 'siblings only' or girls only in order not to have the other person there, while still inviting the nice partners.

My brother knew full well we didn't get on with his crazy girlfriend, so he would not always bring her along to parties or events and simply not tell her. They're not together any more, thank god.

Can you tell her honestly that you can't face another spoilt night? Explain to her that you will only invite him to alcohol free events from now on.

I think that not buying drinks thing you mentioned deserves the piss to be taken out of you both tbh.

Really? It was a wedding, I was part of the wedding party so floating about all night. My parents, siblings and partners all arrived together, sat together and started rounds together. Dh came along a bit later, bought a coke, bought me a gin as I was sitting with other friends. I bought a few drinks for myself over the night, he bought another coke and that was that. They drank in rounds all night costing over £40.

You'd take the piss for that? Fair enough if we were getting drinks bought for us and not buying back but you'd expect a non drinker in your company to buy a round?

Alternate between organising girls only evenings and just inviting around the sis with her nice husband.

Ywnbu about the drinks.

He also earns what we do in a month in a week. As he likes to remind us. We've been on our arse financially recently due to a serious illness dh has.

For someone in our 'family' to take the piss like that at a time like this really is the limit. Absolutely no way could I have written of a weeks shopping money on a round I'm not even drinking in!

That's why we intentionally didn't get into buying rounds, everyone else could see that and knew why without feeling the need to make an example of dh.

You don't need to justify it.

He is an arse.