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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you to tell me that 3dc (including toddler and newborn) is a walk in the park?

32 replies

WhatsTheBuzz · 11/12/2012 13:23

I am BU but dc3 due end of this week and I keep hearing how nightmarish a toddler (mine's 18mo) and a newborn is. Also have 7yo... Please lie to me?! I found going from 1 to 2 relatively easy but dc2 is very laid-back and there is a fairly big age gap!

OP posts:

Otherworld · 11/12/2012 13:31

It's going to be fine - really it is.

Just set very low expectations in the early months, expect DC2 to watch a LOT of CBeebies whilst you are with new baby and don't worry about anything but feeding and sleeping.

Congratulations!!

crazykat · 11/12/2012 13:37

It's difficult for the first few weeks getting used to a new routine. It tooke me about two weeks after DH went back to work to get used to it. CBeebies or similar is brilliant for distracting toddlers while you deal with a newborn.

DC4 is now 8weeks and although I have less time to do things, everything's pretty much back to how it was before he was born. Other DCs are 4, 3 and almost 2 BTW.

Mosman · 11/12/2012 13:38

I had three under 4 and honestly do not remember the first year, if it wasn't for the photo's I wouldn't believe I was there.
You will be fine because you've no other choice.

PinkSnow · 11/12/2012 13:40

I have a 2 year old and a little girl who turns 1 next month. Things are MUCH easier now but ill be totally honest I found it extremely hard work and felt very ill emotionally and physically for a long time. I'm only just starting to feel normal. Some people breeze it though, my daughter had horrific colic and didnt like sleeping so I suppose it depends on the nature of your baby and how much sleep and support you get, good luck.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius · 11/12/2012 14:02

I genuinely believe that it is harder to adapt to having your first child than it is to adapt to having two, and it is easier again to go up from two to three. I think you learn so much with your first two, including the quickest and most efficient ways to do things, and the little tips and wrinkles that gain you a few minutes here and there - and all that can be applied to stretching your time when you have three. Plus you are much more relaxed when you have more experience, and that helps too.

You will be fine - and congratulations on the soon-to-be new arrival to your family. And an unmumsnetty hug too.

flossyfloo · 11/12/2012 14:03

I actually found going from 2 to 3 much easier than going from 1 to 2. My older ones were 3yrs and 19 months when DC3 was born so small gaps, but I guess I was still in the thick of it having young DC so it wasn't a huge shock. Also, I was much more relaxed about it all 3rd time round (cos I had to be!) and the baby had to just fit in around what was already going on.

The most difficult age was when the youngest was about 9 months as I also had a 2 year old who was trying to be very independent but not at an age where he could be, and a 4 year old who had to be more independent than most 4 year olds are and was rebelling a little! I felt as if I never sat down!

They are now 6.11, 5.2 and 3.7 and I'm finding it easier each day. The only thing that gets to me with 3 is the amount of noise ALL the time!

You will be fine, partly because you have to be, but if you can cope with 2, you can manage 3.

gordyslovesheep · 11/12/2012 14:04

I found 3 way way easier than 2 - seriously! although there is a big age gap between 2 and 3 - it is better as they HAVE to (and you have to) accept compromise and sharing !

naturalbaby · 11/12/2012 14:06

I had 3 under 3, school has been bit of a saviour! My older two were very good and independent playing together so I actually had a lot of time to spend with dc3 which has turned him into a very clingy baby.

Just plan to spend a few minutes each day with each of your older children - just you and one of them being totally focused on talking to them and being with them makes a huge difference to their behaviour.

Dc3 was in a strict routine from the very beginning which also helped a huge amount - none of the sleep drama i had with the older 2.

SugaricePlumFairy · 11/12/2012 14:07

It will be fine! .

I had 3 ds's under 4.5 years and I still vividly remember taking ds1 to school on his first day pushing the double buggy wondering how I would manage this everyday?

All went well and ds3 just fitted in as number 3 baby does.

It'll be fab!

AnnIonicIsoTronic · 11/12/2012 14:12

Yup.

A walk in the park.

Every fucking day the same fucking park.

Even in winter.

When there is proportionately less park and much, much more dressing and undressing little bodies.

AnnIonicIsoTronic · 11/12/2012 14:15

(I love them all really! It's less the park and more the fucking cleaning actually. But they make such a great armful of a family, thy I'm now on dc4 - so I must have loved it really, right?

Sokmonsta · 11/12/2012 14:20

Yeah it's a breeze said through gritted teeth while dd is at school, Ds & dtd nap and dts explores the house with his newfound crawling skills

Actually, once you get into a routine it's not that bad. Agree you need low expectations in the early days weeks and make special time for all of the children. Especially for the middle one. Ds is a horror currently because he doesn't have enough time with me without the twins being present. Nap times are good, if baby naps!

You'll be fine. And they'll soon have lots of new toys to play with which helps :)

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 11/12/2012 14:27

You will be fine. The first few weeks will be tricky, but once the novelty of the baby wears off for the toddler, and you have a routine going, you will manage beautifully, honestly.
I have 5 DCs with the largest gap between 2 and 3, and if I can cope, anyone can

firawla · 11/12/2012 14:35

I think you will be fine, your older dd is quite a bit older and in school so should make it easier atleast she can dress herself take self to toilet etc so not like having 3 that you have to do everything for.
As other people said, you will cope cos what other choice have you got! but i honestly don't think it will be that hard - hopefully.
I had that baby-toddler age gap, but twice - so all 3 are within 3 years, and its doable. handful at times but fine, so sure you will be fine

PanicMode · 11/12/2012 14:37

You will be fine - I had three under three for a while - it's a bit blurry and the first couple of weeks were tricky as all of mine had horrendous reflux/colic, but going from 1 to 2 was far harder than 2 to 3 (or 3 to 4!).
Congratulations, and good luck!

nomazeena · 11/12/2012 14:50

I had 3 under 4 for a while. I found that having a baby and 2 toddlers was MUCH easier than having 2 toddlers and being hugely pregnant. I am not just trying to make you feel better. At your stage I was panicking as well but you are actually nearly through the hardest bit. It was not easy but easier than I had thought. My others were just delighted to have me stuck to the sofa feeding while we read books and they played around me.
Of course the house was a pig sty and they watched too much telly but we are through it now and they are all very happy. The hardest bit was cooking dinner, the baby wouldnt let me put her down as I think she sensed there was competition in the house. Get some carrots and oven chips in and you'll be fine.

MummytoMog · 11/12/2012 14:52

I had two eighteen months apart and it was essentially pretty darn easy. DD was pretty happy to watch CBeebies while DS lived on the bb. I think it's a nice age gap if the older one is independent/laid back. I would NOT have had a second child eighteen months after my first if DS had been my first baby though...

Justtheonemore · 11/12/2012 15:09

DC4 is 15 months, DC5 is 4months so I can quite vividly recall the sense of panic It is hard work, although not as hard as I imagined it to be (the scenarios that ran through my mind!). I find I need to be more organised than I did with my elder DC, as the elder DC had bigger age gaps, but other than that it's a piece of cake......alright, that last line was a lie

wrinklyraisin · 11/12/2012 15:18

I nanny for a 4, 3 and 1yr old (been with them almost a year). Not the same as being their mother, but from a practicalities point of view it's still a lot of laundry, feeding, toys, crying, giggles, craziness. I have to be fairly organized to get stuff done, or get out of the house on time. But in all honesty it's so much fun! The older 2 play well together. The baby is easy going. Some days I'm put off kids for life and others I just want to scoop these 3 up and bring them home (the parents are still waiting for me to actually follow through with that one lol).

Get lots of help the first few weeks. Prioritize. Don't expect a pristine house or lots of home cooked meals. Enjoy the dynamics of the 3 of them. It's wonderful watching these 3 grow up together, they're so close in age.

Annunziata · 11/12/2012 15:21

You will be fine. I had 5 in 8 years, and truthfully, I think going from 1-2 was the hardest. Take the first few weeks easy, but try to get your older ones into a routine as early as possible. Plus it's lovely having a 7 year age gap. My DS1 and DD2 are 8 apart and they just love one another to bits.

rainbow2000 · 11/12/2012 15:33

I had a3 and a bit yr old,18 month old and a newborn.My saviour was to get out everyday,didnt matter where.My 3 yr old started playschool and i put the 18 month old in to a creche 2 days a week it was really to give me some breathing space but it worked out fine.
I should mention i have a 16 and 17 yr old and they by and large are far worse.
You will be fine just get dp to get the other kids to bed thats what i did it gave me that bit of peace i needed.

AmberSocks · 11/12/2012 16:03

i had 3 in 3 yrs and then another 8 weeks ago,so i have 4 under 5.It is fine really,it depends a lot on you though and your kids personalities,i seem to create very chilled relaxed babies and children!dont know how!I guess i am not ocd about housework which helps.Just enjoy them!
Good luck!

AmberSocks · 11/12/2012 16:03

I meant 3 in 2 years even!

Svrider · 11/12/2012 16:05

I think once you've gone from 0 to 1 you can handle anything!
Mine are 8,6 and 4
I have no idea what happened to 2005 onwards
I can however tell most of the major incidents in Mickey Mouse clubhouse...

Justforlaughs · 11/12/2012 16:10

I had a 5 yo, then 3 more DCs in 2.5 years. Going from 1-2 was easy, going from 2-3 was easy, but hand on heart having that 4th baby with 3 under 3's to get out on the school run was the hardest. A double buggy is fine but when you have that 3rd child who either has to walk (very, very slowly), or go in a sling or balance on the handle bars it wasn't easy (before buggy boards were invented ). You'll be fine, just make sure you dig out whatever contraception you use, !

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