To charge my son board when.......

[Sparklyblue]

he won't have a room?
I'll explain. My son wants to move back home, he has been living with his Dad, but misses his family and friends were he grew up.
Trouble is, we have no spare bedrooms. We have two reception rooms, so I could get him a sofa bed and put him in one of those. It would be quite private for him in there.
My daughter works full time and I charge her £50 a week for everything.
My son has a job he can start. Do I charge my son and if so, how much?
Thank you if you have got this far

Er, no I don't cozie

My son has a non-exclusive room and is on JSA (can't get a job as he is disabled but according to the DWP, not disabled enough for ESA or DLA ) and I charge him £10 a week.

I am also surprised that no one has accused you of "making money out of your kids" yet!

I think I'd go demented fairly fast if I had a snoring/farting/grunting ds to tiptoe past every time I needed a late night trip to the kitchen! Any way you can set up a soundproof substantial screen?

(apols if your ds does none of the above, but I would be amazed if he doesn't, df, db, both current and exdh and all exbfs have made various nighttime noises/smells/frequently both )

I'm actually suprised too Bogeyface.
How awful for your son, he should definitely be entitled to more than JSA
I won't mind that Imperial my DH does all the above and he's next to me in bed and still alive

I'd charge himm £60.

OK it's not a private room, but it inconviniences you because you have to walk through to get to the kitchen.

Strange how parents make their kids pay board. No one who I know that still lives at home does.

I don't but I'm on jsa (51 quid a week) and buy all my own food. That's more than enough lol must come to 40 quid a week for me and oh when he's up.

Saying that though I have always bought my own food I never paid house keeping when I was working.

It tends to be a token amount and really more a symbolic contribution.

Plus it begins in some small way to teach them vital skills.

how many 20 somethings (or 30 somethings. ) are unleashed on the world who are shocked to find you need to pay rent, gas, electric, water rates, phone bill, internet bill,council tax, perhaps tv, and that the food cupboards and non food consumables eg washing powder, deodorant, loo roll... aren't magically provided by the Tesco Fairy? not to mention insurance- car, home, maybe life...

you get them actually complaining that they've got no money cos everything goes on bills. hurumph.

To them, I wish to say Yes. Welcome to the Adult World The world where life is primarily paying your bills and most of us have very little left over.

If they've never had to fork out a thing, this is a massive shock to them. If they know that they have to pay X, Y, Z first and then what's left over is theirs, then they're beginning to get the hang of it.

There's no way I could afford to pay for three adults on my wages, so my children will be paying board when they leave school.

Maybe some parents are more affluent and can afford to subsidise a working adult, that's up to them.

I don't think it does adult/working DC any favours not to charge them board, it makes them over indulged and spoiled. Why would you subsidise anyone for living in your home? I know some parents secretly stash the 'board contribution' away in a savings account towards a deposit for a future home. My DB was extrememly comfortable at home in his late 20s and eventually my DPs had to move themselves to get him out (no idea if he paid rent or not) - they did want to move house to be fair !

No doubt we will get lots of indignant posts stating that my DC is not spoiled, he/she does X amount of voluntary work/is studying hard/needs to have a good social life etc etc. .

we both earn decent wages so could easily support our son when he becomes an adult, shortly. But I don't understand why we should. He's an adult, just the same as the rest of us - earning less than us, but paying less for his keep.

I recall, HEC , when my DSis left home to live a better, free-er life in a flat - and her utter shock when the washing up liquid ran out. I mean serious shock.

She ran back to home a few weeks later.

From my CAB days this was a very common issue: adult children who didn't contribute to cover costs, with parents going into debt as a result. Often the parents had disabilities preventing them from working, and their offspring were working. Yet whenever we recommended charging rent/board you would have thought that we were suggesting human sacrifice by some of the reactions.

Why is it strange soontobeburns. I paid board when I was at home, all my friends did, actually, I don't know anyone that hasn't had to

Couldnt you give him the otger reception room (if its a non-through room) and put a bed in, and have the through-room as the lounge?

I'm counting down te days until I can charge my DC. I need another mortgage to feed 12 year old DS1 at the moment

I personally think it's more strange when parents don't charge adult kids board - unless there are extenuating circumstances. Even if you can afford to keep another adult I think it's a good idea to take the money - so "child" gets used to budgeting - and save it if you wish for their future. But increasing numbers of parents simply can't afford to sub 1 or more adults indefinitely ... okay, when they're actual kids of course you support them, but as they become more independent as young adults, many parents then have to start thinking about using the money they would otherwise have spent on their own futures. Most people don't have kids thinking they'll still be totally responsible for them financially once they start working after all.

In times gone by - and not too long ago - from what I've read and from what older relatives have said, it was very common for young adults to hand over the whole of their pay packet whereupon mum would hand back fares to work, plus a little "pocket" money. Technically they might have been adults but the mindset was rather different and people spoke more about "contributing to the household" as opposed to "paying board". It was simply expected that everyone would help as much as possible as soon as they could. Then a bit later - I guess when most families started to be better off overall, it was more common to ask for 1/3 board, 1/3 savings and 1/3 spending .... again, this was the general experience in my family. Then to more recent times when a lot of young adults feel very disgruntled at having to pay anything at all and many parents feel guilty for asking! I guess now that more and more families simply won't have a choice in asking for board from adult kids .....

I paid board when I lived at home. Mum used to save it in a PO account, and if I needed/wanted something 'big' she'd buy it for me from what she'd saved

I actually think that contributing to running the household can be more valuable than paying a token amount but getting everything done for you.

40 pounds a week getting you a cooked meal everyday, all your washing and ironing done etc is not an introduction to the real world.

ironing done!!!! Ha. my school age kids do their own ironing if they want things ironed. they have arms the same way i do, as does with my cleaning person. they also do jobs around the house. Personally i was expecting them to continue to do jobs as well as pay board - i do so why shouldn't they?

i see this as a way of encouraging them to do well at work so they can leave home and leave a normal adult independant life.

I'm sure some parents expect both, but equally i know many who do absolutely everything but charge their adult offspring a very small amount of board.

Even on this thread someone stated 'presumbly you cook all his meals' as though that's perfectly normal

catsmother
thats what my grandad did. Just before he started work at 14 his dad died and he was the man of the house with all the responsibilities that came with. He worked all week, handed over his pay to his mum to pay the rent etc with and she would give him a bit of pocket money. Eventually he did get some savings, so he could marry my grandma when they were 18 (and in a bit of trouble, if you get my drift ), but mainly his money went on supporting his mum and siblings.

I read somewhere that most single people spend 40% of their take home pay on accommodation.

My parents charged me the going rate when I left university to get me used to the real world. They saved half of the money (without telling me) and put it towards the deposit on my first flat.

He's your son though - no need to base it on market rates.

Yes charge board but do make it less. It isn't a room which is completely private so actually the same basis as his sister wouldn't be fair. Which is important to siblings.