To consider not going on this night out?

[slatternlymother]

I'm invited out on an evening out with a group I'm good friends with; known them since our children were born and all lovely girls.

Another woman will be joining us however, who I used to be best friends with, but turned out to make things quite difficult, trying to turn other friends (not this group) against me, then giving a tirade of abuse on Facebook (I know) for genuinely no apparent reason and then even blanking me in the street. At the time I was really upset. Now I just see that she befriended me at my lowest ebb, and took a dislike to me as I healed from PND etc and gained confidence.

She also did exactly the same thing to another friend of mine, even suggesting that her husband had 'tried it on with her'. They have now smoothed things over.

She's just very screamy, shouty, has to be centre of attention and as she smoothed things over with my friend a few weeks ago, I think she might try to do the same with me on this night out.

I'm not interested, I'm a different person and I can't be doing with the conflict and constant drama she draws.

Should I feign illness? Or go and just be cool?

She caused me a lot of upset and made me doubt myself for weeks.

Just say "you're glad she's cleared the air, it's a shame the friendship wasn't meant to be and your glad you've both moved on". Then remain polite but distant.

If she approaches you that is. If not remain polite but distant - play it cool :) also if she does misbehave the others will notice her for what she is - don't get dragged in to any games.

Thankyou she approached my friend and said they should 'bury the hatchet' or whatever and was all hugz and luvs... There's no way I'm going to be all pally.

I've forgiven, but I've not forgotten and seeing as leopards don't change their spots I've taken it as a life lesson.

Don't be intimidate out of a social occasion,

There is a time and a place this is neither,

lets discuss this when we can give it our full attention.

practice a few phrases to say with a smile.

Good idea quote I like that.

Not intimidated as such, just can't be bothered with a scene if I knock her back; and she would see the above as being knocked back I think.

I would go and have a good time with your friends. You don't need to go beyond pleasantries with this woman

I could have written your OP, I have an ex-friend who is very similar in behaviour. It all came to a head when she randomly slapped me round the face on a night out... nice. Over time, other close friends have experienced similar encounters, and begun to see her for what she really is. Most now say they don't have time for her drama anymore. I still see her sometimes at friends' birthday parties/big get-togethers, but just remain distant, and she tends to do the same.

I'd say you should go and have fun with the others, exchange pleasantries with the other woman if she approaches you first, but don't get pally or dragged into a drawn-out "reunion" with this woman.