Aaaarrgghhh! I DON'T LIKE PINK!

[Yamyoid]

Aibu? Mil keeps buying stuff for dd, and it's all pink. I don't want to be ungrateful, and some of the clothes have been lovely, but she is an intelligent, liberal minded woman so what's with the pink obsession? I feel it's now a bit late to say, please stop buying pink stuff (this includes bedroom accessories). But the prospect of 10 more years of pink is depressing.

likes the post at 12:55 by icb

This could have been my thread! My MIL is exactly the same.

TBH the bit that pisses me off isn't so much the pink, it's her deliberate buying of the crap despite me asking telling her not to!

Purple! Blue! Navy! Lemon! All perfectly lovely colours.

I have a huge bag of pink waiting to go the charity shop - ugh. VILE!

worra the OP doesn't like pink so everyone in society decides that pink is only good enough for girls and not boys? REALLY not following your logic there...also where are you photos of boys in pink?

You didn't read my post then.

No idea what you're going on about photos for, are you sure you're talking to the right poster?

Have I said what colours my kids wear?

Have I said I've taken photos of them?

Have I said I'll provide you with them?

Weird...

this thread is amusing!!! and we wonder why woman havent broken through the glass ceiling yet ....

Look, I feel the same. I don't know why everything has to be pink, pink, pink for baby girl. However people have given us some absolutely gorgeous things that just happen to be pink, and I am grateful!

TBH I'm grateful for any gifts as we are skint and could never afford these lovely outfits we're getting.

Beggars can't be choosers IMO, and in the end she's a baby - doesn't matter to her!

I love pink. Deep pinks look fab with my fair skin, blue eyes and dark hair. But I don't wear them from head to toe!

I only have boys and I do find it a little frustrating that the selection of clothes for girls appears to be twice as big as it is for boys in the few shops that actually do cater to both. But it does become apparent pretty quickly what a high proportion of those clothes are pink and I never fail to notice how massive the clearance section ends up in girlswear. Almost all pink.

While the selection of clothes for boys is smaller, the choice of colours is at least wider. DS1 loves orange and grey, while DS2 loves yellow and looks quite good in those dark, sludgy "boy" colours, navy and green. My favourite outfit for him as a very pale skinned, fair haired baby was an eye popping lime green.

OP, it really wouldn't hurt to discuss the colours you like for your DD with your MIL in an adult manner. Meantime, mix and match the pink clothes with other colours (eg pastel pink & brown or grey, bright pink with bright orange or red or purple or the whole lot) and send anything you really can't abide to the charity shop.

Exactly Pesh

I'm not keen on all this pink for girls and blue for boys either.

But if people gently explain their reasons to whoever is buying it (and why is it always the MIL?) then over time they may come to understand.

But the pearl clutching hysteria that often accompanies kids being bought pink clothes by their grandparents, gets a bit OTT.

You can't flick a switch and expect them to immediately see things your way.

pesh yes she's a baby now and it doesnt matter too much but it wont stop as she gets older and there is an issue with the socialisation ofvthe idea pi k=girls and its just reinforcing it. It wont only be pink.clothes as she gets older and the genderfication of toys etc is an issue and as children get older its restrictive.

To the posters who say all girls clothes are pink, pink, pink...where DO you shop?

I've never ever had a problem finding all sorts of colours for dd (3) - and I'm not a huge fan of pink on her either, only because it doesn't suit her colouring.

We recently painted part of her bedroom pink (my idea, pregnancy brain), she took one look and insisted on red ..until it was re-done in red. She now loves it, but also has pink bits in her room, and a pink hello kitty DVD player.

I don't understand the issue people have with pink - all this gender stereotyping thing is taken to an extreme level, ie 'don't dress your girl in anything you wouldn't dress your boy in'..what???!!!!'
I do think you CAN do pink without princessyfying it. We have nothing at all Disney or princessy in her room (including dvds and books) but it's still gorgeous and Girly and bright, with pink polka dot sheets.
Her favourite cartoon is horrid Henry and her favourite toy is a giraffe. Wearing girls clothes and having pink stuff in her room hasnt turned her into a simpering little princess.

Nobody expects to.flick a switcg and have things their way but yes we can try and moderate it and filter the negative side of it. Pink.is fine, but it should be fine for girls AND boys and constantly reinforcing the gender divide in young children and wirh it outdated steretypes is not good.

The news flash is that many parents of girls ALSO DO NOT WANT THEIR DC STEREOTYPED AS GIRLS.

Sorry to be dull, but why is this a bad thing? They are girls. Yes, pink is a "girly" colour, but by putting an embargo on it as some people do you're enforcing the stereotype that pink is crap, therefore being feminine or whatever is also a bit crap.

As 5mad says, "pink = girls", but why does "girls" have to equal "bad"?

5mad but some posters do get awfully OTT in their anger about it...and that tends to put people off of listening.

Same as the OP's insult about her MIL being an intelligent liberal minded woman so she doesn't get why she buys pink stuff.

i think a bunch of women getting their knickers in a twist about what colours babies wear probably does more to reinforce gender stereotypes than anything else.

sorry. had to be said.

thecraic And 5mad.... That's what I meant underneath all that waffle

I don't like pink. Everyone knows i don't like pink so no one bought it for my children. but i have completely different tastes to my mil when it comes to clothes and in the end i just had to tell her to stop buying things because everything she gave me for the girls i took back to the shops.

Does yours leave the labels on? most shops will let you exchange without a receipt. (you don't even need to exchange for clothes, have many times taken clothes back to boots and stocked up on nappies)

Yes i can see some people go.ott in their hate of pink and inlaws! But i think we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice by going along with it.

It goes much further than clothes and it is restrictive. Its not fair thar boys should like/wear/play with pink and girls toys are.limited ie science toys marketed at boys, ditto construction stuff. It is limiting for childrrn and it does i fluence them, especially as it starts when they are babies, it just becomes thd norm.

My main issue with the pink/blue thing is that it is just so bloody dull and unimaginative! There are so many beautiful colours in the world, and so few adults wear just blue or pink that it seems bonkers for any child to have a predominantly blue or pink wardrobe, even aside from any gender stereotyping (which is a massive debate I'm not going to delve into, and much much more than just about pink/blue).

I think I would meet the gender-neutral challenge laid down on this thread. DS has variously worn hearts, flowers and butterflies as well as cars, trucks and monsters. He has worn pink and blue, plus a gazillion other colours. DD has all of his hand me downs, and we buy her as much with tractors as we do with flowers. She wears many, many colours. They both get complimented on their colourful clothes.

It isn't that hard to find non-pink or non-blue. It really isn't, and it annoys me when people say it is. My 2yo DD is currently wearing a green and white striped top from Tesco, grey trousers from Next and an orange cardigan from M&S. We don't deny her pink. She has 2 pink tops, some pink socks, pink knickers - it is about as averagely represented as every other colour on her wardrobe which is pretty much how it should be until she's old enough to decide what she really likes. My 4yo DS currently has a thing for green - he'd not be able to indulge his love if green if his grandparents over-stuffed his wardrobe with blue.

I understand how you feel OP. Don't completely reject the pink though - its as valid a colour as any other! Just even out the wardrobe with other colours. I like the idea of gently steering your MIL towards other colours. She might just assume you love pink as you've never said otherwise. Start gently saying otherwise without denigrating what she has already bought.

Actually herhonesty people are foing mire damage by accepting it and going along with it. The genderfication if the toy market paeticularly has got much much worse recently and its depressing and not good for our children.

See the 'let toys be toys' threads and the fb page. A group set up by some mnetters to campaign against the way retailers market their toys by gender, limiting the choices our children make.

Pink.is fine, as are all colours but it shouldnt just be a 'girls' colour, its fine for boys and until fairly recently pink was for boys and blue for girls!" its a socially constructed and reinforved stereotype and its not a good one!

I hear ya. It's so wishy-washy. My DD has nice dark hair and really suits bolder colours, like red. I've just smilingly accepted all of the piles of pastel pink clothing gifts that I've been given, but whenever I buy something myself, it is never pink. When I moan about all the pinkness, my DH says I'm very ungrateful. You could put her in something nice that is not pink and say to MIL, "Pink is lovely, but isn't it nice to see her in another colour?" What really pissed me off, tbh, was not the clothes which are at least practical, but all the money wasted on useless tat. Teddy-shaped picture frames, plushy animals, baby jewellery, little pots to preserve first tooth, first curl in? Silver tube in which to store the birth certificate, anyone? NOW I sound Ungrateful!

5madthings - so get of your ar*se and do something about the genderfication of toys rather than sit around wingeing about baby clothes on a mumsnet forum. You do have a choice what toys your children play what and the type of play they engage in, blaming it all on pink clothes misses the point completely.

hhmmm wonder what all the fathers of these poor pink princesses consigned to a life of princessdom are doing now...

We are doing something about it, hence the campaign which i am.involvemed in. There was an article in the indeoendent on sunday. We have the fb page and twitter.

But the clothes and the toys are interlinked, its all part of the same marketing strategy.

Childrrn are influenced by the marketing and stuff is bought for them.and it all adds to the peer pressure of children to conform to gender stereotypes.

Hello op, I can see where you're coming from, I had the same prob with my Mum. As she was my mum I was able to tell her honestly how I felt, and she was able to completely ignore me We used to just put DD in the clothes her grandparents bought when we saw them, otherwise we just put her in stuff we liked. It's a bit trickier with toys, but our local charity shop has had some nice new toys donated... As for your MIL, I'd say something like, she's got lots of pink, I think she really suits....something else. My daughter has blue eyes and really suits the colour so I suggested that with a degree of success. Anyway, I lost my Mum earlier this year and now have the strange need to buy a really disgusting cardigan for Xmas for my daughter to keep up the tradition Mum started.

I think ppl who think pink is a non-issue are shortsighted tbh. I don't have any sort of embargo on anything but I do try and limit the pink influence because otherwise it becomes a limiting influence. It's not the colour, obviously, but the whole culture that goes with it. There may be nothing wrong with pretty pink princesses for a bit of fun, but I'd say there is a problem if that's the only thing filling a girl's head. We are teaching girls that looking pretty is the most important thing about them. I'm also in the Let Toys Be Toys campaign, here's why.

Nods along with 5mad and icb.

DS came home from hospital in a pink Blondie bodysuit. I don't have any means of scanning the pictures so you will just has to take my word on it. He also has pink jeans and a few pink tops/jumpers along with a million other colours.

I personally don't see it as "Going along with it" to accept perfectly good clothes from a loving relative who has no agenda.

If it was the case of a the MIL flat out refusing to buy anything other than pink to prove a point to OP then yes, I would have words.

However it seems to be perfectly innocent situation here. A grandmother when out shopping sees an item of clothing that she thinks is nice and for no other reason buys it, thinking she is doing a good thing. Simply because she loves her GD and was thinking of her.

I completely agree that gender stereotyping is wrong and you all probably think I have missed the point spectacularly but I would never hurt my MIL over it and tell her everything she buys her grandchild is basically shite.

Well meaning grannies are not the problem IMO.