This might be long but I need to know if I am having unfair expectations or if I'm justified in feeling I dunno what I'm feeling but pissed off is one of the emotions.
I was just over 15 weeks pregnant my waters suddenly went catastrophically so I lost the whole lot within 45 mins.
I was In and out of hospital ( baby still had a heartbeat given a 1% chance of survival ) on the Sunday I had a sudden massive haemorrhage at home.
Got home on Tuesday when baby was 16 weeks when his heart stopped was given an oral tablet to kick off labour.
It worked and the baby was born at home within 6 hours, rather unexpected as I was told it would take at least 36 hours to kick in. But it worked out well it was a beautiful moment and I will cherish the memory forever.
There was placenta drama that ended up with me kicking the anesthesiologist (a whole other thread really were she went mental when i used the word fuck within her hearing) out the room, the midwife and I worked together and eventually after 9 hours the placenta turned up with the aid of a Dr with a speculum and mini forceps, lot bigger and very swollen than expected. I lost a lot of blood during this and the midwife was concerend but it was clear that I was physically coping well.
I just couldn't get out of bed much for about 6 days.
The hospital midwives were first class I was so impressed with the care I received that instead of having my dreamed for homebirth I will consider a hosptial birth next time.
I was told the community midwives would probably want to visit me at home or I their office that I would have a chance to talk to them and ask questions.
A few days later a community midwife called DH but he was at the office they said they would call back in a few days but I could make an appointment before then. DH and I discussed it a lot over the weekend realising we had a lot of questions about my pregnacy plus we were keen to discuss what type of care I would recive if I conceive again.
I called yesterday. It was a difficult phone call for me I had just came off the phone to them trying to make my 16 week appointment when my waters broke it took me right back to the moment I realised my baby was in danger.
Anyway the receptionist was confused why I called, I had to be really clear that NO I didnt want a 16 week appointment that my baby had DIED at 16 weeks. She passed me onto a midwife who was equally confused again had to point out that my baby had died. I pointed out that they called ME to make this appointment originally. The midwife said she would go find out what was going on and call me.
An hour later I got a call, another midwife again had to repeat the whole NO MY BABY IS DEAD. FFS I wanted to really scream at them does anyone take notes when they take a phone call! But I didn't.
She then said the hospital will talk to me in 6 weeks after the post mortem results I pointed out again they called me this was to discus other results and in general to talk about my pregancy.
She then put me on hold, I could hear her discus me with others ( seemed to be in the reception area of the clinic) saying she had no idea why I was calling.
I hung up called DH who is furious they would call him wanting to speak to me only for them to then be confused.
They called DH today he made it clear he felt we had been let down, that he was concerned that no one had yet enquirer about my health and that we would no longer deal with them. He said midwife was unapologetic and repeated the hosptial will speak to us when the post mortem results are ready.
On and still no reason given why they called us.
Am I justified they don't know their arses from their elbows and to make sure that in any future pregnancies I never have to deal with any of them?
Or am I being unfair that really the services are for pregnant woman which I am no longer.
Please be honest.