to ask for your help and exerince with my lovely teen

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I really should be posting in health but i feel that this thread will pick up more response
.My lovely dad is in intensive care - gravely ill.he had a stomach cancer which post surgery ruptured and he now has and has had for a few weeks sepcis and in a nutshell he on many life supports - cant move or speak.
My dear ds is trying to be positive as am i but he is very sensitive - has started to worry abot his lovely grandpa as well as me.I try to be positive as well as real.but sometimes i struggle to know how to manage things ,for eg last night we did the christmas tree . i tried to be christmassy and my ds said lets try and enjoy christmas mum grandpa wd want us to .and i tried to smile but he could see it was an effort and he said why are you doing the fake smile ....?? I was hosnest and said that whilst i want to be positive it is difficult soemtimes and that the cost of love is sometimes sadness.does any one have a similar experience as i need to try to support my teens - dd seems on surface to have less need to talk about it althiugh i know she needs support in own way.on top of my own worry and sadness i really want to support my lovely dc s thro this and be there for them - has anyone got any experince or tips re this situation please.sorry typos .I try to do our sad as well as our happy and also distraction but its really difficult as we get frequesnt updates as my df situation is very precarious and changeable.

How old is your daughter?

My mum died when I was a teenager so I know these things can be difficult for teenagers to process. I think being honest about your emotions is good. It is good for children to know that its ok to feel sad and angry when someone you love is not well and might die. I wouldn't see his questioning of your "fake smile" as a bad thing as it gives you and him a chance to talk whilst doing something else (rather than an intense face to face chat which might cause him to clam up).

I would also suggest that you let him know that everyone enjoying Christmas and doing all the usual things like decorating the tree is helping you because it is an enjoyable distraction and also because it is focussing on good thing and the future. Hopefully, that way he won't feel that he can't have fun over the Christmas period.

Also let him know that he doesn't have to worry if sometimes you seem a bit sad, being sad is normal and healthy and you will be OK.

DD was only 9 when my Dad died, but I can remember her constantly squeezing my hand and looking worried about me crying. How lovely that your DC are grown and considerate enough to think and care about you - and of course you're absolutely right - sadness is the price we pay for love at times like this.

Thinking of you.