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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really bloody annoyed with my colleague? Long rant.

49 replies

redrubyshoes · 12/12/2012 19:50

He lives abroad and commutes to work living in the UK during the week and flying home at the weekend. Nice guy and misses his family.

For MONTHS he has been asking for an invite to eat one evening at my house and we have booked and rearranged it three times (because he couldn't make that date or this date etc). He insisted that he wanted to eat certain things because he eats hotel food five days a week. Basically home cooking at my place.

Fine.

DH was sorry for the guy and understood as he has also been in that situation.

Finally a date was agreed on and I told him I had sourced the food he wanted, spent the weekend cleaning the house, making up the spare room, choosing wine and cooked until 11pm on Monday night so everything would be ready for supper at 8pm last night. I finish work at 6pm so would not have had time to cook everything in time (including baking bread).

Fine.

He texted to cancel at 7.15pm as he was "tired from meetings he had been too." Shock Forty five minutes bloody notice.

I told him this morning I thought it was just bloody rude and he has blanked me all day.

It was HIS idea. HE INSISTED HE WANTED TO COME ROUND! FFS

Tell me to get some bricks, build a bridge and get over it!

OP posts:
Original poster
redrubyshoes · 12/12/2012 21:00

Thanks everyone.

I will get out my trowel and morter and start building that bridge and stop seething quietly..........................

OP posts:
simplesusan · 12/12/2012 21:01

He sounds like an arsewhole.

LaCiccolina · 12/12/2012 21:04

Ah, I was confused by his behaviour until u mentioned his origins. I've worked with many and they can be very odd.

Lovely, but odd.

Build bridges?!? When he says sorry maybe!

rufusnine · 12/12/2012 21:43

you could take some left outallnight overs in for him laced with laxatives - or am I going too far!

MumofWombat · 12/12/2012 21:47

Next time he bugs you about coming over for a meal, do a tinkly laugh and say something like 'oh you are funny' and change the subject.
And I wouldn't be bringing in leftovers for him.
I totally understand your annoyance.

Original poster
redrubyshoes · 12/12/2012 21:56

I can't believe I spent half a day of my life 'sourcing' bloody haggis.

OP posts:
HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss · 12/12/2012 22:01

So he lives in the UK in the week, flies home (to Hungary?) at the weekend...why are you sourcing Scottish Haggis in France? Xmas Grin

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss · 12/12/2012 22:03

YANBU btw, I'm just a bit confused :) He's still a rude "wankpot"

MrsKeithRichards · 12/12/2012 22:04

Sourcing haggis?

It's out of season, no wonder you struggled.

CiderwithBuda · 12/12/2012 22:15

He wanted home cooked food but specified haggis and is Hungarian?? Odd.

A bowl of goulash and some goose liver and palinka would have done him!

YANBU. He was rude. But it is fairly par for the course with Hungarians. Not all obv. But lots.

Idocrazythings · 12/12/2012 23:21

Maybe he has a social anxiety that he desperately does not want to have and tries really hard to get over it, but at the last minute just can't do it??? Who knows- maybe I just have an active imagination?

Wheresmypopcorn · 12/12/2012 23:54

Write a text addressed to another colleague, something along the line of "Can you believe xxx cancelled at the last minute. What a wanker. so mad I may spit in his coffee tomorrow " send it to him by 'accident'. Then in the morning smile and say it was no big deal him cancelling at the last minute and would he like a coffee as he must be knackered. :)

Walkacrossthesand · 13/12/2012 01:41

Well, let's hope he keeps right on blanking you, eh, because he sure as hell has blown his chance of ever being invited to your place for dinner again, right? No bricks needed for bridge building as far as I can see.

Kytti · 13/12/2012 02:27

Get out the good wine for yourself and dh. HE clearly does not deserve it.

It's just bloody rude of him. Ask him to take you all out for dinner then text him while he's waiting for you in there to say you couldn't be bothered.

:)

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 13/12/2012 06:29

I think he's behaved like an utter, utter arse with no consideration for you at all.

If it was social anxiety, would he have been the one to have kept asking for months for an invitation to a meal at their house (rude in itself!) and to dictate what food should be got for him - knowing that would be hard to get?!

That's no social anxiety I've ever come across Grin

BeckAndCallWithBoughsOfHolly · 13/12/2012 06:37

He sounds weird, tbh.

Back to be work colleagues, no more - just work with him, otherwise blank him. You don't want him in your social life anyway, I'd say.

Sounds like you and your DH had a lucky escape from what could have been an awful evening anyway......

flow4 · 13/12/2012 06:43

Well of course you'll have to 'get over it', because it'll be far more trouble than it's worth if you don't... But have a good old rant about it here first! Grin

Rude, thoughtless, presumpuous man. I wonder how much his family miss him during the week...?

Lavenderhoney · 13/12/2012 06:44

He is blanking you?! No flowers for you, no message to you and dh? Did he get a better offer do you think, or was in bed with someone and didn't want to get out?
And sent you a text wanting leftovers- I hope you didn't!! What a knob. Still, at least you have a lovely clean house and know where to get haggis now...

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 13/12/2012 06:48

I think the fact he requested you source and cook a specific meal means he should have been there to eat it.

I don't think the house cleaning time is important sorry. It has to be done anyway!

StanleyLambchop · 13/12/2012 09:15

Ah, I was confused by his behaviour until u mentioned his origins. I've worked with many and they can be very odd.

Lovely, but odd.

The man was an idiot but this is just a sweeping generalisation. Odd? Is that now a recognised national trait rather than being an individual one found in every nationality under the sun?

stifnstav · 13/12/2012 09:29

I'm very confused by all the geography. Its like me being Spanish, which I'm not, but having a meal in Sweden and specifying that they serve Wensleydale cheese.

TwitchyTail · 13/12/2012 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theala · 13/12/2012 10:45

Rude git! I can't believe hje's been blanking you since. Git!!

I think you should tell all your other colleagues what he did as well, but that's because I'm mean and petty.

FivesGoldNorks · 13/12/2012 10:50

I don't understand this at all? I also don't understand why this after work meal was built up into such a huge deal.

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