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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask everyone to leave out christmas present this year?

20 replies

ghoulelocks · 10/12/2012 12:17

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with hyperemesis which has come back with a vengence, mixed in with recurrant kidney infections and utis. I've been hospitalised 3 times in 3 weeks and lost a stone in the third trimester alone. It takes me ages to work up the energy to get socks on/ get my laptop from under the bed. I'm signed off work and don't leave the house. Now my toddler is ill too with a vomiting bug.

I just can't face Christmas, or the thought of traipsing round thinking of what to get everyone who never know what they want. In fact the whole idea of Christmas is horrible, considering I'm existing on toast and sleep.

I should have been organised early but I struggled to even get baby stuff ready tbh.

Obviously I'll make an effort on children's presents and do my best for my son to make it fun, but is it reasonable to ask adults to appreciate the fact that I'm wiped out? I'm very happy not to get anything myself and just be left alone to a dark room.

OP posts:

PoisonMountain · 10/12/2012 12:20

We're doing no presents between adults this year. But it might be a bit late to suggest it now.

squeakytoy · 10/12/2012 12:21

Is your partner/husband incapable of shopping? Get him to bloody help out.

TunipTheVegedude · 10/12/2012 12:21

yes, yanbu, you should postpone your Christmas and have a lovely celebration when you're feeling better.

ENormaSnob · 10/12/2012 12:22

As a fellow hyperemesis sufferer I feel your pain.

However, as it's only 2 weeks away I think yabu.

Could you shop online? Do you have a dp to help?

Original poster

ghoulelocks · 10/12/2012 12:22

He's incapable of pleasing his fussy in-laws I'd say.

I'm sure no one has bought yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

ghoulelocks · 10/12/2012 12:23

Partly this is me just wishing the world would just fuck off and leave me alone I must admit.

OP posts:

badguider · 10/12/2012 12:23

If you're a single parent then I don't think anybody could expect you to be buying presents between hospital visits... just let everybody know that you will make it up to them in the new year.

If you have a DP or DH though I think that he/she should be doing the legwork.

redskyatnight · 10/12/2012 12:23

We also don't buy for adults. But agree it is probably too late now to suggest it -others have probably already bought your present.

I'd suggest getting vouchers or buying something simple like a book/DVD over the internet.

BoerWarKids · 10/12/2012 12:24

YADNBU

In my family we only do presents for children. It's the way to go

StrawberryTot · 10/12/2012 12:24

Yanbu. I agree with Poison, even though its late on could you not suggest no presents for adults. My family have been sticking to this guideline for a few years now and my goodness it ain't half cheaper and less stressful!! Hope you have a good Xmas

Original poster

ghoulelocks · 10/12/2012 12:24

dh is doing a fantastic amount of legwork working full time, at times 100% childcare/ cleaning whilst still managing to be nice to me!

OP posts:

NoTeaForMe · 10/12/2012 12:26

Personally I think that if you've been ill for a long time then you and your partner should have sorted this, ie he should have done it. Any well time you felt up to helping you could have, but basically why hasn't he done it?!

I do feel for you though!

TunipTheVegedude · 10/12/2012 12:27

Even if people have already bought your present, they can save it up and have a proper gift exchange with you when you're in a state to do it.
Your dh needs to ring everyone up and tell them you're too ill to do it all right now. There is absolutely no point in your sitting there on Xmas day unwrapping a lovely pack of scented soap which normally you would love and throwing up at the smell.

ENormaSnob · 10/12/2012 12:28

We do secret Santa as buying for all adults was getting ridiculous.

This was agreed well in advance though, not 2 weeks before.

I really think its too short notice.

Get some online ordering done.

BigShinyBaubles · 10/12/2012 12:31

Sit down and shop online.
I've done most of my shopping from my favourite arm chair!
Hope you feel better soon.

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast · 10/12/2012 12:39

Of course YANBU - Just tell everyone that you are having a very quiet Christmas this year - can add as you've not been well - and will just be getting a few things for your DC's. I'm sure everyone will understand. Let them help you a bit this year !

It's ridiculous if it's got to the stage when people can't celebrate Christmas in the way they'd like or even need to due to crazy commercial pressures !

Other than that ask DH to help you as well - but essentials only

Meglet · 10/12/2012 12:43

yanbu. You've already been ill for 3 weeks. I wouldn't expect a gift from someone who had been ill.

foofooyeah · 10/12/2012 12:45

if you think you have to just get money/vouchers for everyone. If anyone complains be sure to throw up on them

lilacst · 10/12/2012 12:47

im sure if family and friends no ur current situation they will be undersanding. im a true believer in you dont give to recieve

Crinkle77 · 10/12/2012 12:57

what about shopping online if you have access to a PC?

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